Yes, I know Burpees bought the right to the Heronswood name when they bought the nursery operations, but it still irks the daylights out of me to see it bandied about with reference to their PA display gardens. Whatever they choose to call it, it is NOT Heronswood, nor will it ever be. The real Heronswood remains here outside of Kingston, WA, embroiled in a struggle for purchase by a local garden conservancy to be maintained in perpetuity. If any of you who visited the original Heronswood or if you valued that former nursery before Ball got his grubby, greedy hands on it are interested in saving this fanatstic and one of a kind display garden, check out the attached link. Here is a link that might be useful: Pacific Northwest Horticultural Conservancy

Wow, I'm coming late to this party. Ok, here's my list: Olga: Lady Hillingdon, Deuil du Dr. Reynaud, Radio Times, Yolande d'aragon, Belle de crecy, and general interest in getting more gallicas Tivoli: Clementina Carbonieri, Penny Lane, Radio Times, Wm. Shakespeare 2000 Harryshoe: Tamora, Scepter'd Isle Molineux: Molineux, Pretty Jessica, Reine de Violettes (and one day I will have Evelyn) Zeffyrose: Clair Matin, Viking Queen, Carefree Beauty LoriElf: Rhonda, Ilse Krohn Superior, Etoile de Hollande, Baronne Prevost Jeri: Grandmother's Hat Pappu: Rose de Rescht Robert: enabled me into building rebar teepees. George (roselover): enabled me to order the Prince (perhaps 3) for next year after seeing his magnificent one in person. I also might end up ordering Hippolyte, Leda, and some white clematis. That's all I can remember but there are many, many talented enablers on this forum who have contributed to my ongoing quest for more beauties. Thanks for that, Shelley :)

NOTE: Rhubarb was numbered incorrectly Should Be 28 Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by wizardnm (My Page) on Mon, May 17, 10 at 13:32 This ingredient is perfectly timed. I know I was drooling over the rhubarb pie that Ann posted about on the WFD thread last week. Time to find those rhubarb recipes that get tucked away for most of the year. Thanks Ann! Nancy Follow-Up Postings: o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by wizardnm (My Page) on Mon, May 17, 10 at 13:35 Link to the last cookalong. Here is a link that might be useful: Cookalong # 26 ---------- Pineapple o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by lindac (My Page) on Mon, May 17, 10 at 16:15 ALMOND RHUBARB CRISP (Serves 6) 1/3 c. whole natural almonds 1 1/4 lb. fresh rhubarb 1/4 c. water 3/4 c. sugar 1/2 tsp. almond extract 1/2 c. butter or margarine, softened 1/2 c. flour 1/4 tsp. salt Grind almonds in food processor or blender, or chop very finely. Wash and trim rhubarb; cut into 1" pieces. Place in buttered 1 1/2 qt. shallow casserole. Combine water, 1/4 c. of the sugar, and almond extract. Pour over fruit. Cream butter with 1/2 c. sugar, then beat in ground almonds, flour, salt. Sprinkle dough in large pieces over rhubarb. Bake at 375 degrees for 30 min. or till top is getting golden brown--I find it usually takes more than the 30 minutes. Serve warm or cooled. (I serve w/ whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.) Serves 6. Rhubarb Cream Pie 1 unbaked 9 inch pie crust...in a 9 inch pie pan 3 cups of rhubarb cut in 1/2 inch pieces 1 1/2 c. sugar 4 T. flour 3 eggs Add'l 6 T. sugar 1/2 tsp vanilla, pinch of salt, 1/4 tsp. cream of tartar Mix flour and sugar and pour over rhubarb in a large bowl, mix well , separate the eggs and add the yolks to the rhubarb and mix well. Place in pie shell and bake at 375 for 1 hour until center is bubbly and crust is brown. Cool slightly. Beat whites, salt, and cream of tartar until soft peaks form, add the 6 T. of sugar in batches and continue beating until stiff peaks form when you raise the beater. place merangue on pie and bake 5 or 6 minutes at 425 until lightly browned. Rhubarb Cake Ingredients: 1/2 c Butter 1 1/2 c Sugar, brown 1 Egg; beaten 1 ts Vanilla 1/8 ts Salt 1 c