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rmkitchen

Our Kitten is Missing -- How to Process?

rmkitchen
16 years ago

My children's birthdays are in June; in 2007 we adopted the sweetest orange tabby, Dashiell, as a gift for my children (but mostly my older son, who turned three). He refers to himself as "Dashiell's mommie" and when he goes to bed, so does she. She uses his chest as her bed.

We have two older (eight years-old) cats who were our wedding gift to ourselves. We love them, but neither of them has that special spark of Dashiell. We've all met pets who are just special, have that je ne sais quoi. It's not disrespectful to other pets, it's merely an observation of "wow, that pet is pretty amazing!" Our younger son, who is now nineteen months-old, is a typical toddler around pets: not esp. gentle, but he adores them! Dashiell would always go up to him for a nuzzle and (aggressive) pet. She never once hissed or bit or scratched, never once.

Dashiell wears a collar with tag and has a chip, linked to us.

Well, we're doing a whole-house remodel and LARGE signs are up on the doors stating to not let any of the cats out. Most of the guys who are working here are here for weeks on end, so they know us, know our pets and know the drill. (Our cats are all indoor cats.) In general, the cats sleep all day, having dug holes in the bottom of boxsprings, although in the afternoon after naptime, when my sons and I play, Dashiell usually groggily wanders in. She loves being around the children. She adores them, and they her.

I had locked the cats in the basement, but then workers needed to get into the basement for mechanical stuff. So then I locked the girls in my bedroom, but workers needed to get into my bedroom to access a void space. None of that is important, but it seemed that wherever I locked them up someone needed to get in there, so I just let them have the run of the house, even though they pretty much only stayed in my room.

Well, today I took my children to a doctor's appointment and we were gone over two and a half hours. We got home and immediately I started getting dinner ready, then my youngest ready for bed. It wasn't until it was time to get my three year-old ready for bed that I realized I hadn't seen Dashiell since we arrived home. Immediately I froze, called out to my husband and we started to look. We have been top to bottom, bottom to top and in every nook and cranny in this house. We looked in the washer and drier, we looked in air ducts, we looked in closed doors and closets which haven't been opened for months.

I think I kept my panic pretty well in-check around my three year-old, tucking him in and then making a dash to run up and down the street, in the backyard, everywhere which makes no sense for our children-loving indoor-only kitten to be.

My husband handles things VERY differently than I, so he is at present not really able to talk to me. I went to him for a hug but he pushed me aside so he could keep looking. I'm not faulting him, but I just need to connect with someone who understands how much it's possible to love an animal and be so crazy about their disappearance that you end up feeling number. I feel frozen, paralyzed.

I am scared she might be dead and that somehow I'll have to not only process my grief for myself, but explain it to "Dashiell's mommie," my son. I'm normally a real Pollyanna, so for me to fear the worst is uncharacteristic. For whatever reason I don't believe she's in a neighbor's garage, locked in for the night. I would love it, but I just don't believe it.

This is supposed to be a wonderful time for us: we are off to pick up our new puppy this Saturday, but my heart feels so dead right now I just don't know how to be excited anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Comments (18)

  • cat_mom
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Just sent you an email.

    (((HUGS)))

  • laurief_gw
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I know how terrified you are right now, but you need to pull yourself together because there is much you can do to find Dashiell. She may be in the house or out of the house. I'll cover both bases.

    IN THE HOUSE -
    1) Talk to every single one of the contractors who was working in your house since the last time you remember seeing Dashiell. Find out exactly where they were working and what they were doing. Did anyone open or close an access point to the interior of the walls, floor, or ceiling? Insulating? Sheetrocking? Were any old cabinets or other potential hidey holes (including large tool boxes, furniture boxes, or appliance boxes) removed from the house?

    2) Open every door, cabinet, and drawer in the house. Use flashlights to search the back of every cabinet, cupboard, and closet.

    3) Cats can get through amazingly small holes, so check for access points to walls (larger outlet holes), ceilings (light fixture holes), and floors (heating or AC ducts).

    4) Check under and inside furniture.

    OUTSIDE THE HOUSE -
    1) Place a soiled litterbox and a piece or two of your dirty laundry outside each of your exterior doors. The familiar scents will help keep Dashiell close to home.

