Delayed Speaking in 3 year old / Selective talking
danmom
17 years ago
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Teaching a 3 year old to care about her friends - ??
Comments (16)Lyfia, at the age of 3, children generally do not have more than one friend at once. It is normal. Sometimes they do not even have one friend-- they still do a lot of parallel play where they are not necessarily interacting with each other. The advice of others to focus on polite behavior is the best. I have found that some children truly are born more empathetic tendencies than others. However, even children who are more attuned to the feelings of others will NOT always translate this into behavior at certain ages. I would focus on giving specific suggestions-- wave at your friend, greet her by saying "Hello," etc. Not too many, though! Then, you can roleplay with her dolls or stuffed animals. If she follows through on your suggestions, avoid telling her you're proud, or "good job" or other comments that focus on your judgment. Instead, you can say things like, "Your friend looks so happy that you said 'hello'!" or just, "You waved at your friend!" Regarding following and not leading-- I have found that this is something you can't really change. People tend to be born leaders or born followers. In certain situations, however, people do change . . .the child who may be "slow to warm" may shine during a solo on stage and run the show, but let others make decisions during play. What I do is (selectively) ask the other child (who is not leading) what they would like to do/offer the child a few choices. Then, I am modeling for the "leader" children what it's like to listen. One note-- I used to think of my DD as bossy until I read an article saying that people generally only refer to as girls this way. Boys are assertive, and girls are bossy. Changed my perspective!...See MoreNYC with a 3 year old
Comments (20)Hi, just wanted to offer some suggestions of places and things my kids liked when they were little. Also a great resource is New York magazine (nymag.com); check out the vistors� guide section for kids. Museum of Natural History - of course, the dinosaurs but there�s also the blue whale room and, for some strange reason, both my kids loved the gem room. Metropolitan Museum of Art - some very cool Egyptian stuff that a 3-year old might be interested in and also the Temple of Dendur. Check out their website: metmuseum.org. They also have some itineraries geared toward younger kids under planning your visit. (The entrance fee is just the recommended amount, you can pay less.) Great playground just north of the museum; it�ll play into your visit to the Met. Broadway plays - my one son saw The Lion King when he was three and really doesn�t remember anything. You could check out The New Victory Theater on 42nd street - newvictory.org - to see if they have something appropriate for when you�re visiting. The costs are usually reasonable especially compared to a Broadway show. Central Park http://www.centralparknyc.org/ Central Park Zoo - it�s a really good size for a 3-year old. Check out when the feeding times are for, I think, the penguins and sea lions. Also check out the Delacorte clock near the entrance. Carousel - always fun Model Boat Pond - you can rent a radio-controlled model boat (your husband might really like doing this with your daughter). If you�ve read Stuart Little or seen the movie, the scene where he�s on the boat takes place there. The formal name is the Conservatory Water. Alice in Wonderland statue - right next to the pond. Walking - the best way to see New York so I would highly recommend a stroller BUT don�t overload it. As much as you can walk forever in New York, you might need to take a cab or the subway depending upon where you�re going. So you�re going to need to fold it up and, if you have too much, this can make you a little frazzled trying to keep track of your daughter and all the other stuff. Great places to walk: Central Park The High-Line (thehighline.org) old elevated railroad line on the west side of Manhattan. They did a great job but you need to look at the website to understand it. You can stop at the Chelsea Market for lunch (great bread at Amy�s Bread). It�s my new favorite place. Battery Park - Lower Manhattan - (bpcparks.org) where you�d go to get the ferry to the Statue of Liberty. The whole Hudson riverfront all the way up to the George Washington Bridge is a park. The part that I liked the best is in lower Manhattan (Rockefeller Park); has a great playground and a fun sculpture garden with very playful statues by Tom Otterness. You could go there the day you�re going to the Statue of Liberty. And if you�re downtown, the 9/11 Memorial could be combined with Battery Park and the Statue of Liberty. You need to get tickets (they�re free - 911memorial.org). I was just there recently and the lines moved fast. I think you have to empty everything out of the stroller and put it in bins. Empire State Building - I love it at dusk when the lights are coming on but the lines can be really long. Even if you get tickets ahead of time, you still have to wait for the elevators. Coney Island - Unless you or your husband are hugh roller-coaster fans, I'd give it a miss. If you do want to go on the Cyclone, I think it's only open on the weekends in October. Enjoy your visit. Don�t wear good walking shoes, wear great ones!...See Moredesperate mother of 3 year old/ bad behavior
