Sounds exactly what I went through with my dog. She was bumping into things, walking into walls, walking around the island 25 times, sleeping all day......but otherwise healthy.(she was also almost 17) I think we are going to have guilt regardless but yes, I still feel she wasn’t “ready” to go and struggle with that a lot—-even 2 years later. My vet—-who cried along with me, told me I was doing the right thing. If I had been retired and able to stay home with her I wouldn’t have put her down. I wanted to wait until her organs started shutting down but my vet told me sometimes they never shut down. So did I do the right thing? I don’t know, but probably yes. It sucks , it really does but she had a wonderful life. Good luck to you ❤️❤️

"However, in spite of all that, he. Is in good health."

Did you read what you posted?

SaltiDawg—you need to cut your nastiness and have some sympathy for the dog owners. And in spite of you thinking you are an authority on all things dog, there is such a thing as canine hydrocephalus ( Down’s syndrome). Please read before you castigate!

I posted earlier about when to decide to put my peekanese to rest. Well last week the signs were clear he needed to rest. It was so hard but know he was ready. I want to thank everyone for their comments. I miss him terribly but he is at peace.

((HU-498295193)). I am glad you were able to release him when you felt he needed it. I hope you find comfort, knowing that you gave him a gift.

Thank you all I have been for days trying to make best decision for my 16 year old shih tzu. Who is totally blind and deaf. Eyes have to be cleaned every day. Sleeps about 20 hours a day. cannot hold his bladder anymore. I think he has dementia because always standing in front of wall and stares. He won’t let any groomer groom without biting them. Never like to be held. Worse now. I finally realized I have been letting him suffer because of what I want not what’s best for him. My husband is doing chemo right now and having a difficult time and I have been second guessing myself because I wanted to make sure I was letting Hooch go for all the right reasons. Thank you one and all.

I have read all of your comments and need some advice. I have a 16 year old teacup chihuahua that is 4.5lbs and has stage 3 IVDD. She isn't completely paralyzed in her rear legs, however she cant really use them. Walking up and down steps are out. She cant control her bladder. She urinates in her bed as well as poops and lays in it. She can be walking in the house and poop will start coming out. I'm so tired of cleaning up urine and poop. She has been such a great baby over the years as well as being housebroken. She whines often and

I'm not sure if its pain or she wants to be picked up. Once I pick her up she is fine but still might whine a little. She still has a great appetite but does drink a lot of water. In her back area its much smaller and her bones are showing. The Vet told me she cant get surgery or her teeth cleaned due to her age. I just don't know what to do. I feel terrible about wanting to put her down. My vet said its nothing else they can do. I have to decide what I want and It will only get worse. I think her hearing is going I call her and she might come or doesn't turn around and I have even caught her walking away from thinking she was walking to me until I came close to her then she looked and turned around, She does have cataracts but not bad. I do wave my hand to her and she knows to come. I'm just torn right now. I really am.

Hi there! Sounds very similar qualities to what my beloved boy was suffering and I assume many others throughout this thread without reading.

I think you already know the answer to your question deep down in your gut. They’ll always be here though! I can still smell, hear and feel my boy at times. It gets easier! Best wishes through this tough time!

PS, I Wrote back in here in 2017 now!

Hello Stacey, thank you for the reply. I might add that his fur appears to be not as full as before and takes longer to grow back. I am thinking it’s because his body can’t absorb nutrients as it should. Let me ask you, what did you end up doing, you said you had similar situation back in 2017.

I am just almost frozen and it’s unusual since making decisions isn’t usually difficult for me. How did you feel leading up to your dog’s death? How did you not second guess or back out?

With us it’s just the thought of driving home and not seeing the little guy there anymore, not hearing him and just knowing he is gone from the earth forever after bringing us so much joy over the years. Just looking at pictures of him from years past in better times makes me upset. What a friend and beloved member of the family he is, just tough to think of the final moment. I don’t even know what to do to spend time with him beforehand.

No joke, I have had actual family members pass away and not felt this much heartache. If it doesn’t cause you pain to rethink it I really would appreciate any insight you can give since you’ve been through it already.

I'm so sorry.

If he can not absorb nutrients, he is starving.

Please do your beloved dog the last loving service you can do for him.