    2) Search for her after dark with a flashlight. Cats are often easier to locate in the dark because a flashlight will illuminate their eyes.

    3) In the morning, call all area vets, shelters, rescues, pounds, and your local law enforcement and file lost cat reports with everyone. Make up a flyer with Dashiell's photo (if possible), and distribute them to all of your neighbors, along with everyone else I just mentioned. Post flyers all over your neighborhood and at grocery stores, laundromats, convenience stores, etc. Take out a lost pet ad in your local newspaper.

    4) Personally visit all area shelters, rescues, and pounds daily. DO NOT rely on telephone contacts with these facilities. You MUST visit IN PERSON regularly to check and make sure Dashiell hasn't been picked up or turned in.

    5) Ask your neighbors if you can check their garages and garden sheds, or better yet, ask if they'd be willing to crack the doors open on their outbuildings so that Dashiell can get in or out, as the case may be.

    6) Borrow, rent, or buy and live trap and set it outside your house after dark at night. Bait it with very warm, very smelly, fish-flavored canned cat food. If Dashiell is outside, she is probably very frightened and may not come to you even if she sees and hears you looking for her. A live trap is your best bet of capturing her. She'll be more likely to come out of hiding late at night after everyone has gone to bed and the neighborhood is quiet.

    I'll post more suggestions as I think of them, but please don't give up hope. Dashiell isn't gone. She's just out of sight. I'd bet she's very nearby, either inside or outside. Keep a level head and keep looking.

    Sending "come out, come out, wherever you are" vibes to Dashiell.

    Laurie

  • annzgw
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Check the places where the guys were working today. You mentioned a void space in the bedroom and mechanical work in the basement. If the guys were working on furnaces or anything that had a opening.....however small, double check those areas.

    If your cats had a habit of dashing outside every time a door opened, then I'd suspect she may be outside...........but I wouldn't be surprised to learn she's in the home somewhere.

    Listen for any unusual noises tonite.......and watch your other cats. If they hear her they may hang around in the area.

  • Lily316
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'll bet she is still in the house in a hiding place. Cats are not like dogs. They sometimes , well most times, won't come when called.. I "lost" a couple cats in the house over the years. Once we had company and I couldn't find one cat. I was sure she went out and I walked the alley till 3AM w/ a flashlight. When I came in, she was sitting in the kitchen eating. And just today, I was feeding wet food and all six are always there for that and Lily wasn't. I started to panic and called her over and over . I looked in closets and passed the kitchen table where she was sitting on my wool hat looking at me. If she did get out, is it possible for her to have gone into a workers truck?..And watch your other cats. They might lead you to her if she's in the house. Good luck.

  • rmkitchen
    Original Author
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I can barely see the screen I am crying so much. We did as you kind, generous, understanding souls suggested and at 12.55am my husband, bless his cat-loving heart, found her hidden between the subfloor of the first level and the finished ceiling in the basement.

    I confess after putting our smells (thank you laurie!) outside the exterior doors I sat huddled in a corner, holding our other two cats. Yuji, my husband, kept opening the exterior doors, calling for her every five minutes or so. Last week the plumbers had been here opening up a spot in the kitchen subfloor for new plumbing, and it was closed up, but not enough for a petite, possibly scared kitty. On one of his walks from the back door he noticed it and decided to do some investigating. He pried up a few pieces of the plywood and out she popped, stretching!

    I have never, ever had a cat go missing like that in my whole life (I'm 38, and have lived with cats since Day 1) unless it's in a tragic way. And that's where my mind went.

    From the bottom of my much-fuller heart, thank you cat_mom, my ever-supportive friend! Thank you laurie, for your levelheaded and printed-out list (for, gulp, if there's a next time) of what to do when mising a pet. And thank you lily316 for your incredibly reassuring story about your girl Lily! I am so glad Lily and Dashiell are okay!!!

    I will never, ever be able to thank you all adequately for keeping me going through this horrible night. You love pets, so you'll understand how crazy I was, and honest-to-goodness, you talked me off that crazy-ledge. You are in my heart!

    My son, St. John, aka "Dashiell's mommie," with his baby:

    {{gwi:2008633}}

  • Elly_NJ
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    So glad!!!!!

    Can you put the cats in a locked bedroom next time?

