Hi Carol, Glad to see someone on here. Actually miss everyone and reading all the posts. I also still have 6 in pots. I'm thinking I will get them in the ground this week. Right now most of my time is spent mowing maple leaves for mulch for my existing gardens and to put in the new lasagna beds for next year. All my hostas are long gone, how about yours. Besides my evergreens, the only plants that still look good are my solidago (actually still very green and flowers still look good) and my Heptacodium. The leaves are still pretty much green but are starting to get a tinge of purple in them. How are your gardens doing, anything still look good? I see you are in zone 5 also.. which state? Alexis

I agree with those who say that this is just a normal stage. For some bizarre reason, in this country we expect our children to grow up and be independent at a ridiculously early age when in reality they still need quite a bit for the first several years of their life. I have found that understanding that something is normal and OK is the first step to coping with it and even ENJOYING it. New moms (and I still consider myself a "new mom" with a 17 month old, everything he does that is new is new to me too!) are constantly bombarded with advice and images of the way things SHOULD be - and of course if they are NOT that way, then you don't have a "good baby" - and if you don't have a "good baby" then who is to blame but mommy??? And 14 months may be a "toddler" officially, but he's still just a baby, who cannot express his needs any other way but by crying and clinging to who he wants - and I do believe that the emotional need of closeness to mommy is a need like any other physical need. I believe it goes back to birth and who the baby bonded with stronger - and assuming mom is the one who took maternity leave and was home longer with him, that's going to be mom. So rather than trying to explain away his behavior as something that must be "gotten over" I would advise your DIL to love every cuddle - to not worry if she can't get the housework done or whatever. Soon enough he will push her away when she wants a hug because he will not want to be taken away from whatever he's doing and she will be wondering where her affectionate little boy went. As far as what to say to Dad - that's always a tough one, especially with newer generations of dads who take a much more active involvement in their kids at a younger age than previous generations did as a whole. It sounds like Henry is not opposed to being with dad, just has a strong preference for mom when both are around. My little guy is like that lately too and what I tend to do is sit down with all three of us doing an activity and then when he is really interested in what he is doing, get up and leave. I don't sneak away but I don't make a big production over leaving either. Sometimes I just leave the house entirely and go spend an hour or two BY MYSELF (ah heaven). It usually takes him a couple of hours to notice I am even gone and go looking for me and then another hour or so after that to start to get cranky that I haven't come back yet - but if I am around it's "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" (he is starting to talk now and it's his new favorite word ;) - which is nice after 16 months of "Daddy" for everything!) But above all your son should not take it personally. By natural design for the sake of survival, babies and young children are totally self absorbed and can only deal with what THEY need. He is not behaving this way to hurt dad, he is behaving this way because he needs mom. It doesn't mean he doesn't love daddy, it just means that daddy does not meet that particular need at that moment in time. And tell him not to even think about what other kids are doing. It doesn't matter one bit to your child, so why should it matter to him? Kids do things at their own pace and on their own schedule - at least mine does. He does not do anything on millisecond before he is ready - but when he finally is ready, watch out world! DH is an extremely loving and involved father and I'm sure it bugs him when my son pushes away from him and wants me but he understands and doesn't take it personally. Sometimes he does get into a funk about it but we just talk about it and work through it. And as with all other things involving kids "this too shall pass."

Ok - now let me save your life. It is not any of the things mentioned above. These are all excuses that we make when our children will not sleep. It is all in the timing. PLEASE take this advice. Click on the link below and buy the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. He is a Dr, he works with children, he has studied at sleep centers, he specializes in SLEEP - not parenting like most other authors of sleep methods or sleep books. My first child was extremely fussy, and didn't even take a nap without me holding him much less sleep through the night until I read this book. He would fall asleep but never stay asleep. He was six months old when I read this book. Within two weeks he was taking 2 two hour naps a day and sleeping 10 - 12 hours at night. I breastfed him exclusively until he was 9 months old. I do not like my children to cry himself to sleep at night (I have two boys, pg with #3). That is why I didn't like the other methods. With his method, they don't have to. The secret is all in the timing. They will have to cry A LITTLE - but not cry themselves to sleep. It is amazing. I wish I would have had this book when my first was first born. Thank God and a very good friend who recommend it to me that I have used it with number 2 and now will use it with number three. It is never too late. Get it now!! Good luck! It is hard but you will NEVER feel better than you will after a couple of weeks of a GOOD NIGHT's SLEEP!! And, your child will feel much better too! BTW - I started with the naps for about one and a half weeks and then waited until the weekend when DH was home to do the night sleeping. Here is a link that might be useful: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

The only thing you can do is to keep taking him back to his room and laying him down and telling him it's time to go to bed. Try saying it in a stern voice. It will take time to get this to sink into his head. I think he will wake up for a while during the night because it's something new~think of when you go stay at someone else's house or in a hotel or something and you can't sleep right. If you worry about him getting up and you not knowing it~like he doesn't come into your room~we used to take one of the baby gates and just lean it agaist the doorway so he would push it over when he was coming out. The noise would wake me and our room is pretty far away from his. DS was about 18 months when he started sleeping in his bed and he's almost 3 now and no problems anymore. ~Leslie~