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mom4boys_gw

forum for parents of bright/gifted kids?

mom4boys
22 years ago

Does anyone know of a good "active" forum for "real" parents of kids who are not profoundly gifted but very bright or average gifted?

I have been searching around on the Web for some time and the few forums I find are either very cold (one post every six months) or I can't relate to the parents posting (they have an only child and tons of money and time, or their child is EXTREMELY gifted).

With four boys, one income, time at a premium, and one boy of four who is gifted but not a rocket scientist, I have questions I would love to ask but can't find the right place.

Or maybe we could start one here? Does anyone else find themselves in the sitauation I'm in?

Comments (34)

  • Mommabear
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Mom4boys:

    This board is for "Parents". I don't see why we can't discuss these issues here. I am sure that there are parents out there who face the same challenges that you do with a bright child. So-ask away. I don't know if I have the answers, but I would be happy to discuss any opinions that I do have.

    I have 3 kids (ages 7,5,2), a pt job, and little time. Money is not a problem for us so we can spend money on enrichment activities like chess club. However, I haven't found any boards for bright children that I like either. The one active board that I did find deals with mostly parents of younger kids. School aged kids present a whole different set of challenges.

    My oldest son is currently reading at a 6th grade level in 2nd grade. He is in the process of being classified right now. His teacher does not seem to think that there will be any question that he will be classified. Right now school is going well for him. I hope it stays that way.

    Email me if you want.

    Mommabear

  • Susan_Katz_msn_com
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I would be interested in this type of forum. I think Spike has plenty of parenting forums though and there probably wouldn't be enough people to justify a new one. Maybe we can e-mail each other to talk though. My oldest DH has always been in gifted and talented classes and he's in third grade now. We are lucky that the school here in our new town has a great program. E-mail me if you'd like!

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  • mom4boys
    Original Author
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    What a relief! I knew I wouldn't be alone here. I would LOVE to hear both your opinions on this subject. Mommabear, our sons are the same age and in the same grade, but my son is not reading at a 6th grade level--probably at a 3rd or 4th grade level. He's good at math. He loves to learn, and we love to teach him, but we just don't have all that much time, and he's thirsty for more. Maybe you could give me some tips on how you juggle your time and energy.

    And Susan, you are lucky to have that in your school. We don't have programs or testing where I live until 4th to 6th grade (we had him tested privately--for depression--but this also came out during the testing although we always suspected). But we are very lucky this year our son's teacher happened to teach gifted children before and plans to get a small group in her class working on more challenging activities. Next year will likely be a different teacher, different story.

    I'm so happy to hear from both of you. If we can't get a thread going here, I would like to email you if you don't mind. Thanks so much.

  • ferrifamily_yahoo_com
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think my son is gifted- not profoundly or highly- just gifted. We are in the process of having him tested through his school. We had to wait until he was in grade 4 to have this done and even now I have to push a bit. He teacher is very supportive and also feels he is gifted.
    DS is involved in chess club at school so it's free and he takes piano which is both creative and mathematical so he loves it. It does get expensive though (DD takes it too).

    You might want to do a search for an email list for parents of gifted kids as well as look for forums. I found a great one specifically for my home province of Ontario which is very helpful and supportive. It's so special because the information shared is extremely relevent to my situation because we are all Ontarians.

  • Mommabear
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Mom4boys:

    Having a little extra money does help. If your son likes math chess is a great way to encourage mathematical principles. Chess club at our school is NOT free it costs $150 per session. However, our town has chess available at a lower cost. I choose the chess club at school becuase it is during the hours immediately after school on a day that I work and I would have to pay for day care anyway. An inexpensive alternative is to get a chess board and teach your son how to move the pieces around. Then buy a computer program (I know you have a computer) that has a tutorial. We have Chess Advantage. Our son LOVES that program. He can play by himself when I cannot play with him. He's teaching my 5 yo to play chess. The younger one can move the pieces around. He can't join chess club until he is in first grade, but he wants to be ready!

