3 year old toddler transitioning from Crib to bed...Many Problems

15 years ago

I have read similar posts on this forum regarding our problem. We have been trying to transition our almost 3 year old daughter from her crib to a big girl bed (currently her crib with one side off of it). We have had numerous problems keeping her in bed and in her room. She is currently no longer sleeping where before she was a very good sleeper in her crib. And, we have tried several things to see if they would work...they have not.

With the door open, my daughter will leave her room wanted to either be with us, or to listen to our conversations. We would bring her back into her bed and repeat this process. However this process for has continued for 3 hours!!! Then she will wake up a few hours later and continue.

We tried a gate at her door, did not work. Would not only try to climb out, but actually said, "This is for puppy dogs, don't keep me in like a dog!"

We tried leaving her bedroom door shut...which contains her. This is the option that I most wanted. However here is some of the stuff that she has done with the door closed: Emptied out all her books and violently threw them across the room, actually slept for 3 nights in a row on the floor near her bedroom door, took off all her closed, and dressed herself in regular clothes, urinated on the bedroom floor, and the most disturbing one...climbed up her bedroom furniture to turn on the light.

Our dilemma is this: this was all with her current crib with no siding on one side of it. We are getting a mattress and boxspring that is a full sized one. DO WE LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN WHERE SHE CAN CONTINUE TO WANDER OUR UPSTAIRS, OR DO WE DARE LEAVE THE DOOR SHUT AGAIN? She hasn't slept much at all now for approximately 1 week (average amount of sleep each night is 4-7 hours), and we haven't slept either.

I don't think I can physically handle placing her back in bed 30 times within the evening. However if we choose that tactic, it leaves us with no down time. If we decide to keep her door shut, I don't want her hurting herself. She is a lovely, extremely bright, and manipulative child. PLEASE HELP!!!

Comments (4)

Adella Bedella
15 years ago
Have you tried offering a reward for staying in her bed all night?

As far as transitioning to the new bed, let her help pick out her new bedding so she has some involvement. You might pick out a couple of options in advance and let her choose from those other she might go off on a whole new theme. Brag up how she is such a big girl to get the new bed. Have you friends and neighbors brag her up too.

My kids liked to turn the light on too. I fixed the problem by getting (I don't know what this is called) a thing I could screw into the light socket. It sort of looks like a light socket. You can buy them at Wal-Mart back by the light switch covers. Anyway, it had a pull chain on it (some come with an extra outlet). I would just turn the light off at the bulb every night so flipping the switch didnt work. I put a night light in the extra outlet so the kids can't reach it.

I would move the furniture away from the light switch so she doesn't have a reason to be climbing.

Since your dd seems to enjoy her time in isolation, I would probably leave the door open. Give her a consequence for every time she wanders out. You may have to take away a toy or some other action. Don't sit and talk to her. Make a simple statement and return her to bed. After the first time, just use a gesture and no words. Don't let her have the attention she's wanting. If she knows you mean business, she'll quit.

