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What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Posted by lisa11310 (My Page) on
Thu, Sep 22, 11 at 16:36

I'm heartbroken. We live out in the woods in a small rural community. My Neighbor runs a "trading post" just a few acres down the road.It's a little wooden store and she lives in the back (I am also her insurance agent). A few weeks ago she "took in" the most adorable stray kitten. The kitten loves people and purrs and rolls over for her customers to pet. The problem is that she does not let the cat in. It is allowed to roam day and night. When I first saw the cat I said "she's so sweet why don't you find her a good home" her reply "she HAS a good home" (it has not been to the vet). Since then the kitten has decided it's great fun to come hunt at my bird feeders and fish pond. I am an avid birdwatcher and am a Certified Natural Wildlife Habitat. Yesterday after watching her nab a bird I tried to run after her with a squirt gun. She ran while I was squirting her but as I turned to walk away she came running up to me purring and rubbing up against me. The cat follows me through the woods to the Trading Post. I begged her to keep the cat in the house (she has a large sun porch) but she says she cant because of the food in the store (however she has a Grate Dane and a Westie in the house. Within 1/2 hour the cat is back at my door meowing to come in. This really angers one of my 4(indoor only) cats and sends her into fits every time. I walked the cat back home and begged her again even brought her a cat pan. She said "I will just go lock her in the barn" (storage barn no animals). Not any way for a cat to live.
About 2 hours ago I needed something from the store, I printed off one of the reports on the effect of cats on wildlife and headed out the door only to find the cat on my deck. She followed me back to the store I purchased my item and asked her if I could help come up with a solution, she snapped at me and said she was looking for a home for her. I asked if I could help and she snapped again NO! The cat is back at my door as I type this. I cant call her to come get the cat as she runs the store alone most days. I don't want to lose a friend (or a client)I can't let the cat keep killing birds and frogs and I am so afraid she is going to get hit or eaten by Coyotes. I need suggestions please!


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Take the cat to a rescue group


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Then, if asked if you know where it is, you can honestly say No.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I would not have the heart to lie and let her think something bad has happened to the cat when I know it is safe.She does "love" the cat but obviously not enough to keep it inside and safe. She would never dream of leaving her dogs out and letting them roam, why then should you let a cat? She is kind hearted and I think she thinks she is doing the cat a favor by feeding it and providing shelter but she does not seem to realize that does not make a responsible pet owner. The cat needs shots and to be "fixed" and given a HOME not an outdoor shelter. My problem is not that she is trying to help the kitten , it is that she thinks she owns this cat and is angry my complaining is making her give it away. She does not have an animal barn and does not need a "barn" cat as some of the other folks out here do. I also think I deserve to have the Wildlife habitat I have created free from other peoples cats. I'm just so sad that this is causing problems. I also want what is best for this sweet little kitty. Why cant she understand this?????


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

You won't have the problem very long, because the cat will end up a pancake on your road, or die young after she has spewn out four or five litters of replacements. You will however worry about her until that happens. Some people are just strange when they think other people are too much into their business and it looks like she obviously objects to your approach. Something you said struck a chord, however and that is " is angry my complaining is making her give it away"

So, really before I make any comments, how much of your dealings with her were complaints? (even though they are legitimate)


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Here's what I would do. Find a rescue group (not the local animal shelter, unless you know it's not high kill and/or overcrowded...that's another topic of dicsussion) and see if they can take the kitten. She's not providing a safe and caring home if she's leaving the kitten outside.

Rescue, spay/neuter, foster, adopt.

You will be doing the right thing for the kitten and your wildlife. You do not have to lie to her. Just do it..if she asks, tell her you found it a home. Done and done.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

For some reason folks seem to think that if they are feeding the cat they are providing it a good home. They don't seem to understand that there are so many ways for a kitten to be hurt or killed. I'm sorry that you have to go thru this but I really don't think you can win this battle. If the kitten disappears you are probably going to be blamed regardless of whether you did it or not, and if she stays around as she is now you are going to harbor bad feelings toward your neighbor.

Personally, I would take her to a rescue group and know that I did the right thing to save her life.


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Make the kitty disappear

The problem is the lady sees you as meddling in her affairs, and folks don't like to be told what to do, even if it's wrong.

You could find the kitten a home on your own, and when she turns up on your doorstep, take her to the new home. When your friend/customer says the kitten is lost, gently explain the dangers an outdoor pet faces, and pray she never does this again. This would involve lying to your friend, but you'd know the kitten is safe in the long run.