  • laurief_gw
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm so glad that Dashiell popped up out of the floor, happy and stretching. Now that she's discovered the joy of hidden napping spots, she'll be more likely to seek them out while the remodeling is continuing, so you'll need to be extra careful to keep her confined in a safe area until the work is completed.

    Also, ask your contractors NOT to remove any empty boxes or other debris from your home until you can confirm the whereabouts of your cats.

    Dashiell's mommie and his baby are just too precious for words. We sure can't risk splitting up that team. :-)

    Laurie

  • cat_mom
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I had tears in my eyes, too as I read your post. I am thrilled beyond words. Give little Dashiell pets for me!

  • livvysmom
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    When my sweet little boy kitty was a kitten I also "lost" him in the house. I actually called my husband home from the golf course. Before he even made it home I turned the corner in the kitchen and there he was. Made me crazy!

    Thankfully, my boy is now pretty scared of the doors so I don't think he'd ever run out (but I never leave them open anyway).

    Your cat is just adorable and is your son!

    Maybe right now with the construction in your house is not the best time to bring home a puppy!

  • joepyeweed
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Glad you find your furbaby!

  • cnvh
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm so glad to hear you had a happy ending!!

    A few years ago, hubby and I renovated an upstairs bathroom, which included ripping out and replacing the existing subfloor. For weeks, there WAS no floor in that room, only floor joists and the first-floor ceiling below. Our two cats each went exploring in between the floors more than once (and coming out filthy as chimney-sweeps)-- so when it came time to close up the floor, we actually put the kitties in their travel crates until the floor was nailed down tight, so that we wouldn't accidentally seal them inside the bowels of the house!

  • rivkadr
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm so glad you found your kitty! That's a scary lesson to learn -- I imagine you'll be carefully locking the cats up from now on ;)

  • northy
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    So glad this came to a happy ending! Adorable photos of your little ones! :)

    We had a scare earlier this year -also due to contractors coming and going in the house and not re-latching doors. We specifically locked our little manx a room no-one would need to go into with a sign on the door KEEP DOOR SHUT. Phh the cable guy opened it looking for the bathroom and didn't give a good tug shut. I should have known our kitty well enough to know he wouldn't dare venture out where 'dangerous' strangers were roaming. He just dug a hole into the boxspring and had a nap ;) Still we had a very long tearful night until he reappeared on our bed.

    laurief, that is an excellent list of what to do the first 24 hours. Wish there was a way to sticky it to the top of the forum.

  • Lily316
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I am so very happy all worked out for you. Somehow I knew she was in your house some where..She's adorable as is your little boy..I had my own situation just now. As I was reading this and happy for you, my cat Annie disappeared. I had plumbers here a week ago and made sure all cats were upstairs as they usually are before I shut the door to the cellar. Their litter boxes mostly are in the basement. I did a quick head count. The plumbing problem wasn't fixed and they had to return today..late as usual They yanked open the double cellar doors w/o telling me. I went and did a quick head count and was missing Annie. We started tearing the house apart. Her mom was sitting on the table where she usually is. Husband asked the guys if they saw a cat and they said no. I was ready to hit the street quickly before dark when Husband found her huddled under the steps in the basement. The doors were wide open to the outside and she was terrified with the rotor rooter machine running. Husband crawled under and grabbed her and I ran her in the house to her mom. She's again hiding but I know she's upstairs here anyway. Her formerly feral mom never gets excited when workers come or anyone else, but her daughter who has been in my house since she was two weeks old w/ her mom is the biggest scary cat in the whole house. Go figure. Anyway ..happy ending for both of us, thank heavens.

  • texaswoman
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My heart sank as I read your first post, and then was soooo happy to read that she has been found. It's amazing the tiny places that they can hide in when they want to.
    We "lost" one many years ago and after hours of searching and crying he comes up walking and stretching like he'd been asleep the whole time. Could have rung his neck for that!!lol
    Your happy ending has made my day.

  • rmkitchen
    Original Author
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I just cannot thank you all enough for your kindness, virtual hand-holding and getting me through this. I guess I've just never lived with cats who hide in tricky spots. Li'l E, one of our "wedding" cats, comes closest because she likes nesting in my husband's underwear and sock drawer, but we can totally spot that tuxedo cat in there! And Dashiell, picking holes in the bedsprings -- we'd look under the bed anyway, so to see a lump there we just figured "oh, there's a cat!" But no cat with which I've ever lived (not just these three, but the twenty or so of my parents and then mine before marriage) has ever been sneaky.