    Other things we do is that we try to make them think about ordinary tasks like cooking and driving. We do this with our 5 year old as well. The trick with the younger one is to try to get him alone so his brother doesn't shout out the answers to my questions before the younger one gets a chance to think. Ask questions like: If the recipe calls for 3/4 cup of sugar, but I want to double the recipe how much sugar do I need. He will tell me 6 quarters. Then we talk about converting 6 quarters to 1 and a half. When we drive somewhere (like to pick up great grandma) I ask if we travel 45 minutes each way, how long do we travel in all. He gets to 90 minutes. How long is that in hours? Stuff like that really interests him. I try to include my younger son in the conversation with questions that are a little easier becuase he is only 5. When we watch a football game we ask questions like "How many points does the team behind need to score to tie the game?" What combinations of scores could they use (this one is hard, he's still working it out) to tie the game? Ordinary questions about ordinary stuff doesn't take much time to talk about, and doesn't cost ANY money.

    As Jodi suggests music is great for kids who like math. If you know how to read music you can teach your son to read music and buy him an inexpensive keyboard to play around on.

    That's it for now. What other things do parents do to encourage their kids to think?

    Mommabear

  • mom4boys
    Original Author
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    It is so nice to hear from all of you and these are great ideas. My son has been playing chess since he was about four but a chess club is a great idea for when I don't have the time to play with him. He really likes math and we registered him in Kumon math last year but he really didn't enjoy filling in all the work sheets. Cooking, mileage and football sounds like more fun!

    Jodi, I live in Ontario too (Ottawa). Where is this forum?

  • ferrifamily_yahoo_com
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    WOW...what a coincidence. This forum will be really helpful. The link is to their website and you can get to the forum easily from there.

    Here is a link that might be useful: Ontario Gifted

  • mom_anonymous_com
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    This is not necessarily an idea for gifted kids, but it relates to the chess thing. My neighbor came up with a wonderful idea for chess (her son is a little older--7th grade). She called a few local nursing homes and assisted living centers to ask if there was anyone there interested in playing chess with her son. She thought it would be an enjoyable way for her son to do a community service type thing. Well, she found a 94 year old man that loves chess. He was chairman of the English department at our local university and retired in 1972. While there he organized the chess club and had competed professionally at chess. This guy has been a wonderful mentor and chess teacher and the teenager loves going to see him to talk and play chess. I realize that she got extremely lucky in finding an expert at chess, but I can't wait for my kids to get old enough to do this. I think it is a wonderful experience for the child as well as the older person.

  • Susan_Katz_msn_com
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wow, what a great story Lisa! My kids go to a chess club every Friday night and really enjoy it.

  • KateC_any_com
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My DD just started school this year. The school tested her reading and she tested out at 5th/6th grade reading level. They said that they had never had a child enter school reading on such a high level. Currently she's placed in a K-1 class which she's at the top of and spends part of the day in a 2nd grade class. Believe it or not the expectations are the same for every child in the 2nd grade class no matter what the situation! She has to do 8 book projects/reports, 20+ SRA lab cards, and read 4 AR books and pass each AR test with 80% or more. I think this is a bit much for any child let alone a 5 year old. She gets 100% on all of her spelling tests and is able to write paragraphs and stories galore.
    We need to remember that even if our children test out at higher reading levels,not all reading material is appropriate for their age group. They simply could not move my DD to an Intermediate setting for her reading and so we had to settle for the highest 2nd grade class. My DD is self motivated and so we're not pushing her. I would have rather had her just go off to Kindergarten instead of having to make special arrangements for her.
    I think sometimes the brighter kids are penalized for being smart. If she were to be graded as a Kindergartner,which technically she actually is, she would receive top grades, but now that she's in a higher grade, the expecations are much greater and she's not guaranteed an "E" unless she fulfills all of the requirements. So far she's fufilled about 90% of the requirements, but the quarter ends next week. I know that good grades aren't everything, but how do I explain to her that an "S" is all she's earned when she's doing so much more than a Kindergartner? Of course I'm not sure what she'll end up getting,but I do think she deserves a top grade for all that she does do!

    I would encourage any parent to spend quality time with his/her child but not so much that he/she would be bored in Kindergarten. I only worked with my DD at 4 1/2 for 2 months and she did the rest herself. She is quite a pistol and we fear her teenage years!

