MY thoughts on several of the subjects mentioned: Childproofing a home can be defined as a lot of things. To me doing it is mainly a safety and a convenience issue. Tot Loks on the cabinets means that my children couldn't reach chemicals and I didn't have the storage space to move them somewhere else. Chemicals, knives, sharp objects, special plugs in walls. Anything from the waist down was dealt with. Precious tchatkes were put up merely because they can walk before they can really understand 'no' consistantly. Not precious things can be killed in an instant with you standing right there. Did you know that a portable baby monitor can fit perfectly into a coffee cup? No? My son did that to my husband. My hand was inches away from it. He was mighty durn fast, that kid.Faster than me. Monitors don't like cream and sugar. ;) You're right about the exercise equipment. No toddler should ever be left alone with it. Kids have ripped off fingers, have fallen from them in a moment. Serious injuries have resulted. CP for your MIL would be about her saving her personal sanity. If SHE wants to work with her daughter about it, then that is on them to work it out. But if it's happened more than once, and the daughter is unresponsive, it seems silly to me to watch destruction happen and then tsk tsk about it. If you can see the train coming, do you get off of the tracks? I understand those mothers who don't CP. I understand the idea that some things shouldn't be touched. But I take exception with things that are dangerous, no matter who's home it is. Close that bathroom door, a kid can drown in a moment. Their center of gravity is high and if they fall forward, they cannot pull themselves back out. Chemicals under a sink. A tightly wrapped bungee cord around the handles will do it. Enough that you can hear the kid attempt it and stop them. My own mother used to keep one in an adjacent drawer for when the grandkids came to visit. Simple. On and off in a matter of seconds for an adult. Purses. Please put them up. Especially older women. Oftentimes people without children are giving prescription drugs that do not have childproof caps. I personally know of a family that lost a toddler one Easter. Grandma came to visit and the two year old found her blood pressure medication. Child died. If a particular room is really dangerous, just shut the door and don't allow the kid in there at all. As to breastfeeding? I breastfed two children, three years each. My best advice to you is to read up on the subject, take at least one class if there is one in your area (demonstration is very helpful) and learn about the physiology of the process. (Not just you, but any woman interested in actually doing this.) Breastmilk is digested in approximately one and a half hours. Much faster than formula. That is one of the reasons why you see BF babies being fed much more often. Breastmilk production is a neurological feedback loop. Supply is based upon 'demand'. The more the mother nurses, the more milk is supplied and vice versa. The less that she nurses, the lesser her milk supply. This is an important point because often a new mother who BFs frequently has a lot of milk, and then the body slows down and basically makes what is demanded. For SOME women, skipping a feeding means a bit less milk later and a baby who is not satisfied. This means that giving a bottle isn't necessarily a simple thing. Breasts are not faucets. Some women don't experience a dip. No way to know what your breasts will do until you literally do it. Some babies also experience nipple confusion, especially the very young ones. The mechanical action of sucking on a human nipple is different than a synthetic one. Some kids can easily flip back and forth. Some will give up BF entirely and stick with the bottle becuase the milk flows faster. Some will never ever take a bottle, no matter how and when it's offerred. My first child was like that. She would NOT do it. When babies go through normal growth spurts (which is frequent during the first year), nursing increases. Baby nurses more to stimulate the breast to make more milk. Another reason not to give a bottle during that time. Without the stimulation, milk supply may not keep up with the demand. So it's really not as simple as "I'm tired, give him the bottle". I seriously advise new mothers (especially first time nursers) not to give a bottle or anything else like a pacifier AT LEAST until the kid is four weeks old and then occasionally here and there. For most of us, nursing is established by then, so is supply, and the baby is still young that they MIGHT go for the rubber nipple. But never during a growth spurt so as not to mess with supply nor the baby. (You know when that is, you nurse constnatly for three or four days.) There are many ifs ands buts and ors in this process, specific for different unique situations. In no way does this tiny post address everything that a mom needs to know. I just wanted to add this because there is a lot more going on than just hooking a child up. Breastfeeding is a particular kind of commitment. It does mean that you are the one that is feeding that child, morning noon and night. It comes iwth the territory. And yes, sometimes those BF babies can look chubby. My son had three rolls on his thighs and two on his butt at six months. He's now four years old and is in the 50/50 club for height and weight. Right dab smack in the middle. If the baby isn't walking or grotesquely misshapen, I would wait to see what the kid looks like about two or three months after he/she starts walking. They start to shoot up and slim out. And then somewhere in their second year they can really start getting to be a picky eater and it's about trying to get them to EAT at all...and so on and so on... I would also add that 'fatigue' also comes with the territory of motherhood. Especially sleep deprivation in the early years. It's part of the package. And even if a child is bottlefed and Daddy takes over here and there, I just don't see that making a darn bit of difference in the overall scheme of 'tired'. Being tired is what happens. But no one ever died of sleep deprivation. There are merely some days that you don't drive or play with sharp objects. ;) Finally I wanted to comment on the person who mentioned eating their words. That made me smile. I was an aunt to nine before I had my own. I had many opinions and made many statements... And when someone asked me what I had learned after being a mother for about a month, I said "the first lesson of motherhood is humility. My only regret is that I have so many words to eat". Or as I said to my best friend "How many words did you say or think?" and she moaned and said "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of them! sob!" (oh hugs to her!) I told her "well, then break out a spoon, you've got a long road ahead of you". :D I say this for entertainment purposes, but I do want to kindly say that you will certainly find something in your passel of opinions to 'eat'. We all do it. It's a rite of passage. Kindness and compassion in your words and thoughts will come back to you. Btw, I told my own sister while pregnant with my first "I just HAVE to find a way to get EIGHT hours of sleep. I can do anything if I have sleep. Somehow, I'll figure this out!!" (One of those Gone with the Wind, 'as God is my witness' moments...) I said this to my sister, a mother of three (who also had four stepkids). Years later I said to her "My God, why didn't you say anything?" and she dryly said "I figured that you would figure it out soon enough". It's GOOD to have answers to theoretical questions. I means that you care about the subject matter. It's good to think about these things, but it's also good to know that you will change something in your thinking. You won't know what that is until it happens. And a lot of mothering is punting. Because there are definitely days when you say "my kid is not in those books and neither am I!"