Take him through that final door.

As Sylvia said. Your boy is ready to move his puppy paws into a new life! Of course I felt heartache and did not want to face the music but it was such a peaceful process. I knew I would be selfish to keep him here in pain for my own well-being. In time as I said, grief will ease.

Sylvia, yes I am leaning toward that, but it’s still hard to do. I am not saying that it’s a fact that he isn’t absorbing nutrients, but I am assuming that his hair not growing fast could be that. I stated before that I have gotten him many blood, urine, MRI, X-ray testing and it yielded no issues. I even got an endoscopy performed on the little guy, no abnormalities in intestines or the digestive system that was viewed by a vet. I even got a second opinion from another vet who performed a second endoscopy. Same result.

This overall kind of makes me conclude that it’s all just due to old age. I agree with you though, he is likely starving to an extent despite intake of food, thank you for giving me that perspective about it. That kind of eases me about what decision I may soon have to make.

I appreciate everyone’s feedback about this, the more the better so I can see the situation from different angles. Thanks again, it’s helpful for sure. Just wish there was more that I could do. I keep thinking ...what if I do this, or do that, or maybe if I try this or that. I suppose that’s all wishful fools thinking.

This is going to sound harsh.........and I don't mean it to be. But you have stop thinking about YOU and how you will handle your pet's passing and focus on HIM. It's time......very likely past time. 16 and 1/2 years is a long life for most dogs and if even in previously good health, things start declining and breaking down, just as they do with humans who live to an old age. Blindness, deafness, incontinence, lack of appetite and general disinterest are all signs that your pup's quality of life has diminished to the point where he is just holding on. He is actually telling you it is time to let go.

I have been through this same process more times than I care to remember with beloved pets over the years. And it never gets any easier. You just need to forget about yourself and how you are going to handle it - you will, as do we all when someone we love passes - and focus on this last act of love you can do for your dog. My experience with my vets at these times has been exceptional. They understand better than most the bonds we have with our pets and how hard it is to let go. My experience has been that they are very sensitive to the owners' feelings and approach the issue with diginity and compassion. I have always been present when my dogs were put down and held them and talked to them and loved them as they drifted off. And then was allowed time to grieve in private.

The ride home IS awful. There is no way to get around that. Plan something diverting for the rest of your day - a drive in the country, a walk in the woods, take in a movie. It will get better.

The best way to get over it is to know in your heart that you have done the last best thing you could do for your pet to show your love. That should provide you much solice and ease some of the pain. Time will do the rest.

@Gardengal48, How am I thinking of myself? If I was at any point just thinking of myself I don’t think I would spend anywhere near the amount of money, time and effort to take him to get all these tests done (some multiple times) and to so many vets for 2nd 3rd and 4th opinion. (If you don’t have a clue how much all the tests or visits are , next time you go to the vet just ask and then see if you are willing and able to pay for them twice) I think if I was just thinking about ME, I would have thought to myself "hey I could use all that money for myself", but that wasn’t and never will be the case with me.

You don’t see how many times I have changed his bedding in one day or how many baths in just 1 day I gave him in order for him to not have his urine on his own body then blow dried him. Or how many times I scrubbed the floor after he had an accident. I didn’t whine about it, I just cleaned it and I could see he felt rather embarrassed or guilty looking so I let him know that I understand it’s due to his age just so he didn’t think he was being "bad".

I don’t even swim or like getting in the pool, but you don’t see that we get in the pool with him and let him paddle around just to let him get exercise without having his leg joint hurt like it might after walking for 20 min.

Also I don’t think that I would set my alarm nightly to beep loudly every 2 1/2 hours in order to accommodate my little guy's sporadic bowel movements. I would think "geez I have a business to run and don’t have time for this" but that is not the case with me, nor will it ever be. So for that you are mistaken bigtime.

You don’t see the tears I shed for him, this is my friend and family member (child really). His needs always come before mine, even now, that is why I am so torn on what to do and seeking advice on here, yet all you do is come on here and accuse me of being selfish. As with other people on this thread there are many moving parts and factors that they may have not included initially that you dont see.

Good job, way to try and tear someone down who is just on a thread asking for advice from others who may have endured similar circumstances and can relate a bit.

