Hi Threeorange Boy- that IS frustrating! NJ must be the garden state indeed beause even though there are many attempts on my plants' lives... they never fully die. The only thing that I actually deemed dead was 2 years ago- a rose got eaten underground by voles.. Oddly enouhg- I waa too lazy to pull our the pathetic stump for a year and a half and lo and behold this spring- the darn thing grew back! I thought I killed a few things a few times- and they come back- in time for me to have another near death experience. But dont feel bad- the look terrible once this dang humidity causes mildew and the jap beetles eat everythign in sight. Wait- wait- a neighbor of mine did step on a pathetic lavendar that was nearly dead in a bad location so I had moved it to the new spot. apparently not the best relocation - he stepped on it and did it in. it did not come back! OH- and if digitalis is foxglove- I've never had luck with it. Once again this year- it was a no show. My neighbor has lots and she is gonna give me some seeds. Try try again By the way- did you recently transplant the lillies or irises? I dug all around my day lillies planting daffodils in fall and I am sure i disturbed some roots. and they didnt bloom much at ALL this year becasue of it!! Now some irises i transplanted 2 autumns ago- last spring they did nothing- 1 pathetic bloom- this year... 42 blooms. So just wait! :) Maybe all the dead plants you have arent even dead? Get lazy maybe and leave them and see if they come back.LOL. they usually do for me.

You did a great job polly929. It's funny how kids of different personalities/ages take in and process information. My own DD was starting middle school that year, and the school was opening later in the month due to renovation construction on our middle school building. I was at work that day, so DD was with my MIL and my nephew at SIL's house. After seeing just the first few minutes of network coverage (we had all conference room tvs on in the office), the first thing I did was call my MIL to ask her not to tune in at all. I didn't want my DD watching wall to wall coverage. Just didn't think it was a good thing. It was hard enough as an adult to watch. Long story short, I guess curiousity got the best of MIL, and she turned and kept the television tuned in... The issue for me with DD watching was more of the fact that there wasn't any filter. Coverage that day contained none of the warnings when that coverage is now replayed. No warnings that material may not be suitable for children, or is of a sensitive nature for some. We watched real time coverage of some horrible things. People who chose to jump from windows of the buildings rather than face burning to death. These people knew they were going to die, but thought jumping was a better way to go. Those images are forever burned in my memory. A beautiful fall day, I can even remember which suit I was wearing, every single detail of that day is still with me. By the time I could get to SIL's to pick up my DD, which wasn't all that long after my call. Our local office closed around 11 a.m., and by 1 p.m. I was answering DD's questions. Never in my wildest dreams would have imagined those questions that I would have to answer. Sure, DD was going to be a 6th grader, but it was too much to watch. DD's good friend lost her father that day, a Cantor Fitzgerald employee. We talked alot about that in particular. Why? was the biggest question from my DD. It is hard to explain "why?" to a child. The oddest thing of all IMHO, is that our school district did NOTHING, no moment of silence, no acknowledgment at all on the 9/11 anniversaries, despite the fact we had kids in attendance throughout the district lost loved ones. Go figure? I once asked DD's middle school history teacher, who happened to also be her guidance counselor, why this was. He explained that the district felt it was up to the parents to handle telling their own children about the event. Apparently, they didn't want to say anything about the event, for fear of a backlash from parents who totally shield their children. I don't agree that we shouldn't tell our kids when bad things happen. I think we should share an age appropriate amount of information, welcome all questions, and deal with those questions on an ad hoc basis. Polly, I will be thinking of you and your friend & her family on Sunday. It is comforting to have your closest friends to lean on, especially on a day that marks...

