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Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

Posted by Catalina_AR (My Page) on
Wed, Jan 30, 02 at 13:39

Hi, I have a 4 year old daughter who will turn 5 on August 16th. SHe makes the cutoff by 14 lousy days (Sepember 1st)which means if she had waited 2 more weeks, I wouldn't be agonizing over this now. I am really relunctant to send her to kindergarten and I have to know if it is for purely selfish reasons and how much it will effect her later. If I send her this year, she will always be the youngest in her class. How will that effect her later when the other girls are reaching puberty ahead of her and are into boys and she is not ready. Or if I wait, she will be one of the oldest. I think this wont be so bad since she will always have a year extra maturity on the other kids and wont be so easily influenced.
A few other factors: she is intellectually very bright, has an outstanding vocabulary and can figure out complex problems. But she is very clingy, still nurses (please no negative comments about this)and gets easily upset when scolded. I lost her brother before she was born so she is all I have, my miracle baby so I know that has a lot to do with my relunctance to let her go. I am an older mom, 48 and I do worry about being here when she is older. I think will being 62 or 63 really be that big a difference when she graduates.
I need to make a decision by next week because that is when registration is for the coming year. Thankyou and if at all possible, please email me. I never receive followups even when I check the followup box!
shmilybear78@cs.com


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

Can you register her, but if you decided come August, that you don't want her in school, let them know????
I'd preregister her and take the next few months to really work on what you want and what she needs.
They can't make you send her to school...But atleast she would be preregistered incase she and you are ready...
I was one of the youngest in my class too...Did matter one way or the other for me...I turned 18 in July after Graduation.
My brother was one of the oldest in his...He fit in too.(He's a November baby.)
My oldest son, who is the only one of school age at the moment is an April baby...so pretty much a younger one, but in the middlish. He's a big kid, and a bit advanced in some areas of learning..
He's currently in a 4/5 split class room, as a 4th grader, who is actually in more 5th grade "work" groups than any other 4th grader in the two similar class rooms.

So, I don't think any of your concerns are really about your daughter "handling" school...It's about what you want, and feel you need.
Kids are extremely adaptable...I think you just need to sort out this in reguards to you. She'll be fine either way...Of that I'm almost positive.


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

My birthday happens to be September 1 and I too was also one of the youngest. (though for us the cutoff was Feb) It made no difference and I think it more has to do with the temperment of your child. I agree with Terri in that preregistering will do no harm. Good luck on whatever you decide! :)

Danielle


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

IF you are not comfortable, why not wait?


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

I need to make the same decision. I always thought my son would be one of the oldest in his class, but this year my state changed the cutoff so that my son now makes it by 3 weeks. I've had a lot of people tell me "if in doubt, hold him out".

My son attends preschool (2 hours, 3x per week) and his teacher has been a great source of feedback. If your daughter goes to any sort of preschool/Sunday school/library program, maybe you could talk to her teacher for an objective viewpoint. If not, you could go ahead and register her for kindergarten, then enroll her now in some sort of program for a few months to see how she does with other children who would be in her class. Like others said, there's no harm in enrolling her, then continuing to evaluate her readiness up until August.

Another thing that has helped is volunteering in my daughter's kindergarten class. I had thought I would definitely hold my son back, but now that I've spent time in a kindergarten classroom, I feel pretty confident that my son would be fine. Our kindergarten teachers are always looking for helpers - maybe you could volunteer as well.

hth!


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

My brother (a year younger than me) was one of the youngest in his class (August 12, 1978) and his classmate (one of my girlfriends) was one of the oldest in the same class (August 23, 1977). They both managed fine, had lots of friends, and were successful in school. Personally, I'd want to be one of the youngest in the class vs. one of the oldest (especially being female - due to the whole "developing" issue.) Because Lori was practically a year older than the other classmates she developed before the other girls and was hounded by the boys. (Just think, would you want to have your first period before all your friends?) Put yourself in your DD's shoes. Would you rather be younger or older than the majority of your classmates? A year doesn't matter in the "real" world but it might to a youngster.

You, of course, will be the only one who knows if your DD is ready to go to school or not. (Or, if you're ready for her to go to school yet). Honestly, there's really no wrong answer - either way she (and you) will be fine!


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

I am a preschool teacher and our 4 year old teacher recommends almost every child close to the cut off wait a year. Kindergarten is so much like first grade used to be when we were young. It isnt going to hurt to wait. I would recommend you put her in some type of structured activity such as preschool, gymnastics, ect. I had turned 4 on July30 and started school the begining of August. I was very bright, but not mature enough yet to handle the social situations. I would get so upset I would vomit every morning at school. It affected me for the next 10 years. I hated school. I've always felt that if my mom had put me in preschool or waited another year I would have been fine. Good Luck!


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

I agree that your daughter will do FINE whichever you decide. But you know her best... I was always the oldest in my class, and because I was also somewhat precocious, I was bored through most of grade school. My brother, who was always one of the youngest, had a learning disablity and often fell behind. I think it would have been better for us if it had been the other way around. BUT we are both college-educated now, and are doing fine. I don't remember any of the other things you mention -- like puberty -- being much of an issue. I think girls vary so in the area, that there will always be girls who are ahead and girls who are behind (not necessarily related to age). I say, go with your gut instinct based on what you know about your daughter. Also, is she is some sort of preschool or daycare now? If not, you may want to consider that for a few days a week, to make the transition easier on both of you. Good luck!


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

Call the kindergarten. One of the catholic schools here has a '4-ish' class and a '5-ish' class, due to this age being at all stages of maturity. And this school found that having two styles of class really helped! And if the child matured during the year, they would move to the 5-ish class. Occasionally, she said a child would not mature enough for 1st grade, and would do a year in the 4-ish, and a year in the 5-ish (repeating kindergarten), so that they hit 1st grade with just the right combination of skills and maturity.


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RE: Kindergarten, to wait or not to wait. need to know this week!

My B-day is Aug 19. My mom never held me back. I'd rather be the youngest in class than the oldest so people wouldn't think I failed.


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