GardenGrass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why......... A couple in Baltimore , Maryland had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing some of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream! The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendant rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the EMT saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. The little snake again came out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed, both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night. That's when he shot her.

Yes, we did miss you and now we envy you!! lol. You just took my hubby's dream trip and I'm glad it was so wonderful for you. Which port did you sail from and did you book through a local agency? We may get to go one day. Waiting for pictures. Ginny

Thank you guys! It is a little bittersweet, I have to admit. After all, both my wife and I grew up here and both of our entire family and all of our friends are here. Leaving is not going to be easy, but being able to finally break out of being in a seasonal position is a great opportunity. Leaving Fish and Wildlife at the Arsenal isn't necessarily what I wanted to do, either. But the reality is that eventually the Army money that we are being paid out of is going to run out. Its a weird thing that every paycheck you get puts you closer to being laid off. It's also a very small and not well funded organization even in the best years. Without getting too political, these upcoming ones are definitely not going to be some of those "best years." So while I do love working for FWS it would put me in a very tight spot if I were to limit myself, and especially if I were to try and stay on the Front Range. But with al that being said, I'm definitely looking forward to this new experience down in Arizona. From what I can tell, its going to be absolutely gorgeous down there. I have never been there, except when we stepped over the line at the Hoover Dam back when I was like 7. So all of this will be tremendously facinating and exciting get to be around a completely different landscape from the one I'm used to. I know those types of experiences very well, Popmama. But I hope this time isn't one of those, haha. Although it's good to hear that the desert there left an overall good impression on you, despite the difficulty. At least you're not just trying to convince me how hot it's going to be ;). I will definitely be putting up pictures of all the new things I find down there. I'm sure the novelty of cactus flowers will wane around here after the first month or so. I'm pretty sure they don't really bloom until late "winter" so you guys have until at least then.

jemdandy, that is so similar to the behavior of someone I knew. This woman was a friend of the family's and one day my mother and I had a bit of an argument in front of her- nothing terrible- I was frustrated by what I perceived as my mother not exercising enough (I was wrong- my mother was becoming very ill and we did not know it at the time- the "laziness" was in fact physical.) At any rate, shortly after the argument the friend of the family was with me alone and she told me how right I was to take my mother to task for not doing what she should. So a few days later, I am back to haranguing my poor mother and I tell her, you know even so and so says I am absolutely right in being upset with you about this. Well, wouldn't you know when that "friend" was with my mother , she told my mother that I had a lot of nerve to speak to my mother so disrespectfully, who did I think I was! My mother and I then realized that the friend of ours was doing this exact same thing but within her very own family- between her children and her husband no less. I am not sure if she sought entertainment or power or what by sowing this kind of dissension.