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cindyandmocha

Loss of a best friend

cindyandmocha
12 years ago

We finally lost beloved Mocha yesterday. We got him at 8 weeks old at the local shelter, and had him for 14 wonderful years.

He battled epilepsy and arthritis for a long time. When he couldn't get up Sunday, we knew it was finally time. We spent Sunday with him on an aero-bed playing with his tennis ball, feeding him ice cream, and generally just cuddling. That night I got to sleep with him on my arm as he always does, snuggled close to "mamma" - all 90 lbs of him.

We took him in yesterday morning and I cradled him the last time in my arms as he fell asleep. It wasn't a hysterical moment, but more of a gentle lulling as i stroked his nose and looked in his eyes that last time. He was happy enough right up to the very end. And with the exception of not being able to get up any more, he wasn't in pain that we could tell.

But man, once I got home the waterworks didn't stop all day. I know in my heart he is in a better place, and able to run without any pain. We knew this day was coming, but I just didn't know it would be that hard. We still have Ginger and Rusty, but it is so very quiet without Mocha. He was "the puppy" even at his age - a real clown.

No more barking every time Brian comes home from work, no more spitting a tennis ball at me to trade for food (tricks for treats), no more crying because I ate the last bite of bacon or popcorn, or trying to chime in with his yammering while I'm on a conference call on speaker phone.

I missed all of those things today, and I know there are other things I'll miss too. As the saying goes, "If loved could have saved you, you would have lived forever."

Comments (22)

  • Elly_NJ
    12 years ago

    Aww, so so sorry. You took such good care of him up to the last minutes, but I know all about the hole they leave when they are gone.

    Thinking of you.

    Elly

    PS He is so handsome. Collie shepard mix?

  • Ninapearl
    12 years ago

    i am so very sorry to see this. having just been down this road myself less than 2 weeks ago, i feel your pain and your grief. mocha will be watching over you until you see him again. (((hugs)))

  • pamghatten
    12 years ago

    Ohh .. sooo sorry. Words aren't enough. Big hugs!!!

    What a beautiful boy!

    Too many regular posters are losing their friends ... it's so sad that these things seem to all happen at once.

  • cindyandmocha
    Original Author
    12 years ago

    Thanks so much guys. That means a lot.

    Elly, he was mostly Aussie, but over the top end of the weight limit. He was the biggest in the litter and stayed that way forever, and of course overweight too. The phenobarbital didn't help that much either.

    Nina I had just read about Ashley, and my hugs go right back out to you.

    I think I'll mostly miss that big face splitting grin he always had. I guess in human years he'd be approaching 96 yrs old and geriatric, but he never lost that "puppy attitude" or his grin.

  • calliope
    12 years ago

    I'm so sorry. He is so beautiful.

  • murraysmom Zone 6a OH
    12 years ago

    Cindy, I'm so sorry to read about your losing your beloved Mocha. What a beautiful dog he was. You were lucky to have him for 14 years. That is a wonderful life for a dog. And you can take comfort in knowing you were able to end his pain. I know he will stay in your heart forever.

  • schoolhouse_gw
    12 years ago

    A collie mix (or Aussie) makes such a great dog, smart and faithful. Sorry for your loss.

  • cat_mom
    12 years ago

    Cindy I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mocha. :-(

    I know your other dogs will never replace Mocha, nor completely fill the hole in your hearts, but I hope they will help to somewhat fill or cushion the void with their own unique and loving selves.

    Not a day goes by that I don't miss our cats in heaven, or grieve their loss, but I do appreciate and enjoy the antics and love our current two girls provide. I love them dearly, and know that someday they will "break our hearts" as well, but wouldn't trade a moment with them for anything.

    I wish you peace during this most difficult time in a pet lover's life.

  • Lily316
    12 years ago

    It's something we go thru when we love our pets so much. My thought are with you. I lost a cat in May and have a few more elderly ones. It's the price you pay but worth it for the love they give in return.

  • jomuir
    12 years ago

    So sorry for your loss. Mocha was a beautiful dog. DH & I still miss a dog we had to put down for total lameness a couple years ago. I remember the awful feeling when I realized he couldn't get up either, but he was in pain too :( so we knew it was time for his sake.

    It sounds like he was quite a character!

  • quasifish
    12 years ago

    I am so sorry. Such a handsome guy with a wonderful smile.

    (((HUGS)))

  • homebodymom
    12 years ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful boy!!!!!!

  • petaloid
    12 years ago

    It's hard to know what to say, but I've been there and my thoughts are with you.

  • katrina_ellen
    12 years ago

    Mocha is absolutely adorable in his pic. So glad he had a wonderful Mom.

  • spedigrees z4VT
    12 years ago

    Mocha was a gorgeous dog. I'm so sorry for your loss, but know that he had a wonderful life with you.

    It is sad that losing the ability to walk spells the end for an animal, but I've lost a horse and two dogs to this over the years.

  • ladybugfruit
    12 years ago

    What a beautiful boy!! I am so very sorry for your loss.

  • cindyandmocha
    Original Author
    12 years ago

    It's two weeks later and so very quiet here. I still have Rusty and Ginger but its not the same. It is just so darned quiet.

    Mocha was my "vocal" dog. He yammered for a part of my sandwich or breakfast (I work from home). He stayed half in my office and tried to "out-talk" me when i was on a conference call.

    All my coworkers across the country knew him.

    The nicest thing was........... when i told my coworker in Boston that i had to go put him down that morning.......... she told my other coworkers and my boss.

    My boss told me to take the whole day. My coworker told him that she and all my other coworkers (5 of us) knew that he was my "baby" and I would be worthless the rest of the day regardless of what I might say.

    How cool was that?

  • cat_mom
    12 years ago

    awwww, teary-eyed reading this.

    I hope Rusty and Ginger are taking good care of you.

  • murraysmom Zone 6a OH
    12 years ago

    Boy, Cindy, I would say you have a wonderful job and wonderful co-workers!!! You sure don't hear something like that very often!!! Lucky you.

    I know it's too soon, but I hope you are able to think of Mocha with a smile very soon.

  • cindyandmocha
    Original Author
    12 years ago

    Murraysmon, I really do. They were kind of use to Mocha "chiming in" on a conference call -- for years. I suspect they miss him too. He was our clown. Sometimes I would hear from them "OMG feed that dog so he will hush! stop making our mascot suffer!"

    LOL... those are memories that make me smile.

    My husband and I talked and and said every day we will begin to smile more instead of cry........... he should make us do that.... and we are.

  • Ninapearl
    12 years ago

    i can so relate to the "quiet" house. even with my other 2 danes here, it isn't the same. ashley was very vocal, too, but everything she "said" had meaning, unlike mocha who seems to have talked just for the sake of talking! LOL

    cindy, i got ashley's cremains back this week. she's home with me now and that is some measure of comfort but like you, i miss the talks we had every day.

    i'm glad you can smile at your memories, i'm getting there slowly but surely. :)

  • lascatx
    12 years ago

    Couldn't open these threads while we were dealing with our cat, but did today. Mocha was beautiful -- um, handsome but better. ;-) I've lost both cats in the last 3-4 months (the last 2 we had went about 3 months apart also). It is so hard to say goodbye. We now have our two dogs. They should still have years ahead, but I know it won't be long enough. ((( hugs)))