    Good luck to everyone!
    Kate

  • mom4boys
    Original Author
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    What a great idea Lisa! I am going to see if their are homes for the elderly around here that are interested (I also have a 15-year-old who plays chess).

    Kate, you brought up a good point--seems whevever you try to get even a little extra for these kids it's rejected. My 7-year-old had an excellent JK teacher, but in SK and Grade 1 they talked about teaching the kids to sound out words and read. When we asked, "What if our child already knows how to read?" we were met with sarcastic looks and, "Well, now he'll learn it again." But this year he has an amazing teacher. We didn't even have to ask--the teacher just said, "I taught gifted children before this; I'll be putting your son and some others in a group to give them the challenge they need." Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

  • Andy_Japan
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Hi, all. We have plenty of brains but not enough money, LOL, so I rely on the VCR and the Discovery Channel.

    I started taping shows about 4 years ago, and my then first grader watched those science shows again and agian, until he knows more about science than the teahcers at his school, and has certainly more up to date information on things like astronomy, where the Hubbel Telescope is giving scientsts new insights into the universe every day.

    He loves them, especially the forensic science stuff, though he has come away with the idea the the US is a very scary country, LOL.

    It has also helped his English. Which naturally begs the question, what about having your kids learn a foreign language? Now, after all, is the best time. Cable and satellite TV have much to offer, plus CDs and other learning materials.

    Foreign languages is one field of study where earlier is unequivocally better.

  • charityoh
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I believe all kids are gifted--just in different areas!!We need to learn how to work with them the way they learn!!

  • Mommabear
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Charityoh:

    All children have gifts to offer, but when speaking of children that are gifted the reference is to an IQ level exceeding 130 which is approximately 2 standard deviations above the mean popluation's IQ. There are very specific challenges when dealing with children who are 2 standard deviations from the mean whether those kids are above or below the mean. The phrase "all kids are gifted" is often used to attempt to deny public funds for gifted education.

    Learning how to work with the way they learn is probably the biggest challenge when dealing with gifted children. Children who are 6 or 7 years old and reading on a 6th grade level face special challenges. When parents of children 2 sd below the mean get services for their children before they are even old enough to attend school and parents of children 2 sd above the mean can't even get an extra workbook for their child there is much resentment in the public schools. I am glad to have my child in a charter school where the ALL the kids needs are attended to.

    Mommabear

  • mom4boys
    Original Author
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Just wanted to reply to Charityoh as well as say thanks for all the helpful and useful advice I have received from this post--advice that was both more in quantity and more truly practical than I have ever received from the "public" system--including doctors, schools, even an allergist! Also a big thanks to Jodi for recommending the Ontario Website. I already visited and got a wonderful welcome and more great suggestions!

    Charityoh, I've heard the phrase before that all children are gifted and we just need to figure out how they learn best to bring it out in them. I also used to believe it--it's such a nice phrase after all, and that was one of the reasons I took so long to get help for my son, because he was supposedly "no different", and he suffered for it.

    I agree with Mommabear's reply to you that this way of thinking is passed around as a way to deny not just funding but in-class help for these kids, as well as a way deny such kids exist, for fear of elitism or that parents will "push" their kids to be this way. There is a "stigma" attached to saying your child is gifted today, just as there used to be a stigma attached to saying your child had a disability. In fact I have yet to tell anyone my son is supposedly gifted.

    Two standard deviations below the mean is about the IQ of a child with Down's Syndrome. I used to be part of a group that helped care for a little boy with Down's to help his parents, and he was "gifted" in the sense you mean in that he was a delightful, loving and beautiful child. But if I had treated him the same as the other kids of the same chronological age group I cared for, I would have been rightfully accused, if not legally charged, with neglect. At 4 he was still not toilet trained, needed help feeding, had few understandable words, could not truly grasp safety rules, still put small objects in his mouth, etc.

    This group did just what you're suggesting--we were working with the parents to do all we could to stimulate his mind and skills so he could reach his best potential. And we succeeded in the sense that he became far more advanced than if we had just "let him be."

