Stacie, I don't know how you are keeping your sanity through all these trying times. You have my deepest sympathy...I know about kidney and gallbladder stones, but I was only dealing with 2 children at the time. Best wishes for all this to be behind you in a flash and you wake up in a bed of roses by Monday! Big hugs to all of the family.

i hope i didn't offend anyone. I really liked breastfeeding, for me, it was the best way. But I was also young and healthy. I wasn't rushed back to work, nor did I have other stresses on me. The LaLeche League is a group of women who have successfully breast fed and hope to teach new mothers how to do it. There is certainly a place for formulas, if the mother can't or doesn't wish to breast feed. For example, if the mother and baby need to be separated. Plus it's the ONLY method that can involve the father in feedings. I thought it was great FOR ME AND MY KIDS. I remember the nurse telling me that Natural Childbirth is best, too, but as long as you bring a healthy baby into this world, it doesn't maytter how he/she got here. As long as your baby gets enough nutrition,that's all that really matters. On another topic, my MIL was strange in many ways, one of them was she didn't think breast feeding was good, too primitive, too animal, I don't know. Once I went to a restaurant with MLL and SIL (her daughter) with my first born. She was maybe three weeks old. I was wearing a nursing dress, very loose but with two slits in front, disguised with pleats. As we sat in a quiet dark booth, I started to nurse her. MIL looked shocked, said "That's disgusting, you better do that in the ladies room." I was embarassed, turned beet red, and ran in the bathroom. There was no special place to nurse, so I went in a booth and sat down, and locked the door. It smelled bad but I stayed and fed her, all the while crying. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Since then, I have always seemed to look for evidence that "validates" my breast-feeding. Sorry about this, I just had to "get it off my chest". And isn't it typical that MILs and DILs don't get along?

