Outsmarting the tree rats (squirrels) around my house is a full time job. This past spring I hit on a new idea. When I plant a container I invert an empty wire hanging basket over the container and the plant gets sun and can be watered but the squirrels can't dig in it. Another idea: I bring in a lot of plants to "over winter" under lights in my garage. I have so many that it is hard to reach my hand under the lights (4 shop lights) to the middle for watering. So I bought a pump sprayer with a long wand and it works great! In late winter I add a little liquid Dawn detergent, few drops, to each gallon of water and not only does the soil get wet easier but the worms that are waiting to hatch into distructive pets just don't hatch. Don't know what it costs me to run those four shop lights all winter but I don't care. It is a small price to pay to be able to "garden" every weekend in the garage. Many people have mentioned that they mark their outdoor plants with a "permanent Sharpie". In my experience there isn't a "permanent Sharpie", they all fade and quickly too. A grease pencil/china marker or expensive "no fade" garden center marker are the only markers I have found that won't disappoint you by fading. Eight years ago I decided to learn about gardening so I tapped into my local library. I checked out nearly every book they had on gardening and learned so much. The Gardenweb forums are also a wealth of information and entertainment. There is always something new to learn and I appreciate all of you who take the time to write in your ideas. One last idea from me...I keep a small notebook on my computer table and jot down any idea I find that's new and I will want to try. Little pieces of paper get lost but I always know where my notebook is and also use it when I order "on line" so I will remember the name of the company and the order date. Tina or Trowelgal

I have just read this thread and it has brought a lot of things in my own life into focus. And maybe some of that can help you see this in a different light, too. My own situation in my first marriage was similar in many ways to yours (except that my ex never cooked!!). But I was the wife so maybe I can offer some insight on that side. You began by telling us some very positive things about yourself - how much you make, that you are an excellent cook, etc. I get the impression that you have a pretty high opinion of yourself. And that is good! Good for you. I believe that self esteem (an overworked term for sure) comes from an honest sense of accomplishment. I'm not a great fan of the idea that constant praise works to build a person's self esteem...the person has to come to believe it through achievement. I'm glad you have that and what I'm going to say is not meant to attack or undermine that...only to suggest a different point of view. Now think of your wife's situation. She did get her degree (but you take a bit of the credit, don't you?) and then worked part time (at a salary that you specifically point out was WAY below what you make). She quit and you didn't even care. Well, that could mean you are just a real nice guy. Or it could mean that her efforts were unnecessary or pointless. (I would bet she took it that way.) Now she is a mother. And I don't care what they used to say about motherhood...nowadays it is a pretty thankless task. You don't get a lot of recognition (think: "JUST a housewife"). And it's also pretty hard to get a sense of accomplishment from it. You do the daily stuff...and it all has to be done over tomorrow - or later today. And all the while you get to wonder and worry about whether you are doing it right: whether your child will grow up without being traumatized by your best efforts (there is no owners manual) and whatever the outcome...it is years in the future! Motherhood is NOT the path to self esteem. Your wife also has her mother right by her side. That could be a fantastic source of help. But it is more likely a source of self doubt and questioning. It is awfully hard for a mother to be a cheering section for her child raising a child without ever suggesting (even subtly) that mistakes are being made. Alright...you have a woman who probably had a shaky self image to start with and she is living with a parent (more or less supportive OR critical) and a husband (pretty doggone sure he is doing/being the best he can) and an infant (who cries for mysterious reasons, scares the living daylights out of any thinking person, and is a source of endless - sleepless - WORK and worry). The fact that your wife objects to immunizations (and I don't agree with that stance) shows that she is seriously worried about doing this right. So she throws herself into cleaning. Is that surprising? It shouldn't be. What else has she got to do that might leave a mark? She obsesses about the one area of her work that is on display, that can be accomplished to some sort of completion, that someone might actually notice and acknowledge. There may even be an element of self defense in her cleaning - she may have reached the point of doubting her own worth to the extent that she feels she must PROVE how hard she works. I've done it myself (within the last week!) but it doesn't work well. Because this one thing that she is trying so hard to do right is dismissed as unimportant...easily jobbed out to a stranger...or just ignored and left undone! No wonder the poor woman shrieks from time to time. I think it is particularly telling that the two of you have a great deal of friction about whether or not YOU clean up after you cook. By refusing to do that bit (which would normally be HER bit) you are saying (as she would read it) that it is not important or that it is beneath you. Not beneath HER, mind. But too boring or lowly for YOU to deal with. I'd be surprised if she isn't feeling that you consider yourself very superior to her. And that sort of inequality really doesn't help a marriage. This is exactly the state of mind that leads a lot of women to find fault with any efforts the husband makes to "help" around the house. She is trying desperately to prove that what she does is special and can't be done by just anybody (especially YOU). In really grim situations (like my own failed marriage) she may be "staking a claim" on at least one little part of her life where she hopes to retain some control and ownership. I wonder if your friend who supplied the unofficial "counseling" said anything to suggest that your wife has real worth, that she is valuable or that she is making an important contribution? It would go a long way to explain her willingness to go with your new program. I hope that will work for you both. Sometimes we fall into solutions just as we so often fall into problems. For me, I left. I felt just as unappreciated and worthless as I suspect your wife has felt. I was, in fact, very near suicide. So why, once I was living in a strange place with a poorly paid job and two very small children, a crumby apartment, and ALL the household work and worry did I feel BETTER? Because I knew then - as I had NEVER been allowed to know before - that I WAS competent and able to manage my/our life. I wish I had figured all this out before it went that far. Things would be very different for me (and for the children) if I had known then what I know now. Best wishes for you. I hope it will all work out. I don't really have any magic solution. If you read this and see merit in it, it shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out what your wife needs and then to decide whether you want to provide it to her. Or...better still...to provide her the opportunity to get it for herself.

Everyone is asking for a porcelain slab fabricator close to where they live. What I did was search on Houzz to find local contractors with porcelain slab installations. Then viewing work that they did a few years ago for any cracking particularly around the sink faucets. I did not have good experiences asking the material vendor for contractors for other projects I have done.

Looking forward to your starting to build and us seeing it come together PI. I don't want to carry a phone with me all over my house, and before I had my whole-house generator, having just a cell phone would have meant it spent much of the time in the car charging. Carrying a phone around with you in the house can be the smartest thing you can do as you age in place. Why? If you fall for example, your phone will be right there to call. DH and I never even answer our home phone anymore because we know the only calls we get on the home phone are spam calls.