    But my cutie with Down's will NEVER catch up to his age-mates who are two standard deviations above him at the mean--anymore than a child at the mean will ever catch up to a child in the gifted range two standard deviations above them, even if the parents had the same help of a group of volunteers coaching and teaching their child almost round the clock, as this child with Down's did. It is not a matter of parents pushing. This child has different needs, and to treat the "average" children as if they had Down's would not help them either.

    Yest when it comes to children measuring two standards above, it's a different story. No funding, no help, even the Internet is scarce compared to kids who need help below the mean. But while people would be appalled to see kids below the mean have their intellectual needs neglected, people seem to see no problem with this happening to kids above the mean. "They'll cope on their own." "They can't have special classes unless all kids can have them (notice people don't clamour to put all kids in special needs classes for those below the mean!).
    I do agree all kids should be educated to bring out their best potential. And all kids have special "gifts" and talents. But to say all kids are gifted is akin to saying all kids have Down's Syndrome. And is just ain't so.

  • socrates
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    The Down's Syndrome story is a wonderful analogy. A child with intelligence 2 std below the norm is given all sorts of specialized attention.

    The child 2 std above the mean is just as different from the regular child as the Down's Syndrome kid, yet the gifted child is given no special attention at all. It's a very unfair situation.

  • mac72
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'd like to know how all of you parents with "gifted children" introduced educational material to your children? Was it at a very early age? What (if any) programs did you find to be most helpful? A 5 year old that reads at a 6th grade level!! I find that very hard to comprehend!! (considering my 1st grader is barely where he needs to be for 1st grade) WOW! You must be proud! What I don't understand is, what happens when these children get into higher grades? Will they become bored or will there still be things that "challenge" them? When I was in 8th grade they did an IQ test on me. I am ADHD and they were actually testing me to see if I had a learning disability (LOL). Boy did I suprise them when the results came back! They found out that I had a higher IQ than anyone else in my grade. They told my parents I just didn't know how to apply myself. I guess what I am trying to say by telling that story is, there are alot of children out there that are "gifted" but it's just not as apparent as it is in some other kids. How awesome it must be that your children WANT to learn and KNOW how to "apply themselves" at such an early age!! I applaud you for your efforts to provide your children with as much as you can and for speaking up to your local schools about the much needed "gifted programs" as well!
    Take Care,
    Mac

  • Mommabear
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Mac:

    I can only speak for myself. I do not think I go to any extraordinary efforts to provide educational activities for my gifted child. I have 3 children. In our household we provide stimulating activities for all the children, not just the oldest who is the one who is gifted. I do not use "educational programs" as much as I just try to get them interested in things around them. For example:

    I bought a Florida birds field guide and left it on the kitchen table. I showed the boys some of the birds in the backyard a few times and I left the book where they could grab it. They are free to pick it up any time. Sometimes they birdwatch sometimes they tvwatch. The oldest will read the names to the younger one who tries to match up the pictures with the birds.

    This is the kind of stuff we do in addition to some of the conversations we have about everyday things (see my post above). If you can get your son interested in something he will WANT to learn about it. Don't make any rules. It can be anything no matter how insignificant is it. If he chooses it he will be much more likely to want to read it.

    Good luck to you. I am sure you child is terrific and that he loves you very much.

    Mommabear

  • sheilajoyce_gw
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My 3 kids are in their 20s. 2 are gifted, the youngest especially. He is at Berkeley now. He and his brother loved chess, and their dad learned in order to play with them. But the real thrill is having a playmate as a chess opponent. It is rainy season here in California and time to send those chess sets to school for rainy recess. Our PTA hired an after school chess teacher to instruct in a minimal fee program and supplied classrooms and the playround with inexpensive chess sets. The walk-on teacher and even some of the classroom teachers got a lot of our kids playing chess, even in tournaments in school and finally playoffs at the district level over the years.

    One of the big concerns we had with our really bright nerd was his social development and contacts. These kids do have very special needs, and he was thrilled when he finally met so many more who are like him in the accelerated middle school and high school classes. He was talented across the board, but many are gifted right or left brained and more along the norms otherwise.