" I am just almost frozen and it’s unusual since making decisions isn’t usually difficult for me. How did you feel leading up to your dog’s death? How did you not second guess or back out?

With us it’s just the thought of driving home and not seeing the little guy there anymore, not hearing him and just knowing he is gone from the earth forever after bringing us so much joy over the years. Just looking at pictures of him from years past in better times makes me upset. What a friend and beloved member of the family he is, just tough to think of the final moment. I don’t even know what to do to spend time with him beforehand.

No joke, I have had actual family members pass away and not felt this much heartache. If it doesn’t cause you pain to rethink it I really would appreciate any insight you can give since you’ve been through it already."

These are the remarks you made that lead to me to make my comments. I'm sorry if you found them offensive, but it would seem that you were more focused on how putting down your pet would impact you and how you should or could deal with it rather than accepting that it was time (or past time) to do so in your pet's best interest and just dealing with it.

If I misinterpreted you comments, I apologize. But you say that " His needs always come before mine, even now" and yet your actions - or lack of action - is saying the opposite. Yes, you are being selfish.

Mrs. Hammonds, the mother of my best friend all through Junior High and High School, was a tremendously kind-hearted animal lover.

She had an ancient dog named King, who had lost the use of his legs.

He could only lie on his belly, and she had to take him out numerous times every day for what she called bathroom breaks.

Then she had to wash his belly and his backside, then carry him back inside.

She kept that for a couple of years, and finally, mercifully, finally had him put to sleep.

Years later, it's still bothered her.

She said to me one day, "Sylvia I was not good to King. I kept him long after I should have let him go, because I could not bear to think of letting him go."

That was in the mid-60s, and I still remember it.

She was haunted by guilt for what she had put her beloved dog through.

Please don't do that to your dog.

You will get over feeling bad because he is gone.

You will never get over feeling bad because you tethered him to this life long after you should have let him go.

At some point, and your dog has passed this point, all the care in the world will not prolong his life.

It will just prolong his death. .

I wish you both the best.

HU, please don't take offense at these people...they read your post and are trying to help you. Honestly, I was thinking the same thing as Gardengal. She was being as tactful as she could, and she's only considering the words you wrote. It doesn't mean that there's a "right" answer or a "wrong" answer to your situation. But like her, and also like Sylvia's friend's mom, I too once waited too long to ease an animal out of its suffering, because, well, I was 15 and lacking experience and judgment. But I like to believe that the suffering of that animal was NOT in vain. I learned a life lesson about how we, the owners, are in charge of the decision, and that we DO have the power to ease the suffering. We do. And now when I look back at the various dogs, cats, horses, hamster, etc, that have passed through my life, I feel really good about how their end stages were cared for with mercy, tenderness, love, and respect.

Oh, it's still hard. Believe me, I'm tearing up writing this. I dread the day, I dread the aftermath, I dread pets suffering disease and disability and pain. I dread my own tears and suffering. I wrestle with the decision. But one thing I do not regret is any decision I have made for an animal's last day, since that first horse when I was 15. And that is how I pay it forward. Just because I dread something, doesn't mean I'm not capable of doing it. I dread it, and then I do it anyway. I think it has been part of my growth as a human. I hope you can take some of what people are saying, and listen to their perspective without being offended.

That is why I came on here to begin with because I was already on the edge of doing it and just wanted impartial advice instead of going to another money grubbing vet who just wants to take more tests.

I appreciate most of the comments but to say I am "selfish" is disgusting and pathetic. I am anything but selfish not only with my dog but people in my life in general. So YES I am going to defend my character against an attack. I get that you don’t know me so there is no way of knowing I am not selfish, but assuming I am selfish isn’t right.

YES I have emotional attachment to a life I have shared for 16 years full of great memories and love, YES I am upset, YES I find it hard to let go, but from a logical perspective I know it’s time. It’s just like some people on here likely have experienced, your brain and your heart are telling you 2 different things. Your logical brain is telling you its time, your heart doesn’t want to let go. YES I am human.