Alternatively, perhaps you can help get her spayed and vaccinated. Then get the cat a cute house for the porch of the trading post, and she can be an outdoor kitty. When cold weather arrives, I bet the lady would let her inside the post, she could be a great mouser/mascot for the store. If she is fed, she won't bother wildlife as much. We feed a feral cat, and she doesn't catch birds at all anymore. She tries pouncing on them, but is too fat and lazy now to be successful. Be sure she gets a collar w/a bell so birds at least have a warning of her coming! I know this isn't what you want to do because of the wildlife area you're looking after, but you wouldn't have to lie.

Good luck you're in a sticky situation, and please keep us 'posted' on the outcome.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

The lady sounds like an inconsiderate bonehead and I don't believe you should continue trying to reason with her. Just do what's best for the kitten, and for you. She obviously does not care enough about the kitten to provide a good home, and she does not care about your feelings or your wildlife either. I say, to heck with what she wants, find a good home for the kitten or place her with a rescue group!!


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

The kitten enjoys your place because you're around and there's more activity at your home than at the store. I think you should just ask her if you can have the cat. Explain that it's always at your home and you're getting attached to it. Then, either try to make the kitten part of your home or find it a new home. If you choose to leave her outside then buy a few CatStop and set them around your bird feeders, or install a Scarecrow .
The CatStop kept cats away from my DM's birdfeeders.

If you decide to rehome her, then start looking now since it's much easier to place a kitten than a cat.
My guess on why the lady doesn't let the cat in the store is because she's selling food and most cats don't stay on the floor level like dogs do. Most customers wouldn't like a cat on the counter when they're checking out.

If you keep telling your friend how to care for the cat then you will lose her as a friend and client. It already sounds like she's reached her limit.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Thanks folks. I appreciate the suggestions. She is well fed and she does have shelter (I do not feed her). I can not take her in. I have 4 cats already (all strays)and as I stated my one cat hates her, tries to jump through the screen to attack her, also our financial situation has changed and I could not take on the expense of another pet.Leaving her outside will not solve the wildlife issue. We have lived here 8 yrs. This is not the first time this has happened. This lady is kind hearted and provides food and shelter when strays come around. Several years ago one of her strays ran off with a full size squirrel. I went to see if it was her cat and found 2 litters of kittens (all with respiratory infections) and 3 kittens about the age of this one. I did call a rescue group and they left with nearly 20 cats. She was grateful then because she was overwhelmed and did not know what she was going to do with all those cats. Since then there have been no issues with her. The cat is here AGAIN while I am typing. It does no good to try to run her off because she is so friendly she runs right to you to anybody for that matter. I can walk her back to the store anger the lady even more and the cat will just be back here in a few hours. I guess it's time to make some phone calls. UUUGGGG this is SO unfair.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I too have a certified National Backyard Wildlife yard and would not be a happy camper if a cat was killing my many birds. That said..I love cats and have four strictly indoor ones who have never been outside on their lives. I have two dogs and keep the Dachshund tethered mostly when he's out so he doesn't kill wildlife like he would if he had a chance. This cat you're talking about seems like like a sweetie who would make a lovely indoor pet for someone. It's your job to do that since the other woman is very dense tho maybe well meaning. Call a a rescue group and explain to them. Since she's always at your house they can pick her up there or you could take her. This woman doesn't OWN her, just feeds her. Owning means shots, neutering ,and vet visits and a decent home inside.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Bad news, nobody has room for any more cats right now. I called every rescue group I could find. The cat was here when the mail came, I couldn't go get it because I knew she would follow me across the street. I didn't fill the feeders today or top off the pond to try to keep the birds away and the frogs in the pond (they have an island in the middle) She was here just before dinner meowing at my patio door, my Emma was so worked up by her that she took it out on my Calie who now has a big scratch on her nose. I looked at the "cat stop" thing, WAY beyond my budget (I would need at least 4)I did not go out and walk the cat home because I believe she enjoys our walks and may be coming here partly for the attention. I pretty much spent the day watching for her and going from window to window making noise to scare the birds away whenever she was in the yard. SO the saga continues.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Does your vet allow clients to post 'new home needed' in the office? I would talk to them and also put up a post on PetFinder.

