I quit smoking on March 17 of this year. My husband had just been to his doctor 2 days before that and advised my husband for the umpteenth time to quit smoking. He's a diabetic with emphysema and COPD - he has told us numerous times what can happen to a diabetic smoker. So, I had been wanting to quit anyway and on the l7th I made my decision to quit that day and told my husband that it would be nice if he would try and quit too. So, he said he would give it a try and cut down on his smoking. We were just starting out on a spring road trip. From a pack and a half smoker a day, he went to smoking just a couple of cigarettes a day, with me nagging him all along. We were gone for 2 and a half weeks on that trip and he probably smoked one pack of cigarettes the whole time. Now, he still smokes but only occasionally. He's a social smoker so that makes it hard for him when we are in a social atmosphere, then he will break out the cigarettes and smoke. He started out pretty good, maybe smoking 3 cigarettes in one whole evening. But now he's got it up to maybe 10 or 12 (maybe more) and he says he's doing fine. I can see him getting drawn back into his old bad habits. Although, he doesn't smoke in the house or in our pickup, I am afraid that he will start up again. I haven't smoked since the 17th of March and to tell the truth I don't miss it a bit. I smoked for 30 years. I don't miss the stinky smell of stale butts anymore and I can truly say that I feel a whole lot better. Once in awhile I get an urge, but it quickly goes away. The benefits of NOT smoking, truly outweigh the pleasure of smoking. Now, I just need to keep working on him.

I used the Chantix too! It was nothing next to a miracle. Chantix is a prescription drug (a pill) that your doctor can prescribe. A friend recommended it to me after she quit her habit of 30 + years. I started taking the Chantix pill and didn't even think about quitting smoking. I did smoke less without even thinking about it. On day 12 I was getting ready for bed and I realized, "hey, I didn't smoke at ALL today!" I can't tell you how great that felt. Each day after that I didn't smoke and it didn't seem like I was being deprived or white knuckeling it! I continued taking the pills for a few more weeks when I decided that I just wasn't going to smoke, pill or no pill anymore. It is now over 6 months for me. The prescription did cause me to have some really wacky dreams! It is a psychological drug, so I think if you are having depression or other mental issues it may not be for you. Someone commited suicide while on Chantix so they got a lot of bad publicity. But personally I feel that person PROBABLY had some underlying issues beforehand. I have recommeneded it to long time smokers without trying to be preachy (just because I'd like them to feel the power I feel by not being saddled by cigarettes!) Many of them said they would never put a prescription in their systerm to quit! Yet on a daily basis they are lighting up and putting known carcenogens into their body, so I figure they are just making an excuse. Ladyofdirt, if you are reading this and you still need a method to quit I would encourage you to try the Chantix. Best wishes to you!