This isn’t about me, it’s about a life, a life I cherish and that is why I had difficulty making that final decision and then backed out before. Now I am on the edge about it and to tell you the truth Sylvia Gordon and Stacey Pamela really helped me realize things like I was hoping to. Their kind non judgemental words meant a lot as I read them. Thank you, you seem like very caring people and I deeply appreciate you taking time out of your day to help me out with my struggle.

HU, it is about you if you can't see that the best thing is to ease your old and suffering dog from this life to the next. He has no knowledge or fear of death. Only humans do. You have done everything humanly possible for your friend and now you need to give him the final gift of letting him go peacefully and painlessly. It is hard to think of their passing but better to know you relieved his pain than to prolong it. Animals hide their pain. It has nothing to do with the cost. Your dog is beyond helping to live a life worth living. Give him a hug and a kiss and let him go. You will mourn for him but you should take comfort in knowing that you helped him when he needed you most. Good luck.

Well, thanks to all the people who had something constructive to say to the others pretending I am "selfish" you must not know the meaning of the word. I am anything but selfish when it comes to my family (dog and otherwise).

You can sit there and act like you are the supreme judge of other people's character, but you are the kind of people who are just lifelong manipulators and get by on trying to point out others perceived flaws in order to hide your own.

Please enlighten us all on what it’s like to be such a selfless perfect person such as yourself…enlighten us flawed peasants who are beneath you on what being a supreme human is like. Congratulations...great job! Where can I send your award?

HU-762618162, these people are not bashing you or lashing out at you because they don't care. on the contrary, they care very much. if you read back through this thread, i have made comments about my own experiences with euthanizing a beloved dog and my feelings about "too soon vs. too late". one of my most important considerations in making this decision is to think about the dignity of my pet which, for me, is a HUGE part of "quality of life".

i have been chastised more than once for doing it when others considered it was "too soon". to my way of thinking, i do not see the point in letting a dog get to the point where it can't walk, is soiling itself numerous times a day, has no interest in food and spends most of a 24 hour period sleeping.

i'm sure some people will think this is a ridiculous comparison but none of the things that determine a good quality of life brought more realization to me than while i watched the love of my life, the man i thought i would grow old with, suffer through 21 months while cancer riddled his body and took every shred of dignity he ever had away. i had enough morphine on my kitchen counter to kill 20 men and i was always thankful that gary never asked me to end his suffering. i don't know if i could have done it but i also don't know if i could have denied him that release from a life of pain, no dignity, and absolutely no hope.

i CAN give this comfort to an animal and i WILL do it before it ever gets to the point where dignity is gone. that doesn't mean i love them less or that i don't wish they could live forever. it means i love them with all my heart and i am realistic as to their life span vs. my own (this is truer than most since i have great danes).

i am so very sorry you are faced with this decision but as so many have said, myself included, this is the last act of love and kindness you can show your dog, the dog who has comforted you in your own hard times for 16 years.

death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves the memories no one can steal.

It is old age; his body is slowly shutting down. Medical workers see the same in humans -- even when there is no particular disease to point to as the cause -- eating doesn't build the body up anymore, systems continue to decline, and there is no test or procedure that will find something that can be fixed, nor any medication, supplement or food that will fix or slow the process.

It is nature's way. We don't like it, it makes us sad and uncomfortable to think about or face it, but it will always be nature's way.

I think that with our love and care we extend our pet's lives beyond their usual lifespan, then we drag the dying process out for our loved pets and perhaps cause them more discomfort than they would have otherwise. No animal likes to soil themselves, for example. They may be having pain, but not showing it. If they have dementia, they may be suffering in a world of confusion and perhaps fear (as humans often do). Deaf and blind, and unable to assess what is happening around them.

Euthanasia for our pet may seem unnatural but is it really any more unnatural than living the life of many pets -- eating kibble, having a short walk only once or twice a day, staying indoors, no hunting, no pack...... much less the way they are existing when their people come here to ask what to do?

Our little boy was 16.5 yrs when he passed. The last year he wore belly bands. He started sleeping almost all day, but in no pain. Out of town my husband tells me he was breathing shallow. We knew his time had come, but he was waiting for me. I had a dr. appt. But scooped him up and took him with me. If dr. did not understand, that wasn't the dr. for me. In my arms just minutes from home he took one last big breath as i was driving.