Buttermilk 2 c Flour 1 ts Baking soda 3 c Rhubarb; finely sliced 1/2 c Nuts; chopped I omit 1/3 c Sugar, brown 1/3 c Sugar 1/2 ts Cinnamon Procedure: Slice the rhubarb into 1/4" slices. Cream the margarine and 1¼ cups brown sugar; add the egg, vanilla and salt; mix well. Add the buttermilk, flour and soda; mix well. Stir in the rhubarb. Pour the batter into a well-greased "9x13" cake pan. Mix together 1/2 cup nuts, 1/3 cup brown sugar, 1/3 cup white sugar and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon; distribute this mixture evenly over the unbaked cake batter. Bake for about 45 minutes in a 350 degree oven. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by doucanoe (My Page) on Mon, May 17, 10 at 20:02 Perfect timing! My rhubarb is ready for pickin'! This one is quite good, and a little different than mosr rhubarb desserts I make. Vanilla Pudding With Baked Rhubarb 1 c sugar 1/4 c AP flour 1/2 tsp salt 2 c milk (not skim) 1-1/2 vanilla beans, halved lengthwise 4 large egg yolks, lightly beaten 4 T unsalted butter, cut into small pieces Baked rhubarb (recipe follows) Whisk together sugar, flour and salt in medium bowl, set aside. Pour milk into medium saucepan, scrape in vanilla seeds and add the pods. Stir together. Cook over medium heat until tiny bubbles begin to form around edges of pan, about 7 minutes. Gradually add milk to flour mixture, whisking constantly. Transfer the milk/flour mixture to saucepan, cook over low heat, whisking constantly, 5 minutes. Put egg yolks in small bowl, whisk in small amount of the hot milk mixture. Add yolk mixture to saucepan. Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly until mixture comes to a boil and thickens, 10-12 minutes. Remove from heat and discard pods. Add butter and whisk until melted. Pass pudding thru a fine sieve into medium bowl, forcing it through holes with a rubber spatula. Cover surface of pudding with plastic wrap to prevent skin from forming. Let stand at room temperature until slightly cooled, about 30 minutes. Spoon pudding into bowls, top with baked rhubarb. Pudding can be refrigerated, covered with plastic for up to 24 hours. Baked Rhubarb Unsalted butter, for dish 1 lb rhubarb stalks cut diagonally into 1 inch pieces 3/4 c sugar 2 T light corn syrup 1/2 vanilla bean, halved lengthwise Preheat oven to 375F butter an 8 inch square baking dish, set aside. Put rhubarb, sugar and corn syrup in medium bowl, scrape in vanilla seeds and add the pods. Toss together. Transfer to buttered dish and bake, tossing gently halfway thru, until tender, about 35 minutes. Discard pods, Let cool slightly. Toss gently before serving. Linda o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by westelle (My Page) on Mon, May 17, 10 at 21:47 This has been a family favorite for over 30 years. It's like a rhubarb custard with crunchy topping: Dutch Rhubarb Dessert Butter for pan 3 cups Rhubarb, cut into 1" pieces 1 cup flour, divided 1/4 cup melted butter 3/4 cup brown sugar 1 cup sugar 2 beaten eggs • Butter 8 X 8 pan. • Spread rhubarb in pan. • Mix 1 cup of the sugar, 1/4 flour and the eggs thoroughly and pour over rhubarb. • Topping: Melt butter, add brown sugar, 3/4 cup flour and pat on top of other mixture. • Bake for 35 minutes at 375º F. I usually substitute Quick Oatmeal for the flour in the topping portion. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by denise8101214 (My Page) on Tue, May 18, 10 at 9:59 Link to the other cookalongs. Here is a link that might be useful: All the other Cookalongs o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by ann_t (My Page) on Tue, May 18, 10 at 10:08 My favourite rhubarb Pie recipe: Rhubarb Pie =========== Source: Madame Benoit Cooks at Home 1978 4 cups rhubarb, cut in to 1/2 inch pieces 2 eggs 1/2 cup white sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar 3 tablespoons flour pinch of salt juice of 1/2 small lemon 1/2 teaspoon vanilla pastry for two crusts 1 tablespoon sugar Roll out dough for bottom crust and line pie plate with pastry. Beat eggs lightly, and then stir in brown and white sugars, flour, lemon juice, salt and extract. Mix in rhubarb. Pour into pour in to pie shell. Roll out remaining pastry and cut into strips. Weave pastry strips over top and sprinkle with remaining tablespoon of sugar. Bake in a 450°F oven on bottom shelf for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 350° and move pie to middle of the oven. Continue baking for 25 to 35 minutes. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by katiec (My Page) on Tue, May 18, 10 at 19:22 I made this on Sunday for DH's birthday. He always requests rhubarb cream pie in lieu of cake... * Exported from MasterCook * Rhubarb Cream Pie Recipe By : Katie Serving Size : 6 Preparation Time :0:00 Categories : Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method -------- ------------ -------------------------------- 1 1/2 cups sugar 1/4 cup flour 3/4 teaspoon nutmeg 3 eggs -- slightly beaten 4 cups rhubarb -- cut in 1" pieces 2 tablespoons butter pastry for 9" pie Combine sugar, flour and nutmeg. Beat into eggs. Stir in rhubarb and put in pie crust. Dot with butter. Top with lattice crust, flute edge. Bake in 400F oven for 50-60 minutes. Cool before slicing. ***For a 10" pie I use 1 3/4 c. sugar, 1/3 c. flour, 1 tsp. nutmeg, 4 eggs and 5 c. rhubarb. Source: "Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, mid-60's" Yield: "1 9" pie" o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by lpinkmountain (My Page) on Thu, May 20, 10 at 15:33 Anyone have any lowfat or "lower fat" ideas for rhubarb. I want to take some to a picnic this weekend. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by annie1992 (My Page) on Thu, May 20, 10 at 15:41 Sure, I just got this recipe, haven't tried it yet, but it looks good. HEALTHIER-RHUBARB-RECIPE FOR LOW-FAT RHUBARB CAKE 2 cups chopped rhubarb 1 egg white 1 tsp. vanilla 1/3 cup apple sauce 1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar pinch salt 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. cinnamon or nutmeg 1 cup soured milk or buttermilk 2 cups flour Combine all ingredients, creaming butter and sugars first. Pour into a 13 x 9 baking dish. Sprinkle top with cinnamon and a bit more sugar if you wish. Bake at 350F for 35 - 40 minutes. Or a rhubarb crisp would be lower in fat and calories than pie, and I love it. You'd have to increase the recipe, of course, this is enough for two. Rhubarb Crisp From EatingWell: May/June 2007 2 servings 1 cup thinly sliced rhubarb 1/2 cup chopped peeled apple 3 tablespoons granulated sugar 1 teaspoon instant tapioca 1/4 teaspoon plus 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon, divided 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons old-fashioned rolled oats, (not steel-cut or instant) 1 1/2 tablespoons packed dark brown sugar 1 tablespoon finely chopped pecans 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted 2 teaspoons pure maple syrup 1/8 teaspoon salt Preheat oven to 350°F. Toss rhubarb, apple, granulated sugar, tapioca and 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon in a medium bowl. Divide between two 10-ounce (1 1/4-cup) oven-safe ramekins or custard cups. Mix flour, oats, brown sugar, pecans, butter, syrup, salt and the remaining 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon in a small bowl until crumbly. Sprinkle over the rhubarb mixture. Bake until bubbling and lightly browned, about 30 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes before serving. Per serving : 259 Calories; 9 g Fat; 4 g Sat; 2 g Mono; 15 mg Cholesterol; 47 g Carbohydrates; 3 g Protein; 3 g Fiber; 153 mg Sodium; 294 mg Potassium Annie o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by lpinkmountain (My Page) on Thu, May 20, 10 at 17:13 Thanks Annie!! Normally I would make crisp, but I have this WEIRD thing about eating some foods hot or cold. I like to think of myself as a "not picky" eater, but every once and a while one of my food fetishes crops up. I don't like cold crisp or cold rice. Well, maybe cold rice pudding in a pinch, but not savory rice. Oh, I usually can't abide by cold soups except for gazpacho. Cold beet borscht really does me in in the "open mind" struggle. It's not a taste thing, my food issues seem to be over temp. and texture, because I don't like fresh plums either, but will eat them in crisp or jam and I love prunes. