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what discipline is working well?

Posted by papaofone (My Page) on
Fri, Aug 4, 06 at 14:54

my 19 mo old is testing his boundries as often as you would expect; however, we havent found the perfect discipline to consistantly show him the rules. we have tried time-outs mostly. we'd put him in his crib and i would stay in the room w/ my back to him for about 90 sec. i was working pretty well but eventually putting him in the crib for a nap became a huge crying fight when before he had been a great sleeper for us. we dont want to spank, and we thought of putting him in the pack and play but im afraid that it will have the same effect because it is still very simmilar to the crib. also im worried that if i just put him in the corner he wont understand that it is discipline and ill have to hold him there, which could eaisily turn into a game for him.
So what are you doing that is working effectivly? any help is appreciated. thanks


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: what discipline is working well?

Read the Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp. I used that and as my son got older went right into 123 magic they are very similar. I know alot of people think using a method from a book is dumb but it really helped my husband and I get on the same page.
Karps method entails letting your child understand if they are upset about something and throwing a tantrum. He has steps for ending the behavior that ends in a time out. the timeouts happend wherever, does not need to be in a bed or locked anyweere. and even if you end up holding him hold him facing away from you and don't talk to him. He is still being removed from where he wants to be. He also talks about using time ins, making sure your child is getting attention before acting out. It is a great book. Your librarly will probably have it.
123 magic starts about 2 and even works with my 12 year old, so check that out too.

Here is a link that might be useful: Harvey Karps website


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RE: what discipline is working well?

As I mentioned in another blog, I am a teacher and child care provider.I have 20yrs plus, experience in dealing with children--especailly toddlers! The best way to avoid discipline problems is to keep your child on a schedule. He/she should take two naps a day before age two. They should get at least 12-14 hrs. of sleep per day. Diet is also important, limit sugar and soda. Children usually act out when they are tired or hungry. If you have the schedule in line and they still act out,then taking away priledges,ie.favorite toys, TV, or activities will work well. I say " You may choose this or we will not beable to do....or I will put up your toy!" Let them know you are in charge.


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RE: what discipline is working well?

Distraction works well I think, and as the previous poster says, keep them busy and then they wont have time to act up.

I see so many parents having arguments with toddlers in the shops.."No you cant have that, put it down" and it goes on, child doesnt put it down, screaming crying.

If they just distracted the child, thought about where they where taking the child, to a shop with heaps of things to touch...then they could plan the trip so everyone has a happy time.

Its all about the parent being cleverer than the child, and thinking ahead of potential blow ups.

When you get into this fram of thinking, and anticipate potential problems, and how you will deal with them, it all falls into place, and you enjoy those precious years.

It isnt easy but rewarding when things run smoothly.

Popi


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RE: what discipline is working well?

I have a 17 month old. She doesn't seem to understand what I am telling her when I tell her she can't do something or have something if she keeps crying. So she keeps crying and she never gets it. Then when it's time for her to eat she is so mad at me that she just takes her food and throws it on the floor and refuses to eat it. I don't know what to do. We don't want to spank her because we feel that is wrong and a way of teaching her to hit. Giving her a time out doesn't seem to work. Putting her in bed definetly doesn't work because she broke it from shaking it so hard. The screws fell out and won't go back in. She will cry so hard she can't breathe and so I give in to her. I don't know what to do. I want to remain calm so she doesn't learn that acting out is normal. How do I do that and teach her what she should be doing?

At least she says thank you when you hand her something. =) And we recently have been working on please...but that's touchy cause she usually throws a fit if she doesn't get what she wants and by the time you give it to her she just hits it out of your hand. She's got a temper that little one.


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RE: what discipline is working well?

Difficult age, she is just starting to learn "the rules".

This will take time and you must try to be consistant.

I would only bring out the meal when she is happy and cooperative.

When she is having a tirade, she can't control herself. It is up to you to use calming techniques. Hug, gentle talking, singing, distraction, take her outside, look up in the sky, find a bird to look at, a flower.

I would not use bed as a punishment, as you want bed to be a lovely place, not a prison.

I think you should assure yourself that she is well rested, if she isnt she is more likely to have a tantrum, and that she is eating enough food to keep her happy.

Perhaps she is a bit young for time out, I think this should come a bit later, when she is capable of understanding what you are saying to her.

I have two children 19 and 14, I used all these techniques on them, many years ago !

Good luck, if you get through day one, with some sort of victory, you will feel you are starting to maintain some sor of control.

Popi


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RE: what discipline is working well?

I have just recently changed her from her crib to toddler bed and she loves it. She stays in bed now and sleeps all the way through the night. I'm still having trouble with her temper but she has been sick for a week and we took her to er with a 103.4 temp and they just said she had a cold. We had to wait 7 1/2 hours in er just to find that out. So she is a bit fussy from be to enforce anything new. But thanks for the advice.


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