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Im sooo frustrated with my sons age
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Posted by twobearsmom (My Page) on Sun, Aug 23, 09 at 18:19
| OMG can I please vent! I am so frustrated sometimes with my sons new personality. He is 2 years and 8 months old and drives me crazy sometimes. I feel so bad but I am only human and sometime I just need peace. I just had a girl 3 weeks ago and Im sooo tired and exhaused and I feel like I have the most difficult toddler in the world. Please any advice will help.
1. WE HAVE BEEN POTTY TRANING HIM FOR A YEARRRR AND HE STILL PEES AND POOPS IN HIS DIAPER!!! I would love to hear advice i have not tried because trust me I tried EVERYTHING. Potty, potty seat, Rewarding, bribing, taking a break from it, underwear, praise...everything. I cant keep changing 2 sets of diapers or affording 2 sizes. What do I do?
2. THis kid doesnt sleep. He is up for atleast 16 hours a day with no nap...again I AM TIRED and would like a break.
3. Screaming at me, hitting, doing something after we just told him not to like 50248579 times, trying to pick up his sister when im not there, pouring stuff all over the floor while Im sleeping (powder lotion juice etc...)
Please someone help me I was doing sooooo good with him until recently I feel like iM REalLy loosing my mind. MY friends used to tell me i made it look so easy and he is so well behaved and really smart now i feel like im losing control. |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: Im sooo frustrated with my sons age
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| Lack of sleep makes it seem alot worse too doesnt it.my daughter was just two when i had a baby,two lots of nappy changes and the price bothered me too.my daughter is three now and out of nappies completly,i did nothing,didnt potty train,she just came out of them by herself,i put no pressure on her atall.I think your daughter is definatly attention seeking,my baby is 15 months old now and in my experience things have got worse,she doesnt let him play with any toys,they are constantly screaming.Ive alot of patience but sometimes i break down too,think its lack of sleep as my 15month old is just the worst sleeper,since i had my son ,my daughter is bottle and dummy mad,wont give them up,my son doesnt even like a dummy,she starts nursery in a few weeks ,although she says she isnt going,im hoping things improve then,anyway sorry i dont have any advice im just letting you know your definatly not alone,think im venting myself this morning as ive had the worst sleep last night,kids eh.but they do grow up really fast and this will be a distant memory,good luck xx |
RE: Im sooo frustrated with my sons age
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| Been there done that. I had three babies in 3.5 years. I spent a lot a days sitting in a rocker recliner with two toddlers and a baby in my lap because everyone needed mommy. Each child had to have his/her turn at "This little Piggy". We even slept four in a bed at naptime because I would lay down with the kids and fall asleep too. I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself much less get anything accomplished. Hopefully, things will calm down a little bit as you start settling into a new routine and your ds gets used to having a sibling. Your ds just needs to know that he is still loved and hasn't been replaced. Try to include him in things with the baby as much as you can. If you're feeding the baby, he can be sitting right with you. If he's old enough to draw, have him draw pictures. Proudly hang them on the refrigerator. Remind him of how big he is and how he can do big boy things. Praise him whenever you can. Take lots of pictures. My advice would be to ignore the potty training right now. It's just going to be frustrating for both of you. Wait a few months and then try again. A lot of kids aren't potty trained before they are three. Little boys usually take longer than girls. It's not worth the extra stress or hassle when you have other major life changes like a new baby. Does your son have a movie or dvd that he likes to watch? Kids usually like to watch the same things over and over again. You don't want to depend on a movie as a continual babysitter, but it may help you to get a little rest and hopefully develop a better schedule. Pick a time that would be good for a nap. The two of you snuggle on the couch or in a bed or wherever and watch the movie together. Your ds may not get back to taking naps, but at least you'll get a little rest and he'll know he's still special to you. Good luck to you. It may exhausting and frustrating right now, but everything changes with time. |
RE: Im sooo frustrated with my sons age
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| My usually sweet 2 year 8 month old grandson just left after visiting us for a week. DD is expecting their second child in two months. But the napping is becoming a problem. They took a trip to see his other grandparents a month ago, and sleep problems arose with that trip and did not go away when they returned home. He did not want to nap. He wanted to be with his mommy at all times. He did not want to go to bed either. They had to be strict and firm with him to keep him in bed. Finally, they had to install double baby gates at his bedroom door and let him cry it out after they had read to him, sung songs, and put him to bed. Now he stays in his bed, but it took a week of struggles. Quit the effort to potty train. He is not ready and he is a little young for it. At this point, you are the one being trained. Put away all the potty training stuff and let him mature more. Try again in 6 months. Is he eating anything with caffeine to keep him awake--cola, chocolate, Mountain Dew? Are you making sure he eats some protein at each meal? By any chance has he had an allergy to milk? Milk allergy can contribute to such a day. A new baby is hard for the previously only child sometimes. I remember reading an expert's explanation of it this way. Imagine if your husband came home one day and said to you, "Darling, I love you so much. I just love being married to you and sharing all the love we have to give. I love you so much that I have decided to bring another wife into our home. I won't love you any the less, and you will love her as much as I do. We will all have even more love to share and we will be even happier with another wife in our family." That is the situation your son is in! He misses being the one and only. Work at getting some rest yourself. Let the house go. Ask for your husband's help. If you have family close by who can help, let them know you could use some help. The woman who does the show Super Nanny has written a child care book. My daughter's friend, a mother of a baby and 2 toddlers and a pediatrician herself, suggested her child care book. Maybe that would be a good idea for you too. |
RE: Im sooo frustrated with my sons age
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| No one has offered any suggestions for your toddler's sleep. I know you don't have any time, but if you did a great book is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. A major point of the book is that the less rested your child becomes, the more they resist sleep. They get hyped up on adrenaline and can not seem to settle themselves down enough to sleep. When they finally crash, they sleep in a very light state and do not get refreshed. The suggestion is to start a program of pulling in bed time and nap time. If you normally put him to bed at 8, try 7:30 and then if you normally would attempt a nap at 1, try 12:30. Most toddlers can't tolerate (well) an awake period of more than 5-5:30 hours. I have definitely witnessed this dynamic in my kids. My first child did not nap at all in her bed. If it had been left up to her, she would not have slept at all during the day. Most people would have looked at her and never known that she was sleep deprived. Toward the end of the day she would get so loopy and silly and hyper that she would not sit still at the dinner table. By the time I read the book, she was 18 months old and I would "force her to sleep" by holding (confining)her in my arms in a rocking chair until she stopped squirming and fell asleep. By the time she was 3, she didn't fit in my arms in a rocking chair so I would lay down with her in my bed at nap time. When my twins were born, I knew better and made sure that they learned to put themselves to sleep by the time they were 7 months old. I have had to be very disciplined about their sleep schedules. I am always home at a specific time for naps and bed time rarely vary more than 30 minutes. Every so often we go on a trip or have a holiday and things get off, but I am mean. I will put them in their cribs and let them fuss until they fall asleep. Before long things are back on track. Sounds like your behavior issues are probably very strongly connected to sleep deficit. I also agree that some of the aggression could be associated with having a new sibling and the potty training problems. Let the house go as much as possible and try to go to sleep as soon as they are in bed for the night. If the naps return, try napping when they nap. When you are a little more rested, you will be able to have more patience and he will probably enjoy having the mommy he knows back again. |
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