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by moosemac (My Page) on Fri, May 21, 10 at 8:25 Here's one I make every year: Rhubarb BBQ Sauce 4 cups rhubarb peeled and chopped 1 scant cup of red wine vinegar 2 tbsp. Balsamic vinegar 1 cup dark brown sugar 1½ cups sweet onion, diced Bring ingredients to a boil. Reduce heat; cook 1 hour on low stirring frequently. Cool and puree in blender. Puree may be refrigerated for later completion. Bring to boil over medium heat. Add: 1 heaping tbsp. minced garlic ½ tsp. dry mustard ½ tsp. cinnamon 12 oz. tomato paste 2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce ½ tsp. salt 3 oz. water 1 tsp. Tabasco Sauce 1 tsp. liquid smoke Bring to boil again then turn off, cool and stir in: ½ cup light brown sugar ½ cup bourbon This freezes well. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by fearlessem (My Page) on Mon, May 24, 10 at 0:03 Ann -- I just have to thank you again for your fabulous rhubarb pie recipe. I have taken to making it with the zest from an orange and juice from half an orange replacing the lemon... Brought it to a party tonight and people's eyes rolled back in their heads when they tasted it. Hands down my favorite pie now, and one of the only pies I ever want more than one piece of... Emily o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by barnmom (My Page) on Mon, May 24, 10 at 1:08 Emily, I love Ann's recipe, too. I also added the zest from an orange. My friend said it was the best pie she had ever eaten. Pie, not just rhubarb pie. It was her first rhubarb pie ever. o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by lpinkmountain (My Page) on Mon, May 24, 10 at 10:46 Does anyone know anything about freezing rhubarb? I have been so sick and weak that I haven't had the energy to make anything, especially something like rhubarb jam, which in my case almost always ends up being rhubarb sauce. I am thinking maybe I could at least freeze some for a pie or cobbler later in the season when I get my health back. o RE: Cookalong #28---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by wizardnm (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 8:45 Oh boy, I messed up the Cookalong number, it should have read #28. Made it hard to find. But here we are and it's time for a new subject... Drum roll...I'm picking a name from those who posted to this thread............. >>>>>>>>>>>> LindaC will you please pick our next Cookalong ingredient to focus on? Now remember, no seafood, fish. poultry or meat, I want everyone to be able to play.... Nancy o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by lindac (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 11:04 Corn??? Since it's that time! o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by wizardnm (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 11:47 I love corn, let's give it a try. We did corn a long time ago (Cookalong 12) but we have many new people and I think corn is one of those things that we all love and can always use new ideas for. Thank you, Linda! Here is a link that might be useful: Cookalong #29 Corn!!!! o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by beth4 (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 14:57 Pink, I freeze my rhubarb all of the time. Here in Utah, we've had such a cold, long spring (which I've LOVED), that I just picked my first batch of rhubarb just last Monday, 31 May. So I chuckle that the rest of the cooking forum is moving on to other things, and we're just getting our rhubarb. :) Anyway, just pick your rhubarb. Cut into 1 inch stalks (I