I survived, but not unscathed. Some didn't. The saddest funeral I ever attended was for a little boy I babysat; his mother didn't secure him in a car seat. He was thrown from her car and killed when a drunk driver hit them. When we had children I knew that I could not protect them against every bad thing, but I could take reasonable precautions. My mother didn't want to be inconvenienced by having to use car seats for my children, so I solved that problem by not letting them ride with her. Once I was 10, my parents rarely knew where I was during the summer or on weekends, since they played golf frequently. Sometimes Mom would forget to leave the spare key in its hiding place and I'd be locked out. If I had money I could ride my bike 3 miles to the DairyQueen to buy a Coke, but if not I'd get a drink from a neighbor's garden hose. There were worse consequences of their inattention, but I won't go into that here. None of us worried about sunblock, although we did use baby oil to keep from drying out while we baked. Everyone in my family has (or had) skin cancer, as do many of my friends. The ones who continued baking as adults now have skin that looks like tanned leather, dotted with light spots from the removal of melanomas. There was a lot of underage drinking, as well as a lot of partying by some of the parents, but I was too afraid of mom's beatings if she caught me drinking so that was postponed until college. Back then, the legal age was 18 in many places. There was also a lot of pot, in the schools as well as at the beach. Some people experimented with hard drugs; a few had very bad results. One dear friend, who was in my honors classes in high school, was artistically and musically talented while his siblings were focused on science and math; that didn't go over well at home. He self-medicated the emotional pain, then spent the next several decades in various psych hospitals. My mom nagged me about befriending a certain crowd at the country club, not knowing that the most "popular" kids were also the biggest dealers at the beach. In college (a good Jesuit school), the drug of choice for most students was quaaludes and I'd guess that at least half the students indulged in both pills and pot. Keggers in the Quad were common Friday afternoon events, with various student organizations hosting a party almost every week. Despite the lack of restrictions on drinking, there were other strictly enforced rules, and several girls from my dorm were sent packing for having guys spend the night. The guys' dorm was much looser, and RAs looked the other way when girls were there after visiting hours. I never saw a pregnant student on campus, but I did know/know of several girls who suddenly transferred to the state school back home. This was before folks knew about HIV, so physical barrier precautions were scorned and the Pill was popular. My last roommate graduated a semester early, filled with deep hatred toward all men and a nasty case of genital herpes (which freaked me out, naive as I still was.) It seems like people were less informed about drug interactions or concerns about mixing certain Rx drugs with alcohol. A friend died because she didn't realize that she should not mix alcohol and her Rx. The authorities guessed that the combination made it difficult for her to recall if she'd taken her proper dose and she accidentally over medicated. I know that some warning labels seems like too much CYA litigation prevention, but I wish the health care industry had shared more information with patients sooner. My husband grew up in the midwest, and his experiences or recollections are worse/scarier than mine. His family lived in an affluent bedroom community of a large city, and all of the kids attended various private schools. He had a devoted and loving mother but she was so busy with a very large number of children that she couldn't have supervised all of them adequately even if she thought it necessary. It just wasn't common for parents to be so involved in the '60s - '70s, for better or for worse. The kids did enjoy a lot more freedom and seemed to become independent sooner, but there was a downside as well. Underage drinking was one problem, but drugs were much worse. When I look at my children's generation, I wonder how many of their medical and behavioral issues are related to their parents' drug use. When I got to college, I was stunned to learn about the extent of drug experimentation (cocaine & LSD, among other things.) So I am one of the lucky ones, just because I'm still alive. But I have scars, both emotional and physical, that will never completely fade. I tried to find a balance between being too lax and hovering with my own children, but what I thought was being prudent was seen as overly protective by my parents and in-laws. Yet my kids still climbed trees, rode zip lines, shot pellet guns, went white water rafting & kayaking, flew in ultralights, tried snow skiing & snowboarding, etc., and I have plenty of grey hairs to attest to their exploits. ;-)

