Like having a house pet. It requires some attention frequently. Ignore it for too long at your peril.

Where do you live?

if it is any help, we put a pool in last summer and my husband and i use it more than the kids. we swim every day. unfortunately we live in a lousy climate (upny) and will be closing it soon which makes me want to cry! i love the pool. it is a vinyl lined salt generator, heated rectangle and i do laps for exercise.
i have always wanted a pool and love to swim so that is a huge factor. it always surprises me how many adults really don't like swimming:(
maintenance wise, i clean the pool manually (no robot) maybe twice a week and check the water as well. we put salt in on opening and haven't had to do much since. occasionally the water isn't hard enough so you add a chemical or the alkalinity is off but it isn't super time intensive at all.

By now, you've probably already signed (or not) the contract, but here's my two cents -- If you are a swimmer, then I'd say go for it. I like to swim and recently put in a small pool with a spa. I swim with a tether 4+ times a week and really love it. I would advise that you put in a heater (that can heat the pool, not just the spa) so that you can extend the use of your pool throughout the year -- even here in TX, you need to heat the pool in order to use it in the winter (which I do even when the weather is freezing -- well, 30-40's).

If you are not swimmers -- I'd suggest opting for a really nice built in spa -- you are more likely to use that than a pool. If you are looking to just cool off, you can opt not to heat the spa, but if you want a warm soak you have that option too.

Operating costs?

If you can open and close the pool yourself, and you should learn to do that, the labor is free. I'm in CT. It takes me about a half-day to close my pool in the fall. I drain the water down overnight to drop the water level about 20" below normal. The next day I blow out the plumbing and cap all the water lines in the pool and spa shell. I drain the skimmer and put a couple of those collapsable/crushable thing-a-ma-jigs for freeze protection. I install the loop-loc pool cover. I drain the equipment (pump, heater, filer), clean the filter cartridges, etc. Close the propane valves on the tank and heater.

To open the pool? Remove the cover. Winter snow and rain have my pool water level back up to full. Remove the plugs on the pool and spa return lines and from the skimmer basket. Prep the filter/heater/pump, which simply means closing any drain plugs, setting the cartridges in the filter, etc. Opening the gas valves for the heater. Takes a few hours to open the pool.

Once open, I vacuum the pool and hit it with chlorine. I use liquid (12%) Chlorine. In a couple of days when the chlorine returns to normal levels, I do a full water test and balance as needed.

My pool (20' x 40', about 20000 gallons) is open from April to mid-November. It has a side-spa.

I don't heat the pool, but I do heat the spa.

I have a variable speed pump, a Pentair 011018. Highly recommended. I draw about 2kW per day total running the pump on low-flow for about 10 hours a day, for about 2 hours a day it's bumped up to high-flow for spa use or when the sidewall cleaner is in the pool. It's quiet, and all the fluff about energy savings? For me it's true. Electricity is expensive in CT and this pump is saving me about $100 a month over what my old Pentair single-speed 1-1/2 hp Whisper pump cost to run. The level of savings surprised me. But it is real.

Test kit? I recommend a good Taylor-type of test kit. The initial kit ran me about $100, but over time I'm probably spending $30-$40 a year to test. You need a good test kit. It'll save you big time in head scratching and in wasting chemicals as you chase balanced water chemistry.

I sanitize with 12% liquid chlorine, about $3.50 a gallon. I use a little over a gallon per week, or roughly $20 per month.

When I open the pool there's usually $50 each year to balance the water. Sometimes baking soda, sometimes acid, or whatever. Some years I open the pool and the water is perfect. All I have to add is chlorine. The Taylor-type of kit won't lead you astray.

I spend roughly $200 on chemicals from opening day to closing day.

Daily maintenance? I get cup of coffee most mornings and go out by the pool. It takes a few minutes to skim off any leaves or debris. Most days there isn't any. In spring (pollen) and fall (leaves) I may have to do it twice a day. Takes a few minutes.

Once or twice a week I'll toss in the sidewall cleaner and let it run for a few hours.

For me, daily maintenance is pretty minimal.

The pool has been in now for about a dozen years. I swim most every day that I'm home. I have turn tiles on each end of the pool, so I swim laps. My kids are now out of the house.

I wanted a pool, because I knew I'd use it myself. If I didn't want it and I put it in for my kids, or for my wife, or to impress the neighbors, then the pool might be a bit of a chore, even if the daily/weekly maintenance is minimal.

Equipment? For a spa, I recommend you get a 400k heater. It essentially takes the same volume of propane or natural gas to heat your spa from 80-degrees to 98-degrees. A 400k heater simply does it faster than a 200k heater. I don't know much about heat pumps, but my understanding is they have a v-e-r-y slow response time. I have a Raypak 400k heater. No regrets. Easy to maintain.

Pump. Already mentioned the Pentair. Quiet and efficient. I'd get another if this one failed.

Filter. I over-sized my filter. I have a Pentair Quad DE 100 filter. I like cartridge filters, it may simply be because that's what I've always used. I only have to clean the filter carts once, that's at the end of the season when I winterize. With my old "properly sized" filter I had to clean the carts 2, sometimes 3 times a year.

So...a lengthy reply. Hopefully somewhat useful. But it is simply my opinion on how my pool works for me. And how sometimes I work for it. lol

Overall, no regrets.