find that's the size I use for pies, cobblers, muffins, sauces, etc.), put in freezer bags and freeze. I do nothing else. When I defrost the rhubarb, I then measure it and treat it like it's fresh. And this method works wonderfully for me...and gives me the taste of fresh rhubarb all year long. I love rhubarb sauce or rhubarb pie in the fall and winter! o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by canarybird (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 15:52 I haven't seen a scrap of rhubarb here this year. I think it has to come from somewhere else with a cooler climate, perhaps the Spanish mainland. But when I do get it these are my favourite recipes: Rhubarb & Orange Compote Ingredients for 2 servings: 2 1/4 cups of rhubarb cut in 1 inch pieces 1 orange 2 teasp grated orange peel, plus a few thin slices for decorating 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/2 cup water 1) Peel orange and remove all white pith. Section into quarters then slice each quarter crosswise into 6 fan-shaped pieces. 2) Put rhubarb and orange in saucepan with orange pieces, grated orange peel, sugar and water. 3) Cook without lid until mixture is reduced, about 15 minutes. Remove from stove and cool. 4) Refrigerate until icy cold and serve decorated with a few julienne slices of peel. Makes a great breakfast dish, tangy and refreshing. ************************************** Here's the rhubarb pie recipe with my favourite pastry that's irresistible to the last crumb. Rhubarb Pie 5 cups rhubarb cut into 1 to 1 1/2 inch pieces 1 1/2 cups sugar 1/3 cup flour pinch salt 1 teasp grated orange peel 2 TBS butter Combine above ingredients except butter in a bowl and turn with a spoon so all rhubarb is evenly coated. Prepare pastry and line a nine inch pie plate. Fill with rhubarb mixture and dot with the 2 TBS butter. Put on top crust, flute edges and brush top crust with 1 egg yolk combined with 1 teasp water. I also sprinkle all over with a little sugar. Bake 10 minutes at 425F then lower heat to 350 for about 40 minutes more or until top is golden. Here's Nathan's Pastry - sufficient for 1 pie as above size pieplate: Nathan's Never-Fail Pastry: Preheat Oven to 425F (220C): 2 1/2 cups flour 1/2 teasp salt 1 teasp baking powder (not baking soda !) 1/2 pound (227 grams) lard - such as Tenderflake Lard 1 teasp white vinegar 1 egg slightly beaten (see point 3 below) 1) Mix flour, salt and baking powder in large bowl 2) Cut lard into flour with two knives until it's all in small crumbs 3) Beat egg in your measuring cup with a fork, then add vinegar to that and carefully add water until you have 1/2 cup of liquid mixture. 4) Add liquid to flour and mix gently with fork until all is moist. Form it into a ball. 5) Divide into two even balls, sprinkle with flour and wrap in tin foil in two pkgs and put in fridge to cool for at least half an hour if possible. SharonCb o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by dgkritch (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 16:55 Yep, exactly what beth4 said! I do the same, but my "chunks" may be closer to 1/2" than 1". It actually cooks a little faster since the cells are already broken. It softens in the freezer, but tastes like fresh! Thanks for asking about lower Cal recipes and thanks to Annie for posting them! I'm NEEDIN' that cake now! The BBQ sauce looks great too, moosemac! Deanna o RE: Cookalong #27---------RHUBARB!!! clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings Posted by lpinkmountain (My Page) on Mon, Jun 7, 10 at 17:37 Now if I could just find some of the dang stuff! Looked all over for it last weekend. It was 4.00/lb. the first time I saw it at Wegman's, not it's $5. None at the so called "farmers" market, seems they are always sold out when I go, and none at the greengrocer. I've been too sick to get out into the country, but next week I am going strawberry picking so I might try to look for a place along the way to the U-pick farm, which is 45 min. N of me.