My mom had a terrible experience with a clogged duct and had to have multiple procedures to clear it up. I remember her having gauze crammed in an incesion in her left breast. They left the end of the gauze dangling out like a sick candle wick of sorts so they could pull it out and change it untill the infection had cleared.....scary! I very clearly remember her picking a scab off of it once and having LITERALLY a gallon of puss come pouring out of it. It was off putting to say the least. Doodledoo, when I was taking childbirth classes the instructor was excellent, and really knew what she was doing. At the end of our last class she told us this, "Breastfeeding does not hurt if it's done properly. If the nurses tell you it hurts, make sure you see the lactation consultant because it should not hurt." But when I had my baby it hurt like he!! to say the least. The lactation consultant was on vacation, but her fill-in told me, "Honey, it just hurts some people". Every nurse, every visitor, every doctor told me the same thing - sometimes it just hurts. So I just assumed the childbirth instructor was wrong, until one nurse came in toward the end of my stay (I had some problems and stayed longer than some moms). She told me it hurt her really bad, too, but the regular lactation consultant helped her, and it doesn't hurt if it's done correctly. This nurse couldn't tell me how to do it (it had been awhile), but when she was on duty she'd come in while I nursed and hold my hand and cry with me (yes, it hurt that bad). At the end of my third week, I couldn't stand it any longer. I called the hospital crying and got the regular lactation consultant. She told me to come in, and I packed the baby up (even though I wasn't supposed to drive yet) and went in. It was an amazing experience. Everyone else (except the one nurse) acted like I was a whiny baby. But the lactation consultant didn't even ask to see my chest. She stuck her finger in my baby's mouth, her eyes teared up, and she said with the deepest compassion I've ever heard, "Honey, I know you hurt, I know you hurt. Let me see your chest." By this time my nipples were cracked, bleeding, scabbed and infected. Just the weight of a light summer shirt hurt. I had to bite my knuckles and hands to keep from screaming when I nursed. The lactation consultant leaned over, took my wrist in her hands and pressed it gently. She said, "That's what it should feel like when you nurse. Let me show you." As she positioned my baby, I flinched and prepared to bite myself to keep from screaming. She positioned the baby at my breast and held his tongue and jaw in place, and it felt like a butterfly landing on my arm. Absolutely no pain. It turned out my son had a problem with the way he sucked. I gave up breastfeeding anyway. I was going to have to have a helper every time I breastfed - one who would learn how to position the baby's tongue and jaw and hold it in place. My family didn't have any more vacation time, so I quit. I don't regret quitting - I was exhausted and needed to get well more than my son needed to breastfeed. Anyway, when I had my second child, I knew better. I had her at a different hospital, and she hurt me, too. Again, the nurses and the lactation consultant said, "Honey, it just hurts, you just have to toughen those nipples." I smiled sweetly and said okay, and had my husband make me an appointment with a private lactation consulting firm. As soon as I checked out of the hospital we headed straight for the private consultant. They didn't have the absolute amazing genius of the one who helped me with my son, but they gave me a lot of help. I nursed her through her first year and started weaning her at 13 months. My nipples never got very sore, never bled, never cracked, never got infected. My daughter had a problem with her palate that caused the problem, but no one at the hospital even checked. Here are my suggestions if you want to breast feed: First, the vast majority of doctors don't know beans about the comfort issues of breastfeeding. They are great about illnesses, diseases, etc., but not breastfeeding. Second, if you use nipple shields (I did with my 2nd child), just be aware that you can get mastitis more easily that way. The lactation consultant I had with my second child told me after I finished breastfeeding to make a circle out of my hands and encircle my breast with both my hands at the very top (like way up under my arm). Starting at the top is very important. Then slide the circle of your hands down your breast, squeezing gently. I can't remember exactly why, but I think you're massaging the milk out of your ducts. Also, another thing you can do is this: before you start to nurse, do the above-mentioned massage. This should get the milk massaged down so you will let down faster. I don't know if I'd do that right away, but after the first week I would. This shortens your nursing time a little, because the milk lets down earlier. I'm glad I breastfed my daughter. Our budget was tight and it's lots cheaper. It was also way easier in the long run (I was a SAHM). A few diapers and wipes and we were ready to go, no bottles, no formula. Breastfeeding is also an enforced rest time for the mom - I would have been up cleaning and doing laundry while everybody else bottle fed the baby. If I had had more children, I would have breastfed them even if I worked, because I enjoyed it. I never thought I would - I always thought it was a little icky, but I enjoyed it after the first 3 months. It is pretty icky to me at first - all the leaking, etc. till your body gets used to it is just unpleasant (to me). I am a firm believer that every mom should do what she thinks works best for her situation and her family's. If you ever decide you don't want to breastfeed, then don't. My oldest is just fine and he was bottle fed after the first 3 weeks. But please don't put yourself through the he!! I went through and your mom went through because people tell you it just hurts sometimes. If that nurse could put my son on my breast without hurting, then I know breast feeding doesn't have to hurt. I will say that my breastfed daughter has a much better immune system than my bottle fed son. That may just be coincidence. Anyway, I still don't regret quitting breastfeeding him. That was just too much pain to endure when there are bottles and formula. I tried not to write a book here, but my heart just goes out to any woman who might hurt so badly while breastfeeding, and if I can spare somebody a part of the agony I went through, I want to do that. I wish you a safe childbirth and a healthy, happy baby.

The first softener I had I bought at a thrift store. It lasted until I moved 7 years, the 2nd I bought at another thrift store It lasted 17 years. The 3rd I bought at a building surplus store new, the one I have now. Its a GE a fully automatic. I paid $200 for it. They can be had at places like Sears and HD and Lowes but they are in the $400 range. The secret is to use rosin cleaner from time to time to clean the rosin bed of Iron if you have Iron in the water. They are meant to be used for the whole house. I just broke into the water line coming into the house and ran the line into the laundry room, then through the softener, then back out to where it was originally hooked up to the house. This does 2 things. 1. runs all water through the softener and 2. I added a turn off valve so I can turn off the house water in the laundry room instead of the street. It must be put in the cold water line before the hot water. While I was at it I put in a tank less hot water heater. Normally you would need a plumber to do it. Everything gets soft water out of it. It makes dishes and glasses clean easier and removes scale and hard water stains, makes clothes whiter and when you take a shower it makes the soap much more sudsy and the wife says your hair softer. When you shower your skin feel slippery because of the natural oils. Squeaky clean is not clean its hard water.