Had we put him down before, just because it might've been more convenient, that would have been an injustice to us both. Being old, sleeping, wearing doggy depends is not cause enough.

Now 5.5 years later our little girl, who is toy is going through same situation. Vet says she is one of healthiest 16.5yr old dogs ever. Not one single health issue. Yet we are doing the doggy diapers, as she goes out, forgets if she did anything, or just can't wait, etc...

Our health hasn't improved, she is twice the weight of little boy. With ine arm in sling after surgery, and opposite hand in brace after different surgery, I can remove diapers, but not replace. So there are times when she has accidents before my husband can be there to re-diaper her. She has such a look of shame when she wets her diaper, but when she realizes we understand she calms down.

Is she anywhere near ready to be put down? No, we see no reason to. Is it inconveinent, yes, but that's not good reason. But is it fair for the large dogs with lot of fur, that gets matted, soiled, dirty, etc.... Is it fair for elderly frail humans struggling with frail dogs where neither can enjoy each other's lives? Who can be the judge of that, if they are not in that situation?

When you look in their eyes, they will let you know. I have had to put down my share of animals when they got to that point, and it hurts. But it's going to hurt at any time, don't make dog suffer because you don't want hurt.

When it's time, you will know and let no one judge you for your decision if it's done for right reasons.

My dog is 17 in October and reading the first message about wjsmall dog back in 2014

My dog is experiencing the same problems....she is falling over a lot also.

Every morning iI have to clear up wee and poo and wash her blankets as she trampled poo over them.....this has gone on for a week..

I feel the time has come to let her go....

Just struggling with actually making that decision!!

I'm sorry Vanessa, it's hard. The whole thing is very difficult. Taking care of their failing bodies, dreading the vet visit, hoping you're doing the right thing. I know.

Being a nurse and seeing people who are in pain, almost deaf, blind and incontinent, I think of it this way-- would I want to hang on if I were in that situation? I would like to meet my maker at that point and I would definitely put my dogs down when they come to that. I have a 16 year old chihuahua and I know the time is drawing near. It makes me sad but I think it will be for the best.

this comes to you all 5 years after the 1st post. my 18 year old dog has begun to pace constantly. waiting at the patio doors to be let out. hes also waking me in the night either urinating or the other in my room. He's also doing his business all over the house and getting confused by putting himself in corners and staring at walls. i too waited for my other dog to get to a stage of fitting for the last 3 days of her life at the age of 17 before putting her down. Im at the stage of not waiting for him to get worse. im also faced with the opinion of 3 other members of my family as my max is still quite all there although hes deaf and struggling with his vision . I value your fead back

Hi @collyetty. I'm so sorry that your Max is not doing so well, and I hope that this thread has helped you. It helped me when I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago.

From your description, it doesn't sound like Max is actually still all there. Deaf and blind dogs with no other issues do not get stuck in corners. We had a dog get like that when I was a kid. She was having accidents all over the house, she would get stuck in corners, she'd get lost when she went outside, she'd get lost inside the house, and eventually, my parents had her living in a playpen. She was frightened all the time. To me, that is no way to live, confused and frightened.

Pacing can also be a sign of distress and pain. Have you spoken to the vet about any of this? Maybe he would benefit from pain medication or joint medication, maybe he has a urinary tract infection, maybe he's diabetic. Maybe there are medical issues that you could treat, but he's also 18 years old, so in that instance, what does "better" actually look like? A vet would be better able to tell you about what you're looking at from a medical perspective, and what his prognosis is.

Ultimately, this is not a decision anyone can make for you, and it's such an impossibly hard and painful one, but my personal philosophy is that it's better to send them over the rainbow bridge a little too early than a little too late. To me, it sounds like he's pretty much at that point, but, again, if you haven't already seen a vet with him, you should before making any decisions.

Good luck, and hang in there. None of this is easy, and I wish peace and comfort for you as you make your decision.

Sarah

It time to say goodbye to our 15 year old girl. Her quality of life isn't good, she is no longer housebroken, and has little interest in having fun. She is also in pain.

Coda is my first dog. My ex rescued her when she was only 3 weeks old. My heart is breaking, but I will honor her the way she has been there for me. Coda would not let me suffer. Thank you for listening. I hope I am doing the right thing.