Tishtosh, I am sorry that you see some of my story in yours-- but has your situation been improved? I certainly do not feel wonderfully talented and mothering these days has been leaving me drained. You are so kind to think that of me. Justgotabme, I think the fact that you can communicate so rationally with your spouse speaks volumes! Mine usually just gets defensive. How wonderful to be married happily for so many years! It is the best gift you have given to your children, in my opinion! Debrak, I find it amazing that your relative changed his behavior. That is really something, and I find it unusual. It seems that not only do some people not change, but maybe even MOST people don't change? I have threatened to leave. I was really serious about it last week because he was so hostile towards me for repainting. I thought, no way can I, as a grown woman, live with a man who is so hostile to me for doing such a simple thing. To me, that is crazy. I was doing all the work, staying up to all hours, and he only had to do a little extra housework. He will always change for a little while after a big fight but then it goes back to same old. I am on the fence about how not to be a doormat. My mom taught me that the best response to rudeness was to stay silent. However, while this sometimes works-- it does not always. There was a performance art piece of a woman who stood naked in public for 6 hours or so. She surrounded herself with different objects-- some that were gentle and some that could hurt her. As she stood without moving, people bullied her. But when her 6 hours were up and she began to move, people scattered. She interpreted this to mean that just "ignoring" does not work. Lukk, congrats on the upcoming anniversary! We just celebrated (without celebrating) our 15th. You are very right that my husband and I have a long history of issues, and also so true about not being able to take things back. There have been MANY things (and issues) that should never have been said or allowed to happen. Unfortunate, but what can one do, except move on and keep trying, I suppose. As for counseling-- we did go to a professional. The initial marriage counseling was done through the church but later we went to a dedicated counselor, complete with a PhD. He had a lot of good insights, and I think some of the key messages were very valuable. It's putting them into practice that has been the issue. Blfenton, I like what you said about respect. I don't know where my husband stands on that issue regarding his view of me because more often it is the digs vs. a full-blown approach. I am so glad you are also leaving the room and hope you have seen results. It helps to not escalate the situation yet get the point across. We don't have control over what people say, but at least we can not "take" it. Cyn, I am so sorry you have been subjected to abusive behavior. I looked up signs of emotional abuse and my DH fit most of them (there were 30). BUT, when I read the stories of people who were truly being abused, they didn't sound like mine at all. They tended to have more possessive spouses/partners or it happened day in, day out. So, I feel like I am complaining when it is so minor compared to others. And I can't help but keep coming back to all I have done wrong. You are so right that what he says is intended to shut me down. That is the #1 way he "discusses" things. If I bring up a problem, he tells me I do the same thing, or I am perfect, uses absolutes like "always," "never," etc. Rococogurl, that does help. Thank you! Awm03, those are such beautiful words to say! Thank you so much. I don't feel I fit them but I very much appreciate that you see me that way. I really like your perspective of seeing this as a challenge, not an insurmountable obstacle. I feel so touched by your support-- and hee hee about the salmon puff recipe! Just thinking about it makes me smile. Ellendi, yes-- it sounds like, with your husband, it was more an issue of what was on his radar vs. yours, but there was no malice behind it. My MIL is like his, so you are right that I need to keep that in mind. When our first daughter started walking and my DH shared the news with her, she said, "Well, babies learn to walk." NOTHING is ever a big deal to her . . .it is so hard, if not impossible, to get even a nod of approval. So, I need to remember this with DH, that he is starting from a place where people in his life held on tight to saying nice things. Maybe it was seen as being weak? Such good advice, too, to make a joke of things. Holly-Kay, if I recall correctly your first husband died quite young, yes? In his 40s? I feel so bad for your son, to carry around the anger. There is hope he can let go. I am so glad counseling made a big difference for you. And please know I have been thinking about you as you go through this stressful period of selling your business! Thank you all again. This has been very helpful.