    Today (and still as I write) Dashiell has spent sleeping in the back of my closet (the warmest room in the whole house -- smart cat), with the doors to our bedroom firmly closed. I'm not able to lock the doors from outside, but I wrapped a bungee cord around the handles, just in case any worker couldn't / didn't read the DO NOT OPEN sign. Of course that didn't stop me from obsessively checking on all three girls throughout the day!

    We've decided this will just be what we do every day until this project is done: sequester the girls in our room with the doors as sealed as possible and hoping for the best.

    We knew our puppy would be ready to come home 2/2 so we were v. firm that the remodel had to be completely done by 2/1. Can you tell this is my first remodeling project? We'll be lucky if it's done by the end of February, more likely mid-March. I'm trying to remain sanguine about it: the guys who work here are v. nice, doing beautiful work, and they're making our house our house. But after my melt down last night and now with our newest girl (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel we've named Genki-chan) arriving I'll probably be a freak-out machine!

    Things never work out according to plan, at least not according to my plan. But at least they always work out!

    {{gwi:2008634}}

    I really need to tell you all how grateful I am for sharing your stories with me about your cats who have disappeared only to reappear, acting all nonchalant. You have all made me feel as if I am not alone. But I wonder at your strength, how you could survive that kind of (luckily ephemeral) terror.

    livvysmom, cnvh, northy, lily316 and texaswoman, I got the chills with each of your notes. I mean I really got goosebumps, thinking of what you all went through and completely understanding the elation and incredible relief you felt when your precious babies turned up! lily316 -- I did not mean to bring you and Annie bad luck! I'm just so grateful your husband found her under the stairs ....

    And texaswoman, you put it perfectly about wanting to ring your cat's neck for putting you through all that fear! What on earth can they be thinking? Aargh!

    cnvh, I am going to follow your lead and the day the floor people come I am going to put the girls in their travel crates just to make sure .... Thank you for telling me your story!

    northy, isn't it crazy the way the cats can sleep through our frantic calls, dinging their dishes, running the can opener when we're desperate for them? But any old day, when we're not trying, they're right there underfoot.

    And finally to both cat_mom and laurief, thank you for being so ardent in your support and Laurie's incredible advice. northy is absolutely right -- Laurie's list should be a top-of-the page sticky. Let's face it, it was pure luck on my part that Laurie was online so shortly after I posted my message and that I got to implement her timely advice. I wasn't kidding when I wrote that I printed it out. I hope I'll never need to use it but honestly, better safe than sorry! For me, anyway, to be in that frantic state of mind I'd never have the presence of mind to think of those things. Never. Thank goodness for laurief and all you kind, generous souls!!!

    -Brooke

  • laurief_gw
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Brooke, I'm glad that we were all here to help you through your missing cat episode. I know exactly how you felt last night, because I feel it every time I can't locate one of my 4-legged kids. I live with 14 of the feline beasts, and there are so many places they can hide in this house that it makes me absolutely crazy. I am a chronic worrier, and my mind always jumps to the worst case scenario. If I can't locate one of the cats, I wonder if they've fallen off the edge of the basement stairs and been badly injured, climbed into a piece of furniture and become impaled on a broken spring, are hiding because they are dying of some physical ailment, etc. It's horrible having a brain that is constantly imagining the worst, but it's what I live with.

    It's a heck of a lot easier being levelheaded about someone else's trauma than about my own. I'm not nearly so logical when one of my own animals goes missing. In fact, I'm a mess. I really have to force myself to respond in a rational, productive manner.

    So hold onto that list I typed up last night. I may need you to repost it for me next time one of my own furry kids disappears. I almost certainly won't be able to replicate it under those conditions.

    Laurie

  • Lily316
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I didn't put your name together w/ previous posting you had of getting the Cavelier King Charles Spaniel pup. I answered and told you if I get a new dog, that's the breed I'm thinking of. I am fascinated by them and their sweet personalies, and with your three cats, they must be agreeable to co- habitate w/ felines. Your new addition is adorable. Keep us posted and if she turns out great, I just may have to get one too.