Children and weddings is always a hot topic... A few years back my oldest (and very dearest) niece was married. Most everyone was from both families lived out of town from the niece and therefore were travelling to where she was living for the wedding "weekend" (breaker party on Friday for those arriving early, wedding on Saturday, and picnic on Sunday)... months prior to the wedding we were told it would be an "adults only" reception on Saturday, but not to worry, they were arranging for babysitting for all the children. At the time I my children were 12, 10, and 6... the invitations arrive and sure enough they said Family party Friday night, adults only reception Saturday night, and family picnic on Sunday afternoon... but there is no mention of the babysitting for Saturday night... During many conversations with family members, no one is saying anything about the children AT ALL, even when I raise the issue of Saturday night. So, I called the hotel and looked into their "hire a stranger" service... which to say the least I was less than impressed with. Then about 2 weeks before the event it finally "slips" out that oh... didn't we know, all the other cousins ARE invited to the ADULT reception (ages 13, 14,15, 17) they are counting them adults. Well... blow me down! I guess I was an a@@ for assuming that adults were 18+ or maybe even 21+ given the alcohol serving issues.... but no, we were told they drew an imaginary "adult" line... and gee... mine children were the only children in the family (both sides) not invited.... which, btw, means I do NOT have potential sitters witht he nieces and nephews (which explains the drop of conversation whenever I raised that topic!) And yeah, the niece decided not to arrange child care like she was going to. Didn't I realize this on my own? Long and short of it was we ended up opting NOT to attend. We do not live near any relatives from either side of the family and we would have had to to travel on Friday afternoon and return on Sunday afternooon (at the bare minimum) to get to/from the ceremony and reception only. We didn't have any one locally to leave 3 children with for over 48 hours at a minimum.... Boy did we hear about the decision not to go from EVERY family member under the sun... how could we disappoint our niece this way??? Let's see... I was willing to let my children stay with a sitter... wasn't happy about the hotel service... but probably would have sucked in (although to be brutally honest here, I had expected when my niece did not arrange for sitters, that I would hire the other "older non-adult" nieces/nephews to watch them during the adult reception time.) Several years later this is STILL a topic of family problems... and my oldest in particular, has little interest in her oldest cousin as a result of being "left out".... All three knew we were planning to attend the wedding and other festivities, and then we told all three there was a change of plans and we were no longer going. I know my niece did not intend for us to be upset by an adults only invitation, and truthfully when we were under the impression that it was truely 'adults' and therefore NONE of the minor cousins we were fine with it.... by the same token I did not intend to upset a bride with our decision not to attend... but look at the position I was put in... we've all travelled here for a multi-day family event and on Saturday night I have to say to my children (while no one else is) that you can't come with us as it's adults only, but yes indeed your cousins who are not adults can come with us.... as a parent I could not do that to them... so we opted out... To be fair to my niece, she later said if they knew how many people would decline to attend (most due to child care issues) they never would have done adults only.... remember... basically everyone had to travel, a fair distance (6+ hours in most cases), leaving on a Friday and returning on a Sunday, for the shortest of the travellers... so anyone with children had to arrange for weekend care for them... if they didn't live near other family not invited to the function, they either had to ask friends to take their children for a weekend, or bring them along and deal with the hire a stranger service.... when you don't have children yourself, you can't begin to understand how hard it is to find people to drop your children on for a weekend.... or how disagreeable of an idea it is to leave them with a stranger.... The whole topic just makes me sad... it's not that our family (entire extended family I mean) had "problems" with this... everyone understood why we opted out... or that they didn't agree with both sides of the topic... or that we don't feel it IS entirely up to the bride and groom to decide whatever they want (we do)... it's just a very touchy thing still years later... we've never been shown wedding photos yet we all know they exist... the wedding was never spoken about with us after it happened or in the years since... it's almost as though everyone in the family wants to forget the day happened when we're around... and it all could have been avoided with clear communication upfront... I KNOW my niece wasn't prepared for us NOT to attend, she called me in tears talking about how their decision had caused so many people not to attend and how she wished she haad known ahead of time that would happen. My sister called, my mother called. All three understood our position and agreed with us. That did not change the situation, nor did we expect it to... Those planning weddings with many out of area invitees with children really need to be prepared for them to decide it is best for them not to attend if they are not willing to have something arranged for the children of those invited IF they are not being invited to the festivities... Not everyone has childcare available for a couple of days and nights to be able to leave their children behind. Now, several years later, my niece as a 1 year old herself, and was quite put out recently when they were invited to an out of town wedding without their child... Luckily for her it was a cople hours away and she could use a frined to watch her daughter for the day and still return home that night. But I admit to having a moment of 'ah... see the position you are in... this is what you did to others yourself'... but I still felt bad for her... because she was once again apologizing to me while complaining about this dilema she had.... If your invitation says & Family.... bring the children along...

