the best laid plans of mice...and pigs

11 years ago

well, arnold ziffel has once again driven me over the edge of sanity. it has been in the 90's here, not at all comfortable for a pig that doesn't have a place to wallow.

arnold and his big sister outgrew their kiddie pool so good piggy mom that i am, i decided to forgo food for a few days so that i could order for them a deluxe, made for piggies, swimming pool.

porkahontas took to it like a duck...errrr...pig to water. mr. ziffel, on the other hand, seemed scared to death of this new development and would walk around the edges grunting his displeasure and stretching his neck out to inspect this foreign object.

now, before i bought this deluxe, made for piggies, expensive swimming pool, i had dug a big hole in the pig pen and filled it with water and both pigs reveled in their very own deluxe, dug for piggies, swimmin' hole...

arnold thought he was "right up town", on the beach, waiting for some hot chick pig in a pink bikini to bring him a cold brewski...

i made sure to go out and turn him every few minutes so his tan would be even. you know, because i am such a good pig mom.

however, water runs right through sand so i was constantly having to pour water into the hole. that's when i decided to buy the deluxe, made for piggies, ridiculously expensive swimming pool.

however, being afraid of the deluxe, made for piggies, outrageously expensive swimming pool, arnold was getting stressed from the heat because he flat out REFUSED to get in the water.

so, being the wonderfully excellent pig mommy that i am, i dug a bigger hole in the sand, put a tarp down, secured the edges with some big rocks, dumped some sand in the bottom for traction for their adorable little piggy feet, and filled it with water.

as sweat pours down my forehead and stings my eyes and as i feel like i am going to collapse in a heap, i am almost done filling up the deluxe hole in the ground with a tarp to hold the water and when i take a quick break to get a drink to replenish the fluid that has been pouring out of my body because it's IN THE FREAKING 90's, i turn around and what do you think i see? yeah. arnold. arnold ziffel. in the new deluxe, made for piggies, drain the savings account pig pool.

he is grunting happily and bobbing for the very pricey red seedless grapes that porkahontas left behind. i hope he appreciates all i do for him. next thing you know, he's gonna be asking me if i can chew his broccoli for him! i don't even LIKE broccoli! **rolls eyes**

Comments (12)

justplaincountry
11 years ago
I rarely post but I just had to say, your tales of the danes and these two sweet porkies always brings a smile to my face.
But today, I really enjoyed your post.
Thanks for being The Perfect Porkie Parent.........
petaloid
11 years ago
Adorable piggies!
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Ginny McLean_Petite_Garden
11 years ago
LMAO! What a cute story! Leave it to pigs to outsmart us! Love your kids Nina!

Ginny
Lily316
11 years ago
OMG..I LOVE those pigs. Tell them I'm a vegetarian...lol
Ninapearl
Original Author
11 years ago
i am happy to keep y'all entertained. after a whirlwind flurry of e-emails and phone calls last night, it looks like i will be leaving very shortly to drive 90 minutes one way to pick up a 1 year old female pot who is in desperate need of a home. her family moved to within city limits and they are forced to give her up. i promised them a wonderful forever home for lilly and i can't wait to meet her. she has been a house pig her whole life so there will be some adjustments for her but i bet SHE will take right to the seriously expensive, made especially for piggies pool. hopefully, by the time i get home with her, arnold has not POOPED in the break-the-bank especially made for piggies pool, which he has been known to do. oy!!

this is "lilly of the valley"...
{{!gwi}}

more pictures and hopefully, tales of a peaceful meeting with her soon-to-be siblings.

i YAM the perfect porkie parent (said in my best cesar millan voice). :D
Ginny McLean_Petite_Garden
11 years ago
LOL! Welcome Lily!

Ginny
cat_mom
11 years ago
OMG, loved your story--had a feeling where it was going, but satisfyingly hilarious nonetheless!!! Hope Lilly of the Valley enjoys her new home (and her break-the-bank-expensive new piggy pool (and poolmates!)!
jomuir
11 years ago
You know the old saying, you can lead a pig to water, but can't make him get in. hope Lily doesn't lead the others in a sit in for peeled grapes next, she is a house pig after all.
Lily316
11 years ago
Maybe I should change my moniker...lol. Wouldn't want to get confused with lily of the valley. I'm lily from PA.
Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
11 years ago
I'm so happy Lilly will have a forever home. I know you are a wonderful pet parent. Looking forward as always, to more pictures.
murraysmom Zone 6a OH
11 years ago
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

This made my day. Thanks, Nina.
Ninapearl
Original Author
11 years ago
you're ok lily. we spell it with two "l's" here. ;)

well, as it turns out (and i should have known!), the very expensive, deluxe, made for piggies swimmin' pool lies empty and sadly neglected and practically unused because porky and arnold prefer the imitation fancy pool with the tarp that holds water. lilly has yet to venture up closer to the cabana area so i will take the tractor out today and dig a wallow for her closer to where she hangs out. i would just about bet the farm that within 5 minutes after i sweat another few gallons of sweat and stand back to admire my work, she will have already found the imitation fancy pool with the tarp that holds water.

seriously, it's too bad the outrageously expensive made exclusively for piggies swimming pool isn't just a little bigger. i would steal it away and put it on my deck for my OWN enjoyment!

i need to go back to work so i can get some rest!