All of you are starting to really anger me. Tracystoke with her post:"yawn ,yawn ,get out and about and sniff smells" is about as disrespectful and rude as it gets. The others nitpicking and thinking they have all the answers and solutions to secrecy's desperate cry for help. I understand that he gives reasons why he can't do certain things that are suggested to him. Why is he being accused of making excuses. I see cold heartless responses and "You are the problem" when met with lack of an instant "Eureka!!!" moment default everyday suggestions that really can not work in his situation. He has and told us he has been diagnosed. He has to battle a mental illness. He is depressed. His home situation is deplorable. Does everyone think he really is possibly lazy, or doesnt want to have a job or bother looking for one, etc. etc. etc.??? HELLOOOOOO! He is reaching out for advice and telling someone with his illness and home situation to go get a job, or stay with someone else, etc. just doesn't cut it. I am sure some of the people mean well. I myself am on disability, with a couple illnesses with no cure. By the way, I also have Narcolepsy. I am stuck in an abusive situation just to keep a roof over my head and not end up homeless. Secrecy, I have a couple suggestions, and will understand if you have difficulties with them. Just try your best. The first good thing you are doing for yourself is asking for help, and sticking to your guns and not dropping off this thread and giving up (at least to as far as I have read). You do sleep so much with depression, let alone any other problems with it. If you can, try to get on several different additional forums such as one for Mental health or depression, looking for work is an insane undertaking at this point in your life. Does everyone really think that if secrecy gets a job how can he actually function with the mental and physical state he is in? Number 1, try to get help with depression, maybe getting medications, help with how to COPE with your home situation. Number 2, try to get from Mental Health doctor a referral to a sleep center to get tested for Narcolepsy. If indeed diagnosed with that too, medicine will do wonders and get you in a regular sleep cycle. If you don't have it, then,you know depression is a big factor. I am not going to guess or diagnose, just adding on to what you have told us. If you try and work with Mental Health, (therapy/meds), learn to cope with home situation (for now, not forever),(through therapy and/or support forums) - ask the people at mental health if you can qualify for their housing. Most Mental Health facilities in just about every town in the US has rooms, group homes, apts. set up for their patients. if they don't, I know they have referrals to agencies that will help. I wish you the best of luck and many blessings for your recovery from the nightmare you have been living in. Do not give up! I have a list of how to help or not help people with chronic illness written by Not Done Living: DON�T assume because I look well that I feel well. Looks can be very deceiving. Many days I look great, but I feel terrible. DON�T tell me you know how I feel. No one knows how anyone else feels. Two people with the same disease may feel totally different. We all have varying thresholds of pain, and pain cannot be measured. DON�T tell me about your great-aunt GERTRUDE and her illness, and how well she managed in spite of it. I am not AUNT GERTRUDE, and I am doing my best. DON�T tell me, "It could be worse". Yes, it could be, but I don�t need to be reminded. DON�T decide what I am capable of doing. Chronic physical illness doesn�t affect the brain. Allow me to decide what activities I can participate in. There may be times I might make the wrong decision, and if I do, I�ll know it soon enough. DON�T be upset that you cannot ease my pain. It won�t do any good for both of us to be miserable. DON�T ask me how I feel unless you really want to know. You may hear a lot more than you are prepared to listen to. DON�T assume because I did a certain activity yesterday that I can do it today. Chronic illness and pain is ever-changing. DON�T tell me about the latest fad �cure�. I want to be cured more than anything, and if there is a legitimate cure out there, my doctor will let me know. DO learn everything you can about the disease. The more you know, the better equipped you will be to know what to expect. DO realize I am angry and frustrated with the disease, not with you. DO let me know you are available to help me when I ask. I�ll be grateful. DO offer me lots of hugs and encouragement. DO understand why I cancel plans at the last minute. I never know from one day to the next how I will feel. Chronic illness is like that. DO continue to invite me to all the activities. Just because I am not able to bike ride along with the gang does not mean I can�t meet you for the picnic at the end of the trail. Please let me decide � If I cancel activities, please do not stop inviting me. I do not deserve to be shut out or forgotten and left alone. Do not give up on my life, I have a hard time doing that myself.

I don't remember ever getting an actual spanking, I am sure when I was really young I did get them just don't recall it. I would get sent to the corner however. I had gone shopping with my mom and big sister in the BIG city (we were from a very small town), they were looking for a special dress for my sister for some event. Well I was so tired of being dragged around that I crawled up under one of the round dress displays (it had a floor to it) and just fell asleep. My mom finally noticed I was not right there and went into panic mode, they searched and then started hollering then the store workers got into the act. I never heard a thing I was so insulated in my little nap spot sleeping soundly. Someone finally saw my little shoe poking out from under the dresses. My mom was about to have a stroke by then. She screamed at me then nearly hugged the stuffing out of me. I tell you one thing I never did that again. Another time I got a talking to was when mom came out on to the front porch and looked at me and my dog and said what are you eating? Well it was a box of doggie treats, but I was sharing with my dog!! I thought they were regular cookies! My dog really loved my cookies LOL I thought they were a bit dry myself. Now this one not so much did I get in trouble as did my 2 much older sisters! Our house was just down the road from my grandparents so we would walk or ride bikes back and forth. There was a huge barn at my grandparents with a hay loft and a big opening on one end to load the hay in and out of with a rope dohickey out of it to raise and lower the hay. We did not know it but my mother could see that barn and opening through the kitchen window at the sink (at our house). One day my sisters decided we would go up to the loft and swing on the rope thing, which meant we were dangling in the air very high above the ground. Then they decided to make me do it! So of course I did. They lift me up and I grab on to the rope and the push me out of the hay loft, there I was dangling. Well at that very moment my mother was at the sink and looked out and all she saw was me(her baby) dangling out of the hayloft by a rope!! I do not know how she came across that field over the fences, I think maybe she flew... My sisters got the whipping of their lives and I got the stuffing squeezed out of me again! And of course told to never do that again no matter what my stupid sisters said.