Annoying Braggers

22 years ago

I have a 10 1/2 month old and I would like to voice my opinion about moms that brag.

Just because you baby seem more advanced than others, please don't point out how smart and gifted your baby is; we'll be able to see it for ourselves. Parents' whose babies aren't as bright are really hurt when you start comparing your baby to theirs.

All babies are different. Not all babies are future Einsteins, so please stop bragging as your smart child might not do too well when she goes to school. Every child developes at a different pace.

We don't need you to tell us how cute your baby is. We'd rather hear you say how cute our babies are.

Don't brag about your baby not getting a lot of sleep. It's a problem, not an accomplishment.

Please don't point out if our baby has a big head; we are aware of it. And don't tell us that there is something wrong with our child because she throws up at the drop of a hat. Some babies take more time to develope their gestational systems than others. If our baby throws up and we think there is a problem, we would have asked our Ped.; we do not need your advice.

Most parents are more concerned about their babies being healthy and happy than bright and loud. We do not enjoy kids screaming at the top of the lungs for fun. It is not cute even if you think it is .

If we want our baby to learn 'tricks', we will teach her ourselves. We do not want or need your help.

If we want your advice, we will asked for us for it. Please do not feel free to advice us no matter how close a friend you are ( or family ). Unless we are harming our kids on purpose, it is up to us how we want our kids brought up. We do not want your opinion. Thanks, but no thanks.

Most of all, just stop bragging about your kids and just keep her/him happy.

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Comments (7)

cindy_lou_who
22 years ago
I agree!!

I have 3 kids, and all 3 did things at differnet ages.

My second didn't walk until she was about 16 mos. People can be so rude when it comes to things like that. "Why isn't she walking yet?" or "That's because you never put her down to let her walk". Believe me, if she would walk, I would have put her down. It would have been much easier at times.

I have a frined that CONSTANTLY brags about her DS's accomplishments. She is quick to point out the fact that my 2 yr old still has a pacifier. However she sees no problem with the fact that her baby will not leave her lap, for anything. He sleeps with her, always has to be carried, and she even holds him while using the restroom.

I would take my 2 yr old with a pacifier any day, over hers that does not know how to amuse himself.

I am not saying it is wrong to interact at all....I am saying that he needs to learn to comfort himself as well.
blessedin2000
22 years ago
Ditto. My almost 2 year old son is delayed due to medical malpractice and I am having a hard time dealing with it yet a girlfriend of mine insists on bragging about her child constantly everytime we talk! How she walks, talks, how smart she is, etc. Now I am glad that my girlfriend is a great mom and that she has a healthy child because NO child deserves to be neglected but in our situation, less is more.
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It's a conversational skill, to be able to change the topic of someone else's monolog in a friendly or at least diplomatic way. Their topic could be anything, which is why it's a general skill and not restricted to 'bragging' per se. Concentrate on your breathing, count to 10 internally or whatever you need to do in order not to feel too frustrated or angry or irritiated. Then try to add something that can take the conversation in a slightly different direction. It can still be about whatever the child did, only in a more general way; or about something else which might be at least a little related even if it's a bit of a tangent. Asking a question in that way can sometimes work to change the topic and let the talker keep on talking. Sometimes, especially with something that feels to the listener like bragging, aknowledgement can curb things. A simple kind of 'he's lucky to have you and you him' or something else that kind of pats her on the back verbally. Basically, give her some feedback that lets her feel like someone else on the planet notices her efforts, and her child's little new successes. Different people have different habits of expression, and different interpretations for what they hear. Try to grant your friend any benefit of the doubt because she may not be intending to be tiresome, or to brag. What you hear may be her best attempts to convey information about what's new for her child or in her child's life. Even if your method of delivery is very different try to react to her as you would like people to react to you when you try to share information about your own child. general conversational techniques will work, or be gentle with her and share your feelings (don't forget she is a 'friend' and a human being who is probably doing her best, just as you are even though she may have a habit you find irritating)
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Oh my goodness does this bring back memories from my daughter's school days. Glad you received an apology and better yet, your DD and granddaughter know who to avoid in the future. My DD went to private schools and unfortunately we had a few of entitled parents who were amusing at best, annoying to down right psycho at worst. I agree with your DD that it is best in the long run to take the path of least resistance when dealing with such a person. Years later you get to see the fruits of their labor and usually it isn't pretty and sometimes down right sad.
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Since It does appear you posted with the intention of getting feedback on your choices, you gotta take the good with the bad. A fair statement. Let’s be real, the OP posted to fish for compliments. Twice! The same bathroom appears in two different threads! I am not washing off soot from a coal mine nor do I dye my hair in the shower. Maybe I'm being argumentative, but I do sometimes wash dirty-dirty things in my shower; for example, my stinky dog (don't know what we'll do in our new house when we don't have door to corral him) ... big coolers that we've taken camping ... trash cans. I love that I can bring big things into that fairly large space, wash them with the hand-held shower, then leave them to drip-dry. Why not use your shower for more than washing people? It just seems smart. As for hair dye, I never considered that it would stain marble, but that does sound like a good reason to go with marble-look porcelain, which is more difficult to damage. It seems wrong that an expensive luxury item provides lesser function that a moderately-priced item. One of my family's not-so-welcome traits is that we all go gray early. Seriously, at our family reunions, it's ridiculously noticeable! I've been good friends with Ms Clairol for quite some time now, and I'm glad that I can use that $7 box instead of making a trip to the salon. OP: Even if you don't use hair dye now, you probably will at some point in the future -- the majority of my same-aged friends do. Sophie you must be having a bad day. I always skip Sophie's posts.
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whazzup
22 years ago
Usually the biggest problem with the braggart is that they don't come up for air! All parents love their children and are proud of them. A polite person will allow you time to talk about your children too. It's nice when they actually stop long enough to inquire about how my children are doing and then give me time to elaborate a little bit.
cindy_lou_who
22 years ago
Blessed,
I know where you're coming from. My DD, the one who took the longest to walk, has CP. I can't tell you how many doctors we went ot, all said NOTHING was wrong with her. Didn't get the diagnosis until she was about 3.