I wrote in August about our elderly dog....well we got to 2nd November and finally decided to take her to the vets,who took one look at her,then to my husband,before saying "it's time." Heart broken of course,but so glad we got to love her for 17 years.

Our three grown up daughters presented us with money for three quarters of the vets and cremation cost...God bless them.and one had a star named after her.

When the bluebells flower in the woods where we took her for walks,we shall sprinkle her star dust and remember our sweet girl Ruby Pearl Robinson.

Thoughts go to all of you who are currently going through what we did only a few months ago.

You'll know when it's time,trust me.

Vanessa Robinson...So sorry, but take comfort in knowing you did the right thing. I absolutely love that your daughter had a star named after her. What a beautiful idea!

I too am struggling with the decision to end my boy's life at 15.5! He has lost the use of his rear legs, no problem, I have a great harness and walk him which he seems to be fine with! Over the past week he has become incontinent, both types, again I find a solution with diapers! He seems happy enough and is still going for his walks, eating up a storm and drinking. I often catch him laughing like he always has - I do not think he's in distress. The problem is I can't look after him like this full-time as I must go back to work next week. I can't put him down because of such a selfish reason though. What on earth do I do. I will be racked with guilt forever.

I’m so sorry that you‘re facing this question! It’s such a hard thing. Have you talked to your vet? What did they say?

I don’t think it would be selfish if you end up having to put your sweet boy to sleep because you can’t keep up with his care while working. Unless the vet has a solution, your dog’s reality while you’re away from the house will be that he’s stuck in one place unless he drags himself. He won’t be able to even get a drink of water easily. And by the time you get home, he’ll be wearing a dirty diaper, and you’ll have to wash him every day. You would be sparing him that. Unless you’re independently wealthy, you can’t quit your job to become your dog’s full time care, and there’s nothing selfish about that.

It sounds to me like there’s something going on with his spine. I don’t think you should make this decision without talking to your vet. But if the outcome is that it’s his time to be put to sleep, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You obviously love him and have worked hard to care for him. I think that it’s better to put a dog to sleep a little early when they’re not miserable, than too late when they‘re suffering.

Hang in there!!

I’m just crying reading this thread. NOBODY can tell you how you’re gonna feel when “it’s time”. It’s worse than anything I’ve ever felt, having to make that decision. It’s gut wrenching, pure and simple. I put my beautiful shih tzu baby down in December, she had cancer and was going downhill fast, doctor said it was only a matter of time and I didn’t want to see her suffer at all, yet, felt like if she was still eating she might be ok, right? But no, I made the decision. I regretted it after, many times crying in my bed about it, but it was 100% the right decision. I called a home vet hospice service so she could be in my arms at her home where she was most comfortable, and it was the best experience I could possibly imagine for her (and us). I highly recommend that service. Good luck to you, I can’t say it gets any easier but with time comes healing.

@Sarah, we think he has DM so I am not sure putting him through any tests would be advantageous. He has been wobbly on only 1 back leg for 2 years now, so it makes sense. He is a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever so 15.5 is a very good age, they normally state 12-14 years at best. Thank you for your kind words, I am just taking it day by day.

Hi Prue, I think you’re totally right that a bunch of tests aren’t the way forward. I just wondered what your vet thinks of the situation. It really helped me when my vet told me that it was absolutely a valid moment to put my cat - and later my dog - to sleep, if I was ready, because they would only get worse. I trust my vet, and I know she wouldn’t have said that if she thought it was too soon. It helped me to feel less guilty and to feel confident that I was making a kind decision. You obviously love your dog very much, so whenever you decide it’s time, you can be sure you made the decision out of love and not expediency.

It is heart wrenching to read all these posts of old dogs and ending their lives. I, too, am faced with that decision as I have a almost 15 years old Yorke-poo who is basically a "walking" vegetable. He started relieving himself at home, he gets confused when let outside, gets lost, can't see hardly at all is almost deaf and he paces while whining. Currently he is on opioids and anti-anxiety as he also has a hard time breathing. My vet said to treat him as a hospice patient, but that it is ok to put him down. I just have a such a hard time making that decision as he gets so excited to eat! He eats a lot for a dog his size, but some days my other dog finishes his food. I hate to see him like that, but I don't really know when the right time is. Am I being selfish or are we just given one life to live and we should honor that life. I like the idea of calling a hospice vet to the house so he can be comfortable, but I am waiting to have the courage. How do people really know???

