Two years ago, DH insisted that I retire (I had worked 32 years) to take care of my health. It took me one year to get off of my heart meds. Then, it took me this past year to go from mammos every 6 months to now back to 1 per year. I'm finally making progress on getting rid of the crazy weight that I gained on the meds and from feeling bad, working without any energy to do enough exercise, work stress, et. I've now lost 15 lbs since January 9th and feeling great. I've found that I can lose weight only about 7-10 days a month. I have plateaus that last 3+ weeks at a time, then the weight falls off, then back to the plateau...hormones! Now that I've kept my daily diary of food, exercise, aches and pains, etc. I can understand, rather than get discouraged, during those plateaus. It takes perseverance. DH told me again yesterday how good my hair and skin is looking and we think it's because we've stopped eating foods with preservatives as much as possible. He's eating the same foods, losing weight and looking and feeling better, too. My mom died at 51 and my dad at 65 of preventable illnesses, so I understand the importance of taking care of myself. We also look at early retirement as being retired from the long careers, but doing something different after we feel like we've got our health and fitness under control. We prepared for this. Over the years that we've been together, we've analyzed our expenses, retirement funds and savings to fully understand our financial situation. I'm excited about DH's retirement and will give him my full support. Cameron

My DIL is pregnant and has settled on a very trendy name. I loathe trendy, but it's not my choice. We used all family names for our kids, and I've suggested a few names that we had't used, but I know it's up to them. One thing I wish these girls would consider today is that lots of these trendy names, which sound like last names, or place names are being used more and more for little girls, and little boys very much dislike having a name the same as a girl. I know from whence I speak as I teach in an elementary school. I had a professor in college named Taffy XXXXXX, PhD. I'm sure when those parents looked at little bundle o' joy Taffy that no one envisioned her being a quite stern and serious professor. Long ago, someone told me that good checks for names are 1. yell it out the back door to see if it sounds right. 2. Say, "my BIL (name) or my SIL (name) are going to go fishing with me this weekend." 3. Say " Presenting the Pres. Of the United States XXXXX" or "Nominated to the Supreme Court is Judge XXXXX." All of these tests should help one decide if you've chosen a name that will serve your shild well wherever he goes in life. The other thing to consider is that if you name your child what everyone else is there will be many in his/her class with the same name. Right now in second grade, we have so many Bens that several have to go by their first and last name because they have the same initials. Naming a child is such a heady responsibility. As MIL, I need to keep quiet, though.

here's how you break it. You sit down with spouse, and say, I have a problem. i don't trust you. I need your help. Let's try something - transparency. You be transparent with me, I'll be transparent with you. I promise not to snoop, but if i ask you to show me, will you agree to do so? Also, Please offer me any information you can without me asking so that i can be comforted. A trustworthy, loving spouse will hopefully be open to a path towards change, especially if you do your part to stop the snooping. Then, after a certain amount of time of transparency exercises, it is on the distrusting spouses side to DECIDE to trust. it is as simple as an overnight decision to trust the other person. Who wants to live a life of crazed suspicion? If the transparency eases your mind, then take it the next step and decide to stop. trust that if there is truth, you will be shown that when it is necessary. It is the responsibility of both to create trust. You can only be in control of your part. If you are incapable of trusting, either because the other party is truly untrustworthy, or because you are not willing to trust, then your relationship will be unhealthy and miserable.

Wanda - I am glad that you found the solution for your daughter. My grandson does not seem to have a milk allergy. That was the first thing the docs checked. Carla - They do keep him upright, in fact, a lot of time is spent holding him that way. If he's down (on his back only) or reclining, they keep his body straight. They have the Bjorn carrier, which braces him pretty well. I'll mention the notion of not burping him, which is amazing! He is not constipated, lol (I know that that is not really an lol, especially for you). His stools are pretty much what is expected when breastfeeding. I think that they are going with the growing out of it expectation. I would like them to press harder, but it is very difficult for me to make suggestions. They are sensitive; they are using all their energy to hold things together. Interesting that you mentioned their marriage. I've thought about that, but things seem to be okay. My DIL is a very calm and patient person, and my son is a very earnest and sincere guy about all this, so I think that they'll be all right. My now ex-husband and I took our elder son through ten years of catastrophic asthma. It was a tremendously difficult, awful ordeal. At around year seven of that battle, we divorced. I know that the illness played a big role; it eventually drove us apart. Even though my husband was a superior dad in terms of being there when the asthma struck and our son was hospitalized, too many times to count, nevertheless he spent more and more time away from home. He needed adventure and excitement and we had a boy who needed all kinds of meds and a breathing machine if we were more than twenty minutes from a hospital, not to mention our home life, which was very quiet. Mainly because my son and I would use the non-crisis times to recover and get normal again. Then it would start all over again. My now DH's love of hominess and just generally being around all the time is one of the things that drew me to him. He was and is always "here". I have also thought that my younger DS, the baby's dad, was deeply influenced by his brother's long illness - in his child's mind he observed that no doctors, meds or many hospitalizations, even surgeries, could make the asthma go away. His brother had to grow out of it, which he didn't do until he was in college. So they may feel that as we were alone, so are they. I have noticed on the reflux boards that many parents are just holding on, even with a battery of doctors and various treatments. Some of their situations remind me of my mind-set with my son's asthma. IOW, hang on, try whatever, there is no cure, only coping, forget about the house, just "hold it together." Thanks for your attentiveness!