Sunshineboy, that is an adorable picture! 4 adult cats napping so close together like that is quite the sight. WG, that is very exciting. I don't have much advice to add, and I hope your cats adjust well to their new home (once they get there). Three outdoor males - those voles aren't going to stand a chance! :) I am a cat lover and owner for 20-odd years, and have 2 spayed, vaccinated females, both rescued as kittens. One is strictly indoors, the other has limited outdoor privileges. SHe usually goes outside for a few hours a day in nice weather, but is a "fair-weather" cat so she rarely goes out in the winter. She is a good huntress and eats most of what she catches, so I worm her every fall when her hunting activities wind down. Not sure if I should be doing it more frequently?? Somewhere I read that male cats wander in much larger territories than female cats, which tend to stay closer to home. This would hold true in my experience. My little female rarely wanders beyond the boundaries of the property, but I had a male for 19 years who was obsessed with prowling the neighborhood, even on the coldest winter nights (and managed to beat the odds and live a long life despite his outdoor activities). I must confess I worried SICK about that cat for over 18 years, but he died of old age on the kitchen floor. Cars and dogs/coyotes are amongst their greatest outdoor hazards. Hopefully your cats will have some street smarts! Are your new cats going to live in the barn? They will probably need an adjustment period in the barn to get used to their new home. How will they get in and out of the barn? My sister has 3 large Coon brothers who are indoor/outdoor and she has a cat door in her garage and they go in and out of the house at their choosing.

so, lead. it is toxic and we all know it is toxic and has long-term effects. there is no arguing about that. the most typical pathway is ingestion. generally, i am relatively unconcerned about adults living in a house with lead paint. adults don't eat off the floor or chew windowsills. they do, perhaps, pick up some object off the floor and then eat without washing their hands first. also, if there is a garden close to your house, where chips would fall in it. but, adults are big and developed and this amount of exposure typically isn't such a big deal. Science has shown us that low-levels of lead exposure in pregnant women that wouldn't be a big deal otherwise can cause some neurological defects. Nothing obvious like a third arm, but something less obvious like a learning problem later in life. Or maybe the IQ is 125 instead of 130. But, as adults, if we are aware of a potential risk we can avoid that risk. A pregnant woman living in a house with lead paint chips or lead paint on contact surfaces (door jambs, etc) should wash her hands frequently, particularly before eating. Vacuum more frequently than usual and frequently vacuum around window sills and doors. If you exercise some caution, I don't see any reason to replace the windows and trim because you have a pregnant person in the house. But by the time that baby becomes mobile, you do want to make sure that the lead issue has been taken care of. How you do this is up to you. You can have the windows replaced by a reputable contractor that follows lead-safe practices (this basically means they use a bunch of plastic sheeting) or you can start with the worst offenders and fix them yourself. If you do this, you want to make sure your work area is isolated and that you aren't making things worse by tracking paint chips and lead dust around. I'm really not going to get into how to do the work yourself, but focus on the doors and windows you use the most.

Last week I was in a shoe store with my three year old. He is going through a stage where he has to know everyone's name(cashiers, bank tellers, nieghbors etc.) While shopping he turned to a lady standing next to us and asked the ususal "what's your name?" She answered "Peggy". He smiled and replied "you're silly. What's your name?" She repeated her name again and he became serious and told her "No, you're not a piggy!" We both laughed. That same day we were in Wal Mart and my son saw a man approaching in one of those electric shopping chairs that look like a wheelchair. He moved over so he was right in the man's path and had to stop. My son said excitedly, "Wow, I like your bike!! Can you get off and let me ride a little bit?" Needless to say, I hope the two strangers were understanding because I sure got a kick out of it.

Thanks everyone for your advice. My comment about SD22 looking after our son on 2 nights in 5 years was to mention out how little time we have had as a couple. We have days together but next to no nights together. This is, I believe one of our problems in that we never were a couple. My partner initiated the relationship while she was still married so we went from a secret relationship to a family of five very quickly. My partner has had extensive family commitments with socialising teenage children. I had little involvement in this and I realise this has affected our relationship. I've never been able to relate to SD22, SS21 father was still on the scene, SS19 always had obscure interests (rollerblading, karate - not much interest for a spectator). I know these are excuses, but its the way it panned out. My partner had plans for her ex to have the children on alternate weekends. It was only occasional that all three went and the weekends my partner elected to have them were the weekends I wasn't working. This was so she could drive them around. This limited our time together. Unfortunately this has created resentment as I've mentioned above. When I raised this in previous counselling, in that I feel our relationship came second, the response has been as mentioned (competing responsibilities, feeling guilty with not spending more time with her children). Partner states we have Fridays together (we both have Friday off), when you take into account school drop-off / pick-up it's only half a day. I know this is family routine, but during counselling Fridays together seemed to be the only compromise. I saw a solicitor 1.5 weeks ago to discuss my options. He suggested one could get a property settlement agreement in case the situation becomes more pear-shaped. A bit like a pre-nup during the relationship. I would lose a lot but I would imagine I would lose more further down the track. If I suggest a property settlement agreement I would imagine this will be a turning point. She may decide to leave. I saw a psychologist 2 days ago to discuss the situation. Only the first visit. She felt the children haven't developed life skills to date. Obviously everything is from my perspective. SD22 is not the only dysfunctional family member. The youngest SK (SS19) - finished attending school, working casual in a supermarket (fired from previous supermarket job for stealing, bludged for 3 months after finishing school before he got this job), owes his father $2000 (car accident insurance excesses x 2), owes his mother $5000 (car accident insurance excess x 1, mother put in 2K extra for car, spent 3K on DJ equipment - part-time interest / job). It gets worse - lost his driver's licence (4 infringements) and blown the engine in his car ($2500 - 3000 repair - parents rightly refused to pay). You could accuse me of making this up, but its true. He also smokes (incl dope at times). Fortunately he spends half his time at a friend's house, so I'm able to tolerate his loud music / non-contributory lifestyle. My partner accuses me of only having negative comments about her children. I know this is true, I know they have positives, they are just overwhelmed. The only SK getting on with his life is SS21. Sometimes I think the only way I could be happy is if SD22 didn't live here. The trouble is I will be seen as cold and callus, and I doubt I would have a relationship with my partner. SD22 does have a father to return to. She was living with him 6 mths ago. SD22 doesn't seem to be working, isn't studying. The reasons she moved back here don't seem to apply now. I doubt our relationship would survive this ultimatum. I know I could tart it up as an option if she didn't contribute (which would seem likely) but it would be seen by my partner as a way of getting to live with her father. Sorry for rambling, I had a bit more time today.