It sounds to me like it’s time, but of course only you can make that decision. Is he having any fun besides sometimes when he eats? Vets don’t tell people it’s okay to put a dog to sleep if that dog is doing well or could recover. Trust your vet. You’re not being selfish, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You love your dog. This is such a hard decision, and dogs can’t tell us when they’re ready. We have to choose for them. It‘s the final kindness we can give them. I‘ve read that euthanasia is nearly always better for pets than a natural death because natural deaths are so often uncomfortable or scary for them. You might not be home when it happens, some body process might fail painfully, he might become confused. Home services are wonderful - I’ve used them. Your dog gets to be with you in his home at the end, and you can take as much time as you need to say goodbye. They talk you through everything and you can share memories with them.

I wish for you to have peace while you decide what to do. It’s the hardest part of having pets. But whatever decision you make will be made with love.

Any decision you make with the best interests of your pet at heart cannot be a wrong decision. My only recommendation is that you be with your dog at the end. I regretted not being there with my first dog and was relieved to have been with the second dog. It was closure, my baby felt safe because I was there, and we got to spend the last moments of her life together.

I knew it was time the day I called the hospice. She was just different that day. Animals know as well, she was never and I mean never a lap sitter and that day she got into my lap and was just staring at me, like “mommy I’m in pain” and I just knew I had to call. 😭 It took a lot of courage to make the call and I was balling crying during it, could barely talk. As I said, hardest thing I ever had to do. And mine was still eating too. But she was in pain and I could tell. Still fresh in my mind. I think you’ll know!

Okay I need help. I have a 14 year old American Cocker Spaniel. He is not able to see, bumps into things, has arthritis, uses a ramp to clim on the bed, sleeps more than he is awake, he also pees everywhere in the house. He even pees in his bed at night. I also have him in doggie wraps and sometimes doggie Diapers but he Pees through them. I took him to the vet and he ran tests and found nothing wrong. Is it time to put him down? One minute I say yes and then change my mind. Please help me make a decision.

It is so hard to decide and even harder for some stranger on the internet to advise you. Think about this though - do you think he is enjoying his life now, or just hanging on because of your good care (and you hanging on to him out of love )?

Doggie Diapers. Our 16 year old wears them in the house. Costly but worth it.

This thread is bittersweet. Comforting to know so many others have struggled with “the right time”. I don’t know if anyone will read this, but I think typing this all out will help.

I begged to get Luna for my 14th birthday and with my grandma’s help, my mom finally agreed. I had a chaotic upbringing/family and Luna often was my only source of peace in the darkest times. She is a very special dog and many people have said she’s a once in a lifetime type (you know the kind, naturally didn’t need a leash, very docile and sweet).

She’s had arthritis for years and I’ve had her on prescription food and pain/joint meds for years. I’ve always been attentive of her health and was a vet tech for a few years so pet health is nothing new to me. Neither is euthanasia.

This year, she lost weight, developed dementia, and started having accidents inside. I take her out multiple times a day (at least 6). She likes walks, but gets confused in the yard. I’ve noticed she also cranes her neck a lot. She also licks the carpet or her bed obsessively at times. The last two weeks, she’s had accidents inside almost everyday.

We celebrated her 16th birthday on Monday. She couldn’t get up on Tuesday night and was really wobbly this week. I can see her front legs are also starting to shake. When she greets me, she wags her tail low and close to her legs. I don’t want to bump up her meds again because she sleeps all day anyways. When I look into her eyes, I can tell she’s tired.

I thought maybe we could celebrate Christmas one more time. But maybe the best gift I can give her is peace…like she’s given me so many times. I don’t know if it’s the right time, but I don’t want her to reach that final stage (not getting up, seizures, crying/barking out of confusion/distress, etc). I am struggling with depression and the sadness I feel thinking about it all is heavy, but I am so grateful for this soul that showed me unconditional love and light.