Poor kitty just wants some attention and someone to play with. Are you sure she's well fed? You could offer her food in another part of your yard in hopes that she'll be more inclined to leave the birds alone. Any hunting she's doing now is more for play and sport than for food......if she's really eating well.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Annz, I know she is well fed. She is just still in her kitten stage and everything is a toy. I find dead mice out around the trading post, nothing dead has been nibbled on. Actually the lady had told me how the kitten was batting a dead mouse around throwing it up in the air and then chasing it (before my bird problem started). I think most of the birds she has gotten in my yard actually escape because she lets them go to chase them again, (that's the fun) however I am sure you know nearly 100% of cat attacked birds die from infection. I found one floating in the bird bath the other day. She loves catching and eating grasshoppers. One of my cats loves eating bugs (yup old house in the woods and bugs get in once in a while)and he is well fed. The cat is just being a cat and even worse a kitten wanting to play all day. I did not find anything dead in my yard today but being in thousands of acres of woodlands who knows where she could have run off to and with what! Having the pond , woodpile, rockpiles and brush piles is what wildlife needs but also offers a playground for a kitten. I would love to bring her in but she would have to come with a pension, 401K, Social Security, and solid retirement investments because my Husband would leave.
All joking aside she needs a good home. I will try to get a pic of her if someone can post it for me.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Did you try an ad in the paper or Craig's list?


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

That's really ashamed on so many levels.........your sanctuary, the kitten's welfare, the uneasiness between people who must interact and share their space.

That's why people who happen onto this forum sometimes get the impression some of us are pet nazis. There IS NO solution to finding kittens homes. It's like finding a job. There are five applicants (kittens) for every job opening (homes). That's why we are so adament about spaying and neutering. A cat is just as large an obligation as a dog. I took in two kittens this spring and when my social world found out about it, I had offers for twenty more. Those going to shelters (if they'll even take one) are often euthanised. If they're No Kill shelters, they're full and aren't accepting. My 'free' kitties have cost me about four hundred so far in vet bills and they aren't going in for their spay/neuters for four more weeks.

Part of this lies in how society has viewed cats for so very long. They've this impression that cats can take care of themselves, or that when push comes to shove and money is scarce, Fido deserves first dibs at the vet, and if you throw them some chow and let them sleep in your garage then they're better off than they were before. It's changing, but slowly. But some folks just see them as a sort of bridge between a domesticated pet and a wildling.

Wish I had an answer. I don't. I'm sorry.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

hi lisa, it's such a hard situation but really if the woman has had unneutered cats in the past breeding, then this situation is just going to be another disaster. I would contact some rescue groups and look at getting her spayed, and do as annz suggested and contact all the local vets to see if they can help rehome her (one of the local vets may help you out with a discount on spaying if you explain the situation but many of the rescue groups do discount spaying as well.)

I know it's not your problem but you won't be doing any of this for the neighbour, this is for the cat to make sure she gets a suitable home and spaying, and not left to breed more numbers which is likely to happen if she's left with your neighbour, and that will be a disaster for your local wildlife

good luck, if people would just stop being so ignorant about these things we might get somewhere so that shelters aren't overflowing and unwanted animals would actually have a chance at finding homes.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

She did not lay claim to those cats. She was being kind harted and providing them food and shelter. Things just got out of hand. This Kitten she claims as hers, (but is still only providing food & shelter). I would offer to get her spayed but we are struggling to just get by at the moment so that is not an option. I saw her this morning, she saw me getting in my car for church and was on her way to me but I drove away, thank GOD she did not try to follow my car! I have not seen her since. It's raining so she's probably curled up sleeping somewhere. I will try the vets office tomorrow.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I had a next-door neighbor once, loved her dearly, but she was always feeding the strays but never claimed them and took them to the vet. I tried to tell her that she wasn't doing them or the neighborhood any favors, that they would get sick, get run over, mistreated by some evil person or another animal, and breed more unwanted cats. She didn't listen. We also had a dog that wouldn't tolerate any other animal in the fenced back yard. When she told me that the cat was pregnant I warned her to bring the kittens into her house because of our dog. She didn't listen, one day one of the kittens unfortunately got over the fence without us knowing and our dog killed it. I felt really bad but there wasn't anything I could do. She was very upset but kept on feeding that stray cat and any other that wandered into the area. She now is a cat hoarder with 14 cats in and outside of her house. These people won't listen, so the best thing is to talk to them once about it and if they don't listen, find some way to find the cat a new home. Since they don't really "claim" the animal they won't know what happened to them and I wouldn't tell them.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Catch the cat and take it to the humane society. Tell them that the owner is content to let the cat roam while it's killing wildlife on YOUR property and disturbing YOUR pets and meowing at YOUR door, and all the owner said that they'd do is they'll lock it in the barn.

This is neglect and it's not fair to you or the cat. Turn it into the humane society so they can find it a better home.

That woman sure sounds like she doesn't want to be bothered taking care of this cat but has the gall to get angry at you when her neglect causes the cat to impede on you.

Cats, other animals and people suffer when people insist on letting their cats outside. Yet people refuse to listen to reason.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

So what did you do Lisa?