    As a nation, we neglect our brightest, who, reformists tell us, are one of our nation's greatest resources. Continue to be involved and make an effort to get some programs or accommodations for these kids. The "customer's" parents need to let the schools know we need this and work with them in these times of increasingly tight budgets.

  • jeif
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I definitely spent time doing things with my children (only one of three is gifted...as far as I know although all were strong early readers and continue to read above grade level) but I don't think I spent more time than my friends with non-gifted kids. I'm a book worm myself so I buy lots of books for them (garage sales mostly). I always try to answer any questions they have or we look things up if I don't have the answer. I certainly was never a flashcard parent. We play family games of cards which really help their math and board games like scrabble or boggle.
    I think I'm just a normal parent doing normal things with my kids and happen to have one that absorbs more from situations than the others.

  • debbie5
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have a 4 year old DD who is gifted, but only in certain areas, like I was. (I am horrid in math, but reading & verbal scores were through the roof as a kid). I am interested in not only our kids' experiences, but hearing from other parents like myself, who went through "gifted" programs...the good, the bad and the ugly of these programs.

    debbie5

  • amira
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    This is a wonderful thread!

    I have 2 children. Girl 6 in kindergarten, and a boy 5 in kindergarten. My boy 5 is mildly autistic and doing well a grade ahead. He is very gifted, spelling/reading/math all on second grade level, but in special classes for autistic children. My daughter is very bright for her grade level, but I feel pushing the gifted and talented might stress her. Its very fast paced. We are looking into alternative options with her. Her principal suggested she sit in with the 1st graders on some activities that bores her in kindergarten. She is the top reader/writer/math in all 4 classes in her school. I am very proud of them!

    I was like my daughter, very bright for my age. My mother had me in gifted classes and when I could not do it, I felt like a failure. I hate to put my children through that. My son is different. He is autistic, very talented at art, and has many opportunities in our school district, so I explore with him. He cannot comprehend science yet, so they are pushing the art. He knows styles, periods, art work by artist name, so for a 5 year old, thats awesome!

    Glad to find other moms with similiar experiences! Amira

  • browntoes
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have a gifted ADHD son, 10, and an extremely bright daughter, 9. The difference between them is profound, in my opinion. The giftedness issue is both a curse and a blessing.

    When my son entered 1st grade his teacher saw immediately that he would be bored out of his skull in her class and approached us about moving him into 2nd grade. He then spent 1/2 days in her class and 1/2 days in the 2nd grade class for a week or so and then was moved to 2nd grade.

    Academically is was the best thing to do. He has fared well socially for the most part. The problems arise with the his immaturitydue both to his age and the ADHD impulsity problems.

    He was placed in gifted classes in public school (he spent several years in private schools) which was absolutely the best think for him socially. He very much needs to be with other kids who think like him. He spent a couple of weeks in a regular class setting and was shunned on the playground by his classmates who thought him odd because he always knew all the answers. In the gifted class he has lots of other nerdy little guy friends!

    As for what kind of stimulation he gets? He creates his own projects. He tends to disassemble electronic toys and then reassemble them into other things. He has lots of computer strategy games. He also has a gift for music but does poorly in lessons so we gave him a key board and and sheet music and leave him be to explore at will.

    Lately the age issue has reared it's head. He is quite small and has none of the secondary sexual characteristics that his peers are developing. he gets teased a bit about his size. While some of the kids are feeling ready to go to school dances he is certainly far from ready or willing.

    The ADHD factor has been a problem with regard to organization, work habits, and behavior in school. I get tiresome reports from the teachersÂsome of them seem to fix a pin-point focus on my son watching for misbehavior because they expect it. He has impulsity problems which manifest in silliness but never violence or meanness.

    My daughter is very bright, very focused. Is at the top of her class but failed to score high enough on the gifted exam to qualify for the gifted program. It disappointed her for about a minute and a half until I told her that it didn't mean she wasn't smart, it just meant that she didn't do well on that particular test (Otis-Lennon). It has worked out fine. She is a very talented gymnast and spends so many hours at the gym that I think she might struggle to complete all the homework involved with the gifted classes.