I’m so sorry that your sweet girl’s journey with you is coming to an end. If one last Christmas is important to you, and you don’t think she can wait that long, maybe you could do Chritmas with her early? It can be any day you want. Put on your favorite holiday music, put up the decorations, make a festive breakfast, wrap some gifts for her. Let her eat whatever she wants from the festive breakfast or anything she likes. Take some pictures of you and her in holiday sweaters. Do whatever traditions are special to you. And then maybe it’s time for her to go.

You clearly love each other so much, and I’m so sorry for the pain that is heading your way. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and your depression as much as you can, and that you have loved ones around you that can help you through this.

Thank you @Sarah. That is an amazing idea. I appreciate your input and kindness. Dogs are so amazing and empathetic. If the situation were reversed, I don’t think they would let us suffer.

I took her to the vet and he said that her time is soon and to do it sooner rather than later. He said she lost a lot of muscle mass and while we can manage pain, nothing can be done about her muscles which will continue to deteriorate until she can no longer stand. I have not stopped crying since the appointment. I am trying my best to stop because I want our last moments to be remembered with smiles and laughter. I can cry after. She will always be my moon.

same situation exactly with our 15 yr old dog, the pooping in the home is driving me crazy, I can't have anyone here, I had to pick up all my rugs, he is suffering from arthrities and has difficulty getting up and lying down, but does enjoy my other dog and loves to be with us.. but this pooping in the home is gross and it is driving me nuts, I say that my dog doesn't want to live this way, pooping and trying to get comfortable but I feel so gulity.

Hi, I'm in a very similar situation. My jack russell is 14 and has dementia, he's getting stuck multiple times a day, forgot his commands, falling off the bed/stairs, pacing throughout the day/night and he's just started peeing inside, not pooping however. He's also going blind and deaf.

Physically he's still very able, can walk and jump. He's eating his food but that's all he seems to care about lately. He still enjoys the odd cuddles and kisses which is very sweet.

The vet told me it's down to me to decide if it's time to let him go. I think I'd feel guilty as he's physically able but mentally/emotionally I'd hate for him to be suffering 😞

Does anyone have any advice?

Dewi, all I can say is that your situation sounds soooo hard. Recently our 14 year old dog had developed a mouth tumor. It felt like such a devastating loss, as she was still eager to chase a ball (though it made the tumor bleed, so we had to minimize her favorite activity). She wanted pets and cuddles and seemed her normal self, but her ability to eat food declined. It was that one thing, the untreatable mouth tumor, in an otherwise seeminly healthy, active, loving, young-for-her-age dog that made us have to make that difficult decision. I do think it was the right decision! We pursued all reasonable options for making her more comfortable. We tried injecting food into her mouth, which she hated. She couldn't eat soft/canned food.

Here's what we realized: she is not going to get better, only worse. When I look back on her final month or two, I don't think it mattered which day we chose to put her to sleep. This day? Next Saturday? Wait to see how she's doing in a couple weeks? In the end, the totality of her life and wonderful personality and her memorable impact on our family was intact, no matter which day we chose. We chose not to let her decline any more than she already had.

I don't know if this situation applies to your situation. I'm only sharing it to help you think about the totality of your dog's life, and that your love for your dog will endure no matter which day your choose to relieve him of suffering. It is a process, for sure. Very, very difficult. I'm sorry you're facing this.

Dewi, his physical abilities are really not the only important factor, but you do say that he is falling and that is not good, and I bet not pleasant for him. Neither is peeing in the house (breaking his training - he doesn't want to!) Dementia in a human is often an unpleasant experience for the sufferer, and I would guess just as much so for a dog or cat. So please take that into your decision making.

Remember, with our good care we do keep our pets in good condition, but sometimes also in chronic illness, pain, loss of bodily control ... for what is often well beyond their normal life span. It seems to me that "good care" can, and should, include letting go when that outcome has arrived, without thought of our loss and without guilt.

My best to you. We reached that stage with our beloved dog last Thanksgiving. We could tell he was fading, but like the poster above, we hoped that he could experience one more autumn and one more snowfall (he loved fallen leaves, and snow). But, when the leaves finally fell, he was really unable to take the walks to enjoy them, and we knew it was time. He knew too, and he went to sleep peacefully to join his life with the universe.