Comments (4)Take a deep breath. This might be easier for us to read. I am a desperate mother of a 3 year old and everything I do doesnÂt work. He refuses to talk when IÂm around but if IÂm not there heÂs talking with no problem. HeÂs a good boy for everyone else. He can be at grandmas, his uncleÂs, or his godparents, even my fiancéÂs motherÂs house and he talks and he listens, very rarely pitches fits (which is all the time when IÂm around). As soon as I walk in he starts acting up, not listening, getting into things that he knows heÂs not supposed to get into. He wonÂt ask for anything, he whines all the time no matter how much attention I give him. It seems like its never enough. I work with him on his word books, he still acts like he canÂt talk and I know he can, its so aggravating. We have tried everything we can think of. He has a naughty chair when he is bad; he has to sit in it. That doesnÂt work, he keeps getting up or screaming, and we have a "neighbor" that lives upstairs from us and has called CPS on us because of his fits and his screaming fits. we cannot move at this moment because of how bad the economy is. But now because of CPS and their threats we are afraid to punish him and I know he knows that. These people came in my house and told me in no uncertain terms that I could not punish him in any way. The only thing I can do is give him a timeout, and IÂm sorry but in my opinion TIMEOUTS only work on a small fraction of children. My fiancé spends as much time with my son as he can because his biological father isnÂt there for him, (he knows my fiancé as daddy heÂs been the only daddy heÂs known for way over a year and a half). His behavior is out of control and its me and I donÂt know what to do anymore. I just want him to listen and talk. I feel its my fault cause after his "father" walked out on him I think I overcompensated. I would watch my son stand in front of my living room window looking and waiting for that ***hole to show up to come get him (sometimes up to 3 hours). He would just blow my son off and not come, no phone call, no nothing. Because I felt so bad for my son I lacked on the "rules" and now its come back to bite me and I donÂt know how to correct it. I NEED HELP!...See MoreFriend's 3 year old son
Comments (7)I'd like to say this. I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. My son sat nicely in his high chair when he was little. He would even get in himself, we could lower it. My daughter hates the high chair, she can escape every strap and restraint. She doesn;t stay still in booster chair, strollers, etc. So, when she started standing up in her high etc. For safety sake, we let her out and put finger foods on the tray so that she would finish. She also will "beg" from the table. In fact, I think that even when she is full, she wants whatever I am eating. We try to feed her before people come over, it's too distracting for her, so she'll sit still and eat. You wouldn't know that she has already been fed, because she wants what ever anyone else is eating. My son never begs unless it's sweets. Each child is different. Sometimes, they have to grow out of these phases. We used to be able to go to restaurants, no more. We will wait until things get better. My kids have always talked up a storm, but some of my friends have kids that just don't say much. Some of my girl friends also have 3 year olds that aren't completely potty trained. It's so convenient to keep the trusty pull up, so that they stay dry on the outside, but, they will change. I even said that we were going to wait until after the holidays, but all of the sudden, my son was ready. No more pull ups. I wasn't lazy. My son would scream for his pull up 2 months ago. Now he wants his big boy pants. My son, because he is 3, is very hard headed, bless his heart. He tantrums, and we try to figure out the best way to handle it. My daughter does too. All kids have tantrums because they want things to go their way all of the time. They want to be in control. Even if it's walking around and eating off of other peoples's plates. Until you know the whole story, don't judge your friend. I did that before I had kids with a good friend who never talks to me any more. Now that I have them, I understand what she was going thru and wish I would have been more understanding. Jainie...See Moresweeby
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