I hope you have loads of fun. I asked my 26 yr old GD just this week if she remembered that when she and the others stayed overnight that I used to tell them to try to remember them as we were making memories. She did. I had to chuckle when I read you have plenty of 'breast milk'. I watched a little of Regis/Kelly one day this week where she and the cohost tried breast milk cheese!! No thank you very much. Shirley

Wanda - I am glad that you found the solution for your daughter. My grandson does not seem to have a milk allergy. That was the first thing the docs checked. Carla - They do keep him upright, in fact, a lot of time is spent holding him that way. If he's down (on his back only) or reclining, they keep his body straight. They have the Bjorn carrier, which braces him pretty well. I'll mention the notion of not burping him, which is amazing! He is not constipated, lol (I know that that is not really an lol, especially for you). His stools are pretty much what is expected when breastfeeding. I think that they are going with the growing out of it expectation. I would like them to press harder, but it is very difficult for me to make suggestions. They are sensitive; they are using all their energy to hold things together. Interesting that you mentioned their marriage. I've thought about that, but things seem to be okay. My DIL is a very calm and patient person, and my son is a very earnest and sincere guy about all this, so I think that they'll be all right. My now ex-husband and I took our elder son through ten years of catastrophic asthma. It was a tremendously difficult, awful ordeal. At around year seven of that battle, we divorced. I know that the illness played a big role; it eventually drove us apart. Even though my husband was a superior dad in terms of being there when the asthma struck and our son was hospitalized, too many times to count, nevertheless he spent more and more time away from home. He needed adventure and excitement and we had a boy who needed all kinds of meds and a breathing machine if we were more than twenty minutes from a hospital, not to mention our home life, which was very quiet. Mainly because my son and I would use the non-crisis times to recover and get normal again. Then it would start all over again. My now DH's love of hominess and just generally being around all the time is one of the things that drew me to him. He was and is always "here". I have also thought that my younger DS, the baby's dad, was deeply influenced by his brother's long illness - in his child's mind he observed that no doctors, meds or many hospitalizations, even surgeries, could make the asthma go away. His brother had to grow out of it, which he didn't do until he was in college. So they may feel that as we were alone, so are they. I have noticed on the reflux boards that many parents are just holding on, even with a battery of doctors and various treatments. Some of their situations remind me of my mind-set with my son's asthma. IOW, hang on, try whatever, there is no cure, only coping, forget about the house, just "hold it together." Thanks for your attentiveness!

Sorry, I just saw there were more posts here about the socks. To robotropolis, the socks can get pretty hot. In the beginning of using them, it takes a few tries to get the right amount of time to leave them in the microwave to get the socks to the temperature that is most comfortable. If you put them in for too long, you can burn the kernels inside and you will smell them cooking. You want to put them in for less time if thatâÂÂs the case. Believe me if the socks are too hot, you will keep your feet away from them. And can push them to another part of the bed until they cool down a little. And I would think you would make that adjustment before you fell asleep. They stay warm when under the covers for a surprisingly long time. IâÂÂve never burned myself on the socks. We keep our thermostat down to 62 degrees at night with warm down comforters on the bed with flannel sheets. My feet are always cold and I usually have a sore muscle or two that appreciate the heat as well.