Pn: you assume I am willing to take a very large financial risk ffrom wich I could never recover if it went south :) Your idea has crossed my mind though; maybe, if my banker and I could agree on a piece of land he wouldn't mind owning if I couldn't sell it we'd be able to deal. I already live in the middle of commercial ag but in a very small town, there is an elevator 2 blocks away and a spray service 2 blocks away also. Right now there are combines, grain carts and semi trailers hauling grain parked in town and going to and through it. My neighbor is a custom harvester. The mad dash is on to get all the corn, soybeans and milo harvested as well as the winter wheat planted. Yep, anhydrous is used here on corn, it is knifed in under ground. Being a gas at atmospheric pressure, it wouldn't do any good to try and pour it anywhere, knives work very well if the soil has the right amount of moisture in it. Nacyjane: there isn't really any empty land around here unless you count the creek bottoms, everything is in crop production in this county and every county around it and more. Happyday: good point, I suspect there are no zoning restrictions on subdividing within the county. On a less serious note, I don't think there are any laws in the county at all, 1 sheriff and 3 deputies to cover 24/7/365. what do you think? You can not pay your property taxes for in excess of 5 years and not have to worry about the county auctioning off your property.

I presume there's a reason why this child is in fulltime daycare? You and your husband both work? Any chance one of you could change their schedule so the need for putting your child in daycare would be reduced? I'm all for children socializing with others, but truly, NO ONE teaches or cares for a child like a parent does. You're seeing that now. Children of that age do need a lot of time with their parents. As to naptime--your child must need the sleep or he wouldn't be napping so long. You say bedtime is a challenge. As a parent, and a family living teacher, I have to ask--do you know what the most common reason for difficult bedtimes is? It's that the child is OVERtired. what a lot of young parents don't understand is how a child's body works. When we get tired, we wind down and get sleepy. When toddlers get tired, their bodies release loads and loads of extra adrenalin--hence you have a hyper child who is too wired to go to sleep. There has even been a very reputable study that shows that many (not all, mind you, but about half) the cases of ADHD in children are NOT legitimate ADHD, but simply lack of adequate sleep. Does your child get a full 12 hours of sleep daily (adding up the naptime and bedtime?) Even if he is, it's possible he's one of those who truly does need a little more sleep than 'average'. However, what you're describing about the daycare is totally unacceptable. You're describing a facility where the workers don't care about the child or parents, where they're there just putting in time to collect a paycheck, where they're happy doing as little as possible (a sleeping child is one they don't have to: care for, amuse, watch, etc). The problems you've noticed all come down to the same thing--the daycare workers DO NOT WANT to do their job. I wouldn't allow someone with that attitude to dogsit my pet, let alone care for the most precious thing in my life. It may be time to look into other alternatives--as I suggested, perhaps a schedule change at work. Or maybe there's a family member you trust who would be glad to watch your child for the same $$$ you're paying the daycare. Or you may have to go further afield and find a different daycare center (even if you have to drive some to get there) or a retired person in your neighborhood who is more responsible than the place you're currently using. Good luck! You mentioned your husband--if you are both working, I urge you to sit down and crunch the numbers. Unless you're a really high-end executive, or in some other high paying job, you may find, when you do the math, that you're going to work for just a few cents an hour. Add up: the cost of daycare, the higher taxes you pay, the cost of transportation, the cost of going to work (clothes, union dues, buying lunches out, work parties, gifts for coworkers, etc), the cost of being out of the house hours a day (buying more takeout/prepared foods, hiring others to do stuff around the house like yard work, painting, repairs, etc). When I got pregnant, we did the calculations--and we figured that I'd be going to work for $2000/year or less. Add to that, the fact that you're turning the care and raising of your child over to strangers--it wasn't worth it to us. It made sense financially for me to stay home. It made even more sense to use for me to be the one caring for our daughter, teaching her academically, being the one to educate her in morals and ethics--no one does all that like a fulltime mom. There's a reason why this country is having a lot of the problems it is (crime, irresponsibility, unwed parents, abusive relationships), and IMO, a big part of that is that children are NOT being raised by their parents, the way they have been in the past. Good luck

I trust your daughter has found day care by now....this post needs to move down.

Clare, the hardest decision we have ever had to make in our life. Our decision is the right one for our son. No ands ifs or buts about it. If you go to the blog and read it, back for the couple of months we have been writing it, it is all there. Our son was running away about 5 nights a week as he had such a lack of communication. He was not safe. His fits of rage were dangerous for himself and for our 3 year old daughter. I don't want to see either of them to get hurt unintentionally. Our son's vineland test revealed that he was a three to five year in living skills in many areas, which also left him in some very scary situations. Him living in a home forever is most likely not going to happen. That is why it is called a transitioning home. A home preparing him to come home. He also started to harm himself because of frustrations. The assisted living is there to teach him some vocational training and also to teach him some living skills. Sometimes when such bad things happen and it is super scary, you can't go with your mothering instinct and be selfish to keep your child in your home for your own peace of mind. You have to do what is best for his/her health and well being. That is what we have had to do. Believe me it wasn't, isn't easy. I was out of work for months with depression and anxiety over it... lost a ton of sleep and a ton of weight. It hasn't been this rosy picture of we don't have to worry about it now. It is quite the other scale to be honest. We worry about him when he gets hurt, and we can't be there to comfort him. We worry if he is getting things to eat that are his favorite. We worry that he won't hear us say we love him near as much as we usually say. Each case of autism is different. I am glad as it seems that your son's must not be to the extent. I am glad as I hate to see others go through this. All of our friends and family see a huge difference in him since he is getting the help he needs with intense therapy and med regulation. I am also a mom that works full time as well does my husband and our son can't be unattended as his case is severe enough it is not healthy for him. Our neighbor is a therapist that works with autistic children also and she has a million times over come over to tell us how much of a change she sees in our son and we did the best thing for him. Thanks for asking. The blog has a lot of information on it. Here is a link that might be useful: Our journey through autism