Good luck! She will get over this.
christy2828
15 years ago
I would continue to close the door. We are going through a similar situation and I'd say it took about a week to stop her from opening the door and sneaking around upstairs. I let her know that she could only leave her room if she had to go potty, and just kept bringing her back into her room. Eventually just calling "go back to bed!!" worked. As for what goes on in her room, I allow her that freedom. I usually put her to bed between 8 and 9 and I usually go to bed around 11. I always check on her before I go to bed and I find her asleep and naked, fully clothed in stuff she found in drawers, shoes on, sleeping on the floor, light on, toys in bed with her, books in bed with her, and sometimes just sleeping. I reclothe her, relocate her, tuck her in and kiss her and turn off the light. Half the time she is tired enough to just go to bed, but many nights she is up to something. Something that worked in the beginning was getting her a special night light just for little girls sleeping in big girl beds. As for climbing on furniture to turn on the light, this is the solution I came up with. I got some cheap tubing from HD or Lowe's, some wire, and some replacement curtain handles. We fabricated what I call a lightswitch extender, and now she can reach the lights. We put it in several rooms for her. Good luck :) Christy
Related Discussions
Transition to College: Packing up Childhood Bedroom
Q
Comments (20)
Barb5, I think you are right -- cleaning out the room is dredging up feelings that she did not expect. Compounding the issue is that none of her friends have to deal with this. They have larger homes, no younger siblings w/space needs, and are financially better off which makes this even more "unfair." I keep reassuring her that the rest of the house is exactly the same and will still feel and BE home, even if she's moved down the hall. I also said I will pay for her transportation home and she can come home any time she wants, no questions asked (within reason of course) so she knows we're here for her and this is her home. As for the timing, well we have talked about it for weeks and she didn't want to be surprised by any changes. She thought it would be harder on her to be uninvolved. Now that we're in the middle of it, I can see there'd be problems no matter how we approached it. From a practical standpoint, Sooner was better because DH is a hoarder. Every wall covered with magazine clippings, posters, etc, piles of books, notebooks, art supplies, dishes, etc. everywhere. I didn't know how I was going to get her organized and packed if we didn't strip it down. There's also a scheduling issue -- she's due at school Aug. 19, and since we're on vacation the first week of August and packing her up the second week the last two weeks of July are the best time (given my schedule and vacation schedules) to get it done. I've tried coming up with a compromise to ease her worries but my husband takes a firm line: it's not fair to keep the younger child crammed into his room once she's gone. She's had the bigger nicer room for 15 years (we lived elsewhere until she was 3) and it's now our son's turn. We've always repurposed space as the family's needs change, and that's what this is, in DHs opinion. He doesn't want to coddle her at our son's expense. Maybe I'm the coddler -- I'm feeling very torn here...
...See More
Sleep Problems - Problem #2 (long)
Q
Comments (6)
Keep a baby observation journal. Divide up her days into time blocks and write out what you do and what you notice about her responses. Just take notes for a few days. Try to cover a time period where she has a couple of later nights and a couple of earlier nights. Go back and check to see when or if she took naps or had different activities those days. Look for patterns you can work with. Ideas for helping a baby re-settle themselves are to go to them if they are used to that, and give them some verbal attention and touch. But, keep everything quiet and supportive (no gymnastics; to help them keep clear about 'bedtime' and 'nighttime' versus 'gymnastics time'). A basic problem with always letting a baby's own inclinations lead is that in human relationships there are multiple sets of human needs which have to be balanced. The adults have _needs_ which may rightly include 2 hours of quiet time for you before your sleep time. That is important for you to experience in order to feel rested and on top of your game, and to be the best mother you can be for your baby. Your baby needs you to be on top of your game. Maybe work on a transition routine with her for those last 2 hours. Help her wind up her play time. Maybe have a quiet hour of infant massage and soft baby bedtime music. Even for adults, the need for and ability to just fall asleep isn't always the same every day. Usually adults can figure out personal strategies that help them fall asleep. Or, they will have learned how to have their own quiet time in bed (reading, or thinking, or writing, or something else). Babies can slowly learn this kind of thing by having adult support and contact where needed, but not too much added stimulation. If you're going by feel, and in a pinch when she does wake up if she does seem to be very energetic and in need of some exercise it might buy some time to have her do exercises or something stimulating. Be careful because this can be confusing and can become a problematic pattern. But, if your sanity is on the line and you're at the end of your adult coping resources, it's better to risk the negative pattern (which can still be undone later) than to risk your having a breakdown. After the exercise, infant massage can help her (and you) relax and unwind. you can experiment with cutting out a nap, or reducing nap time (interfere with sleep time by about 15 minutes at a time because that won't be too big a change usually and you will notice pretty quickly if it's a 15 minutes she 'needed' or if it's 15 minutes you can rearrange in her sleep schedules)
...See More
Help! He won't stay in his toddler bed!
Q
Comments (5)
The only thing you can do is to keep taking him back to his room and laying him down and telling him it's time to go to bed. Try saying it in a stern voice. It will take time to get this to sink into his head. I think he will wake up for a while during the night because it's something new~think of when you go stay at someone else's house or in a hotel or something and you can't sleep right. If you worry about him getting up and you not knowing it~like he doesn't come into your room~we used to take one of the baby gates and just lean it agaist the doorway so he would push it over when he was coming out. The noise would wake me and our room is pretty far away from his. DS was about 18 months when he started sleeping in his bed and he's almost 3 now and no problems anymore. ~Leslie~
...See More
Modern baby cribs
Q
Comments (15)
All of us alive now lived through unsafe practices, but that doesn't mean they are safe. Car seats, in particular, reduce the risk of death by 71% in infants under a year old. You can be the safest driver in the world and it won't matter if somebody else slams into your car and the force of physics throws your child out of your arms and into the windshield. Since the recommendation, based on studies has suggested putting babies to sleep on their back without blankets and bumpers, SIDS rates have dropped dramatically. I'm sure some of those moms in the 50s- 80s whose babies died from SIDS wish they could go back and do it the "modern" way, even if others around them laughed. Drop side cribs were outlawed after years of recalls and over 30 children dying because the side came detached at the base and suffocated or strangled infants. My oldest 2 daughters were in drop side cribs, when the recall and ban happened and the company sent me repair kits to switch the beds to fixed side. With my next two, yes, it was slightly more of a pain but I wouldn't go back to drop side. Even my mom realized the issue and she and I took a saw to her old drop side from the 90s that she had kept for keeping grandbabies and threw it in the trash so no one else would try to use it. She has given me a hard time about modern parenting safety until I reminded her that she was an early adopter of car seats, before they were required and I'm sure she got chastized by her family for it. I sure do wish they still had merry-go-rounds on the playground though!
...See More
sheilajoyce_gw
15 years ago
I would put the crib away. Place a box springs on the floor. Tuck in the sheets and blanket tightly. Tuck her in, shut the door, and finally resort to a swat on her bottom if nothing else worked. I know people don't like physical punishment, but if it is a safety/health factor, I have no problem with it. Maybe she would like some calming music playing, and a stuffed animal too, though you may have tried these already.
isunormalil
15 years ago
Hi everyone! I am new to the board, and am googling this same problem. I have a 2 year old little boy that started climbing out of his crib 3 weeks ago. My wife and I decided to move him to a big boy bed in fear that he could hurt himself climbing out. He sleeps well a few nights a week, and doesn't on certain nights. His habits are identicle to the characteristics above. I have noticed if he doesn't take a nap he seems to sleep through the night. However the babysitter insist he take a nap, and we stay up at night.

3 year old toddler transitioning from Crib to bed...Many Problems

Comments (4)

Adella Bedella

christy2828

Related Discussions

sheilajoyce_gw

isunormalil

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US