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I agree with mis_minnie, take her to the pound. There is a legal problem here. If there is no leash law for cats in your city, it can legally roam free. On the other hand you don't have to put up with it on your property and you have a right to take it to the pound. I don't think anyone has a legal right to take it and give it away when you know the owner. I trapped one because I found to many mutilated birds in my back yard. The cat would be on my deck, under the feeder every morning when I got up. I checked my rights, talked the owner, didn't help any. She wouldn't answer the door the second time. So I bought a trap, caught it the first night and took it to the pound. She reclaimed the cat and he was roaming again, but as far as I know he never came in my yard again. I guess he remembered.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I just found out that my county has a leash law for cats. Score! Time to get a cat trap.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

"Score! Time to get a cat trap."

I don't the glee about trapping a neighbours pet and sending it off to it's death, I couldn't even do that to a feral cat, but if that's what you choose to do then I hope you notify the surrounding neighbours with a description of the cats and where you have disposed of them so they don't worry for years about what happened to the animal.

I don't really see this as a solution because they may just get another cat so I think it would take less energy to change your birdfeeder so that it is out in the open enough, and high enough off the ground to make it safe for the birds to use. I do this with my birdbaths and the birds have no problem using them safely.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

First of all I would not need a trap. If the cat sees me outside she runs up to me rubs on my leg then flops over and purrs. Secondly I would NEVER take her to the pound. I have her on a waiting list at a no kill shelter. In the mean time I keep my eye out for her and make loud scary noises when I see her (she does not see me). I have not gone out and walked with her back home or interacted with her in any way and she is not coming over as much. My feeders are placed as much in the open as they can be, height makes no difference as many birds feed off the ground. I hope the shelter has room before the nasty winter weather sets in.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

hi lisa, my comments were to another post above about trapping cats and and birdfeeders :)


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

trancegemini_wa, I think it's abundantly clear that you're one of the people who feel that they're entitled to let their cats roam where ever they want and to let them do what ever they want, no matter how they and you, by allowing it, infringe on other people and animals. Cats killing wildlife isn't the ONLY problem. They drive other people's pets crazy, they destroy plants, they crap all over walk ways, they kill people's chickens and aviary birds, amongst other problems. Then, there are a bunch of dangers that the cats face themselves, coyotes, dogs, poison, cars, disease, trigger happy kids and sickos, etc. The list goes on and on.

Being turned into the SPCA would be a far better fate than being neglected by their owners like they are now. Better being adopted into a new home with an owner who cares than being found run over at the side of the road.

My local SPCA is a no kill facility. Please tell me why a no kill facility would lie and kill cats that I bring them? I'm confused why you assumed that they'd kill the cats.

And if people don't want their cats to be trapped and taken to the SPCA or the Humane Society or high kill shelters, then they wouldn't allow them to roam where ever they please. It's my property. They're lucky that I'm not sicking my dog on them, which would be my right but it's not the cat's fault, it's the owners and so the cats shouldn't have to be the ones to suffer. But cats are suffering. Do I need to keep a running tally of all the ones I see run over and brought into veterinary hospitals for unnecessary and totally avoidable maladies that don't happen to indoor cats?


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

"trancegemini_wa, I think it's abundantly clear that you're one of the people who feel that they're entitled to let their cats roam where ever they want and to let them do what ever they want, "

excuse me? the cats roaming around here belong to my neighbours so don't make assumptions about me please.

Good grief, take a chill pill


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

Ms minna is known to post some erratic messages. She does usually have a valid point however. I have thought about the fact this cat may be better off taking it's chances at our (high kill) shelter than facing the dangers of running wild. I would agree in a busy city where getting squished is much more likely than out here in "no darned where's ville" may be a better choice. It's such a sweet cat and it breaks my heart to not go out and love on her but I know encouraging her to venture away from home is not in her best interest. She will be coming into "season" soon and that will make her roam further. There is one power that I am trusting in and that is I can get her to a no kill shelter before she kills again or is killed or that she will wander into someones heart that will take her in. I ask God for this every night. I have had so many lessons in faith this year, I have to apply them to her and trust that it will work out.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I would at least call around and find low cost spay clinics, provide her with the cost and then offer to take the kitten in for her.

Also remind your client that she's soon going to be overwhelmed again with too many cats and sick kittens and rescue may not be able to help next time.


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RE: What can I do my Neighbor is mad at me : (

I just wanted to point out that when I said that I could let my dog out to attack cats on my property, that I was trying to demonstrate a point and that A. I would never do that and B. My dog gets along with every animal so I doubt that she would try to harm anything but I still wouldn't take any chances.

I apologize for my erratic postings. I have serious sleep issues and you'd be surprised how important sleep is to the functioning of your mind and everything else. When you've had sleep deprivation for nearly a decade, it messes you up in a big way, especially if you don't respond to the medical treatments.

And that was my life story for you. :/


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