It's not just friends, it's family too. I keep hearing how my nephew was tying his shoes at 5. My DD physically cannot tie her own shoes. She will learn, but probably not this year, and maybe not next year. But she will learn.

Maybe because she is not as severe as some children with CP, in fact, most people don't notice it. It is her entire left side that she has trouble with, so when she does things, she uses one hand. She is as smart as anyone else in her class, it's just the physical stuff that people comment on that gets me.
blessedin2000
22 years ago
Hi Cindy! That's sounds like my son. Since he's still little (23 months) I can carry him or have him in the stroller without anyone knowing anything is wrong. I've had people say "he doesn't look like anything is wrong". Yeah, I'm just making it up! I didn't know that disabled children had labels on their foreheads! He can crawl, pull up on things and sit on his own but the minute you stand him up, he falls. He WILL walk one day on his own. I will BRAG on how he walks with a reverse walker, can eat almost all by mouth now (was totally tube fed) and is the smartest and sweetest boy around!! God bless! Karen
nadastimer
22 years ago
I thought of something that pertains to this, also. Our son was born two months premature and if I had to hear one more time that he would be behind because he was a premie, I thought I would kill. I especially couldn't stand it when I saw my friend's aunt who had her baby around the time Shane was to be born. She always said Daniel was ahead of Shane because he was premature, even though he was born first! Daniel was like 6 months old and was as big as a 1 year old and she claimed it was just because Shane was born earlier and was smaller. He was small and just caught up to other kids his age in the past few months but his Dad and I weren't huge babies or toddlers either. He was actually about the same as we were. If you consider that he was maybe behind by a week or two of what the books said he should be doing slow, then he was slow. But I think there really isn't a kid that is right on with those things. Shane is almost 3 and I think he's pretty smart (don't all mothers think they're kids are smart, though? LOL)

~Leslie~
Pam_from_the_PNW
22 years ago
When DD was little, I had a friend who had a daughter the same age (1 1/2 weeks difference) and the mother always had to one-up every single accomplishment DD had. At 6 months, this friend claimed that Katie knew all her colors. THE KID COULDN'T EVEN TALK YET! How could she know her colors?

Then, DD was very petite, while Katie was very chubby, so DD started walking months ahead of my friend's baby. No biggie. It was cute that she walked early, but SO WHAT? This friend would literally lift her baby by the arms and practically drag her around so it looked like she was walking or would say things like, "Katie's walking like a pro at home, she just doesn't like to do it in front of people." So as soon as Katie really did walk (at 14 months or so), the next challenge was to say that she was potty trained. No matter how many diapers she changed this friend would claim, "Katie's potty trained now." How many 14 month old babies who just learned how to walk are potty trained?? Puhleez. I think the kid learned to do things even later than usual because of all the pressure from the mom.

We only get in contact with each other on a rare occasion now (thankfully) but every time we do, it's still the same deal with bragging.

Pam

Annoying Braggers

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cindy_lou_who

blessedin2000

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