My children's birthdays are in June; in 2007 we adopted the sweetest orange tabby, Dashiell, as a gift for my children (but mostly my older son, who turned three). He refers to himself as "Dashiell's mommie" and when he goes to bed, so does she. She uses his chest as her bed.
We have two older (eight years-old) cats who were our wedding gift to ourselves. We love them, but neither of them has that special spark of Dashiell. We've all met pets who are just special, have that je ne sais quoi. It's not disrespectful to other pets, it's merely an observation of "wow, that pet is pretty amazing!" Our younger son, who is now nineteen months-old, is a typical toddler around pets: not esp. gentle, but he adores them! Dashiell would always go up to him for a nuzzle and (aggressive) pet. She never once hissed or bit or scratched, never once.
Dashiell wears a collar with tag and has a chip, linked to us.
Well, we're doing a whole-house remodel and LARGE signs are up on the doors stating to not let any of the cats out. Most of the guys who are working here are here for weeks on end, so they know us, know our pets and know the drill. (Our cats are all indoor cats.) In general, the cats sleep all day, having dug holes in the bottom of boxsprings, although in the afternoon after naptime, when my sons and I play, Dashiell usually groggily wanders in. She loves being around the children. She adores them, and they her.
I had locked the cats in the basement, but then workers needed to get into the basement for mechanical stuff. So then I locked the girls in my bedroom, but workers needed to get into my bedroom to access a void space. None of that is important, but it seemed that wherever I locked them up someone needed to get in there, so I just let them have the run of the house, even though they pretty much only stayed in my room.
Well, today I took my children to a doctor's appointment and we were gone over two and a half hours. We got home and immediately I started getting dinner ready, then my youngest ready for bed. It wasn't until it was time to get my three year-old ready for bed that I realized I hadn't seen Dashiell since we arrived home. Immediately I froze, called out to my husband and we started to look. We have been top to bottom, bottom to top and in every nook and cranny in this house. We looked in the washer and drier, we looked in air ducts, we looked in closed doors and closets which haven't been opened for months.
I think I kept my panic pretty well in-check around my three year-old, tucking him in and then making a dash to run up and down the street, in the backyard, everywhere which makes no sense for our children-loving indoor-only kitten to be.
My husband handles things VERY differently than I, so he is at present not really able to talk to me. I went to him for a hug but he pushed me aside so he could keep looking. I'm not faulting him, but I just need to connect with someone who understands how much it's possible to love an animal and be so crazy about their disappearance that you end up feeling number. I feel frozen, paralyzed.
I am scared she might be dead and that somehow I'll have to not only process my grief for myself, but explain it to "Dashiell's mommie," my son. I'm normally a real Pollyanna, so for me to fear the worst is uncharacteristic. For whatever reason I don't believe she's in a neighbor's garage, locked in for the night. I would love it, but I just don't believe it.
This is supposed to be a wonderful time for us: we are off to pick up our new puppy this Saturday, but my heart feels so dead right now I just don't know how to be excited anymore.
Thanks for letting me vent.
cat_mom
laurief_gw
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Lily316
rmkitchenOriginal Author
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