First of all, don't give up on the therapy--this is what many would consider an emergency, so DO NOT let the therapists put you off. Call your local children's hospital for a referral or, if need be, call the suicide hotline for advice. Yes, the threat is vague, but you're absolutely right that it needs to be addressed, sooner rather than later. Beyond that, try to get your son interested in doing something to make a difference. Maybe he could initiate gun safety talks for younger children, or perhaps there's some way he could volunteer with the police. Brainstorm with him to try to find something he (and perhaps the other 2 children involved) could do to make the world a better place now. Even if it's just getting a playground or Angel Garden installed in the local playground in memory of their friend. The more you can get him involved in making a difference, the more worthwhile life will seem to him. My nephew was similarly depressed when, in high school, he saw his best friend fall through the ice and die. There was a bridge keeper right above where the accident happened, but he had no emergency equipment available (it would have made a difference). I suggested to my Dsis that nephew see if he could raise money to get the equipment so nothing like this ever happened again. They went to the mayor/counsel, and THEY agreed that it was necessary and provided the emergency things for the bridge. My nephew was the catalyst and was able to feel that at least he helped stop this from happening again, hopefully. I reallly think, getting your son involved in something that makes a difference is the way to go here. Might take a little encouraging, maybe even a little subterfuge (you might present it that YOU want to start some sort of memorial effort, and see if it doesn't encourage him to get involved, rather than pushing the idea at him when he may not be quite ready for it yet). Very sad story--my condolences to all who have been affected.

At 15 months a child is able to learn what no means. The trouble is that you started out wrong and it's harder to get the message across when you are trying to undo rather than teach. First check into childproof devices like outlet covers that enclose the plug and all, cupboard locks and doorknob covers. These will keep your child safe without hassle. Put things that you want to keep safe or are dangerous beyond reach if possible. When he goes near the stove say hot--you'll get a boo boo or what ever you say for a sore. Find a place where he can be confined but yet see you and call it the naughty corner or whatever and when he misbehaves put him there for a minute or so if he doesn't heed your warning that he is being naughty. Afterward get on his level and tell him why he was being punished. Don't put him in the playpen for punishment if you want him to play in it. The punishment place should be used just for punishment, so he gets the right idea. You must do this EVERY time he does the same thing so he gets the message. Letting things lapse once or twice will tell him you are not really serious. I know it will be a hassle but if you follow through he will get the message.Consistancy is the key and I can't stress that enough Start with the thing that you would most like to curb. If you think he is too young to understand he's not. Before my son was crawling, I put red sticker dots on dangerous things. Every time we passed one I would point to it and say no-danger that will hurt John. He never touched anything with a dot when he started to crawl, but he would point to them and shake his head no. I never put a dot on anything that wasn't dangerous just because I didn't want him to touch it though and my honesty paid off. I wish you luck

elly has hit the nail on the head. You have a highly intelligent dog, they were bred to work 8 - 12 hours a day, so they are not going to be satisfied with being let out in the backyard for a couple of minutes in the morning to do their bsuiness and then placed in a crate all day - this is a good way to make a good dog insane. I suggest you find a local dog park, start training your dog with frequent and long dog walks - preferrably leash walking. You also need to start some obedience training, hopefully through a good positive reinforcement trainer with a good sized group of dogs. You should run your dog, let it play at a dog park or take it for a long walk before training - a tired dog is easier to train. Start behavioral training with the basics, sit stay lay down and leave it. These should be done in a calm manner with a firm voice. I suggest going to get a Natural Balance meat stick, cut off a round, dice that up and use it for training treats/rewards. When your dog does what you want, praise it with your voice and with the food. Find out if your dog is a ball dog, a frisbee dog or a stick dog, most Aussies are one, I suggest you have some time set aside each day for playtime, playing fetch. I would also recommend trying agility or flyball or some other activity - including search and rescue. Your dog is highly intelligent, very adaptable and willing to please you. You just need to direct it. Once you get training down you can tell your dog to leave it, when it goes to the place it likes to dig, once you have told your dog what you dont want, follow it up with playtime, and letting your dog know what you do want. Provide a kong, fill it with meat sticks, baby carrots etc, and have your dog play with that - your pup just needs some stimulation in its world, and it is smart enough to go start its own if you dont provide it. Good luck with your dog, in the right environment your dog will be an asset to your life.

"My children and I have open communication between us whereas she's never had that with her own mother so it's hard for her to just talk." This is only a valid comment if your children are OLDER than your SD. If you haven't raised a teenager, you can't predict what YOUR kids will be like when they get to her age. (and all teenagers are different) How do you know what she had with her own mother? Has she told you or are you guessing? Lots of teens find it hard to be open or talk to their parents even though they once had a close relationship with the parent(s). One thing is for sure, she is a product of her parents and it sorely irritates me when one parent, for lack of a better term, 'fails' to do a proper job of raising a child and when the child becomes unmanageable, they ship them off to the other parent. It's bad enough when both parents are involved ongoing but when they do it after years of keeping the other parent away or even if the other parent stayed away... you don't screw it up, throw your hands up and send the kid off to go live with virtual strangers! I'd suggest counseling ASAP for this girl but unless she wants to have a good relationship with her dad (and you), it probably won't do a whole lot of good. She has to want to benefit from it and probably at this point, all she can see is 'happily ever after' with her BF. "mother has not called anymore to check on her or anything. It's like she's happy to be rid of her." again, I cannot reiterate how pissed this makes me because the bottom line is her mom created this problem. If she kept dad away and f*cked up as a single parent, then how does she have the audacity to a) use dad as a punishment. b) throw the kid away and wash her hands of it. c) dump HER problems on you (and dad after preventing him from seeing her all those years). Of course, coming from a background where a mom would do that, it doesn't surprise me that a teenage girl would only think about how BF is going to rescue her and he'll be her family and they'll life happily ever after. That's a normal teen girl fantasy but when you have no real family in your life.. it becomes more important. At this point, how you and your family treat her (embrace her or just tolerate her) will factor in to her feelings of whether she HAS a family or not. If she feels like an outsider in your home and she feels abandoned or tossed aside by her mom (which seems true from your post), then she will latch on to something else. Lots of teen girls that long for acceptance or family, will have a baby or focus on a BF (or both) to achieve what they think what they want. It doesn't usually end up what they hope for *family*, it usually ends up with them being a single teen parent or feeling used by a BF and once again, tossed aside when he moves on... because most teenage boys are not thinking 'happily ever after'. As for you stepping into any role... let DAD be primary parent. If he is gone a lot, pick a time when he is home and he should sit down with SD15 to discuss what HIS expectations are and rules/consequences. Let HIM lay down the law and you might have to be the deputy that enforces it when dad is gone, but I would suggest trying not to make the rules too strict because you are not going to change SD from who she is.. but you need boundaries to maintain order in your house. Her dad needs to tell her that she is an example to the younger kids and as long as she lives there, she has to set a good example. My first thought was dad should have told mom no, SD can't come live there but then if he was kept away for so long and BM is 'throwing out' SD, then he really didn't have much choice, it's his daughter. But, if she is going to be there, she does need to realize that there are boundaries. The tough thing is if she refuses to abide by boundaries, sending her back to mom is not an option and neither is sending her to BF's family. But, like others have mentioned here, the behavior you've described here is not unusual for a teenager. I have a great relationship with my daughter (18) but she has her moments/days where I wanna scream! Refrain from comparing her to your kids because no two of your kids will be exactly the same as teens and your SD didn't have the home life your SD has. As the adult, you have to try to be more accepting and understanding of her feelings while trying to get her to understand how you feel as well. Good luck.