Thank you, cynthia and holligator for your reading tips! I appreciate those so very, very much. mazer, you continue to be a font of information! lily316, the way I found our breeder is by first visiting the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Club USA site, the American Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Club site, and, to a lesser extent, the AKC site. I looked for breeders only listed on those sites. I did NOT use search engines to find breeders. There may absolutely be reputable, ethical breeders out there not associated with the above-mentioned organizations (although why they wouldn't be I don't know), but for me this was a "safety net." I then e-mailed to them a long list of questions, asking if they'd be willing to talk with me and answer these questions: 1) What are the registered names of the puppy's parents and may we have copies of the registration certificates for both parents? 2) What are the birth dates of the puppy's parents? 3) Have you complied with the MVD Breeding Protocol? 4) Have you complied with the SM Breeding Protocol? 5) Have both parents' hips been x-rayed after age two years, and have those x-rays been evaluated and cleared of HD by the Orthopedic Foundation for Animals (OFA)? 6) Have both parents' patellas been examined and cleared by qualified veterinarians within a year before the date of birth of the puppy we may adopt? 7) Have both parents' eyes been examined and cleared of serious genetic eye disorders by board certified veterinary ophthalmologists within a year before the date of birth of the puppy we may adopt? 8) Have both parents' hearing been tested and cleared of hereditary hearing deficiencies, preferably by the Brainstem Auditory Evoked Response (BAER) test, no earlier than at age 2.5 years? 9) Has either parents exhibited the symptoms of episodic falling syndrome? 10) Have both parents' blood been tested and cleared for diabetes mellitus and hypothyroidism within a year before the date of birth of the puppy we may adopt? (see here for information regarding the above diseases / syndromes) I was both surprised and disappointed at how many breeders did not want to answer these questions. They were immediately crossed off my list. To my absolute delight the breeder to whom our little girl was born answered every one of my questions at great length. They also had a long list of questions for me, which thrilled me. This led me to believe they don't let their puppies be adopted willy-nilly -- they wanted to check us out as well! Our breeders are in Wyoming, and they got started breeding Cavs because they'd each (they are two friends) had a heartbreak with a sick Cav. They vowed they would help "clean up" the system and they take fastidious care of their dogs and have all the paperwork / registrations for it. Anyway, this is how I found a reputable, ethical breeder in our part of the country (I'm in Colorado). I was heartsick reading about the Greyhounds dying of bone cancer -- I never knew about that! When I was a little girl living in England the caretaker of my parents' "farm" (more like a weekend house -- as if my parents farmed!) had a multitude of Greyhounds. I loved them. Beautiful, gentle creatures. Fast, and then a couch potato! This is a picture of our little girl from last Thursday, on her seven week birthday. We're naming her Genki-chan. "Genki" is Japanese for "healthy," "peppy," "lively" (although she is a mellow girl -- the breeders decided only two of their litters would be suitable for us [with such small children] -- gentle with their teeth, but still "sturdy" for play with toddlers), and "chan" is the feminine diminutive. My husband is Japanese and our children speak Japlish. Well, more English than Japanese at this point, but we keep it up. My 3.5 year-old refers to Genki-chan as Genki-grill; "grill" is how he says "girl." Our 19 month-old merely says "Genki." One of the breeders gave the laddies a little stuffed Cav doll whom the 3.5 year-old named CiCi-inu -- "inu" is dog in Japanese. I have no idea from where the "CiCi" came!

Hello Everyone Yall's homes and furbabies are soo wonderful it is soo nice to meet you all. My name is RaNae I'll be 42 this year and live with my wonderful DH Doug we have been together since 1983- cosmically we were spose to be together- both born in same small town hospital 3 years apart- same ob, same lady signed our birth certificates- he grew up there we moved away by about 40 minutes when I was 3 months old....Jump to August 1, 1983 we both started working at Aeolian American (the last handmade piano factory in the US that closed in 85) in the small town where I grew up- He was in structural maitenance of the factory and machines I worked on the pianos- one day while I was working I saw him greasing a drill near my station and I thought to myself- gosh he's kinda cute- he has amazing eyes- shoot what a smile- I can see myself going out with him- heck I can see myself married to him... that was in OCT we met Christmas Eve Day that year 1983 I was 18 he had just turned 22 We started dating the folowing March of 84 and have been together ever since- LOVE at First sight does happen- he is sooo wonderful and honorable and committed- he helped care for my dying Father in our home for over a year when we were just 25 and 28 I have helped him through a Total Hip Replacement due to a childhood virus and manage our home and keep him on schedule. We have 2 wonderful furbabies- always have furbabies in the house lol. A year ago today we closed on our new house in Texas- because of my dh's transfer luckily our old house sold in 3 days(in a slowww OK market)and we were in our new home 31 days later- we had been on scouting trips previously thank God and our home although it is new construction- met our criterias of location, building practices- i.e. windows flashed- huricane straps- floor plan and smaller size and smaller lot and $$. Idealy we'd like to be in a condo in down town Fort Worth- Great City or in a true Cottage down there but this is great too. My hobbies include- crochet (made my first afghan at 5yo what a sight it was lol), cross stitch, just getting into needlepoint, painting, trash to treasure, I like mosaic although I have only done 1 so far, drawing, my sewing is improving- self taught by eye don't know how to work a pattern but my friend Jay Bird is gonna teach me that, and I enjoy making lamp shades and changing lamp shades and enhancing lamp shades lol. I'd die if I couldn't express myself creatively. I am a novice cottage gardner also. I have a cosmetology license and have worked retail and in different capacities in the dog world- i.e. kennels and groom shops. I love and collect sheep btw and hope to have a hobby flock in retirement. We have also been to Hawaii 3 times and love the Water- we used to live in Lower Alabama Daphne/Mobile area and would move back there or to Hawaii in a heart beat if my DH could work there. We also love back home the beautiful Finger Lakes Region of Upstate NY. Shoot I"ve had too much coffee and am rambling- imagine if we were in person you would'nt get a word in edge wise LOL RaNae