WOW! From the bottom of my heart Thank You Thank You Thank You all! I loved and greatly appreciated the hugs and support, commiseration and encomium. I guess it's true: misery loves company! Although I am so sorry anyone has to feel stress during what should be an exciting, wonderful time. (Guess this applies to both remodeling as well as child-rearing, although it's laughable to think either could be without stress! Thats why two of my favorite parenting books are The B**ch in the House and Mothers Who Think.) You know the way the child of an alcoholic might be reluctant to ever drink for fear of turning into their parent? For me, that's the way I feel about yelling. My mother was mean as spit and her yelling was ugly, personal, belittling and usually segued into hitting. I'm sure this is why my yelling at my children rattled me so. I waited a long time to start my family (I was 34 when I had my first) so that I could go through therapy to ensure I did not turn into my mother. (I think this is common here in the States, not wanting to turn into our parents!) So more than you know, I sincerely, deeply appreciate the comments of telling me I handled it well and that I'm a good mother and haven't scarred my children for life. That's my biggest fear -- I mean, I am terrified of heights, but the fear of hurting my children paralyzes me. Yesterday (day after yelling) my 3.5 year-old and I attended a birthday party, dressed, at his urging (this was not a costume party), as Spiderman and Spidermom. He wanted everyone to know "we're superheroes together!" After we got home, my 19 month-old asked me for a "tickle-cuddle," so I guess they've both forgiven me as well as moved past it. Kids are more resilient than I give them credit for. Phew! hilltophome, I think you are right, that I need to just put the cats in the basement (where we hang out lots so they won't be without human companionship) because their long-term well-being is much more important than their short-term sun-worshiping. And with a wonderful user name like cat_mom, I bet she'll agree! kitchenkelly, thank you for the use of your morgue drawers! Even though I have a foul mouth and talk a big talk, I'm a pacifist, so I'm really hopeful I won't borrow them. But it'll make an excellent threat to the next jerk who crosses my path! (re: my foul mouth: The night of the dirty bathroom, my 3.5 year-old asked his daddy "Why's Dux [his name for me] 'so f***ing angry?'" Ahem.) Francy, thank you both for letting me know you've walked in my shoes as well as saying I handled it well! Coming from you, who has such a sweet presence here on GW, means a lot. raehelen and hilltophome, thank you for reminding me of two of my favorite self-soothers: chocolate and exercise. I really do need to just put the kiddos in the buggy and go out for a walk! Fresh air can do wonders. And if there's a chocolate treat for the three of us to have midway on our walk, all the better. (This is how I know the boys are genetically mine: they both love chocolate. One of my proudest achievements Â.) divamum, thank you for your impeccable list of daily to-dos and reminder of how hard this is supposed to be .... I'd really thought I was prepared after months of reading (hardships) here on GW, but clearly for some of it I was not. Need to renew my prescription for Perfect Pills! (note to self: first discover "Perfect Pills") plllog, thank you for telling me to forgive myself. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing for us to do, no? I remember a few years ago a casual acquaintance and I were chatting about how we never, ever heard our parents apologize to us when they were wrong, and how much it would have meant to us to have heard it. Not just because it would have made us feel appreciated but also because it would have been a great model for us in terms of how to behave. Thank you. And I loved your note about my husband relating to spa day! Now there's a brilliant idea. .... polly929, my hero! I am so sorry about the past two years -- hopefully this leap year will signal the start of something good for you. Bless your heart for working in healthcare (what you must see ...) and having no foul-language filter -- love it! socalthreems, I have loved following your kitchen and I am grateful for your nice note. I am with you on the no-smoking! And thank you for suggesting those ground rules. They are superb and have already (because of your suggestion) been passed on to the GC. Also, thank you for your perfect description of "feel[ing] the steam rising." That's it! But it seems like lots of the parents with whom I casually chat 'round here are either big-time prevaricators or Stepford Mommies; they absolutely deny getting frustrated with their kiddos (or occasionally bored with hanging out with toddlers all day long). That's when I wonder what in the hell must be wrong with me to feel this way? Many thanks to you and Francy for telling me I'm not alone. westsider40, from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry about ez (which could not be more apt a description!). I guess it's just easy for me to chalk it up to cultural differences, but I guess some people are just born that way. One silver lining for me is that living with my ez has made me so much stronger, forceful than I ever thought I could be. Because of dealing with his non-presence in many areas I've found a voice (okay, a yelling voice the other day!). I would rather he step up to bat every so often, but I do like the feeling of the empowerment I've developed while living with him. flyleft and mommycooks, thank you for your generous, unconditional support! Such kindness from people I donÂt even know. You and your notes are what should be in one of those MasterCard "Priceless" commercials! And, flyleft, the insurance with which I'm having trouble is ... United! Imagine that. I am so ticked about this, that medical insurance agencies are for-profit entities, and that now many of them are transferring their call centers off-shore, to minimize what they have to pay (US taxes, US salaries, US health care to their workers, etc.)! I guess I may be one of the stupidest people alive because for the life of me I still cannot understand why denying people legitimate, preventive / proactive healthcare is not as good as letting them get sick, suffer and / or die, or making them wait so that the treatment they will require ends up costing the insurance company even more. Seriously, what am I not getting? You all are amazing. IÂll never forget this.

gemini, I don't know if it was my question that got your goat, but mine was a genuine, out of curiosity, wanting to learn question. If you choose you can go back up and read it. So far nobody has responded to it. Briefly, my question is - other than perceived expense or desire for a litter, what is the reason a person would choose not to have their pet neutered? I'll answer it for myself in reverse. I choose to have my pets neutered because I don't want any litters, it is healthier for the pet, it is more happier for the pet, it makes living with the pet easier (not going through those heats of a female or frantic humping by the male). I believe it's ethically and healthwise the better choice. So that's why I choose to neuter my pets. I really, really am interested, without judgement, in hearing what factors people who choose not to neuter considered and what kept them on the "not neuter" page. "Because I choose not to" doesn't answer that question. Can anyone?