    Aside from the test scores, the difference I see between them is in how they use information and in their respective intuitive abilities. My son will apply information to problem solve in everyday life. He also understands humor. My daughter needs to have jokes explained to her sometimes. He also has an emotional maturity and empathy that she lacks. Where my daughter will occasionally need a moral compass, my son always has a good sense of what is right or wrong without much guidance.

    If I had to make the decision again regarding having my son skip a grade, I'm not sure I'd go about it in the same way. I would probably stick with a private school setting that respected his intellect while keeping in mind that he is still very young. But none exists where I am at the moment. Now I feel committed to keeping him with his current crop of friends. We moved 2 times and with the second move he had a much harder time making friends.

    My daughter will probably have an easier life. She thinks less about things but stays very focused. My gifted son has so much to offer but is so dreamy. It will be interesting to see how they both evolve.

  • browntoes
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I have a gifted ADHD son, 10, and an extremely bright daughter, 9. The difference between them is profound, in my opinion. The giftedness issue is both a curse and a blessing.

    When my son entered 1st grade his teacher saw immediately that he would be bored out of his skull in her class and approached us about moving him into 2nd grade. He then spent 1/2 days in her class and 1/2 days in the 2nd grade class for a week or so and then was moved to 2nd grade.

    Academically is was the best thing to do. He has fared well socially for the most part. The problems arise with the his immaturitydue both to his age and the ADHD impulsity problems.

    He was placed in gifted classes in public school (he spent several years in private schools) which was absolutely the best think for him socially. He very much needs to be with other kids who think like him. He spent a couple of weeks in a regular class setting and was shunned on the playground by his classmates who thought him odd because he always knew all the answers. In the gifted class he has lots of other nerdy little guy friends!

    As for what kind of stimulation he gets? He creates his own projects. He tends to disassemble electronic toys and then reassemble them into other things. He has lots of computer strategy games. He also has a gift for music but does poorly in lessons so we gave him a key board and and sheet music and leave him be to explore at will.

    Lately the age issue has reared it's head. He is quite small and has none of the secondary sexual characteristics that his peers are developing. he gets teased a bit about his size. While some of the kids are feeling ready to go to school dances he is certainly far from ready or willing.

    The ADHD factor has been a problem with regard to organization, work habits, and behavior in school. I get tiresome reports from the teacherssome of them seem to fix a pin-point focus on my son watching for misbehavior because they expect it. He has impulsity problems which manifest in silliness but never violence or meanness.

    My daughter is very bright, very focused. Is at the top of her class but failed to score high enough on the gifted exam to qualify for the gifted program. It disappointed her for about a minute and a half until I told her that it didn't mean she wasn't smart, it just meant that she didn't do well on that particular test (Otis-Lennon). It has worked out fine. She is a very talented gymnast and spends so many hours at the gym that I think she might struggle to complete all the homework involved with the gifted classes.

    Aside from the test scores, the difference I see between them is in how they use information and in their respective intuitive abilities. My son will apply information to problem solve in everyday life. He also understands humor. My daughter needs to have jokes explained to her sometimes. He also has an emotional maturity and empathy that she lacks. Where my daughter will occasionally need a moral compass, my son always has a good sense of what is right or wrong without much guidance.

    If I had to make the decision again regarding having my son skip a grade, I'm not sure I'd go about it in the same way. I would probably stick with a private school setting that respected his intellect while keeping in mind that he is still very young. But none exists where I am at the moment. Now I feel committed to keeping him with his current crop of friends. We moved 2 times and with the second move he had a much harder time making friends.

    My daughter will probably have an easier life. She thinks less about things but stays very focused. My gifted son has so much to offer but is so dreamy. It will be interesting to see how they both evolve.

  • browntoes
    22 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    How did I post that twice? And with all the typos intact, too! Geesh!

  • browntoestoo
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I sure killed this thread way back when!

    LOL

  • momto4kids
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Hey, what happened here? I was getting really excited about this thread, then, boom...it stopped. I have a boy (8, gifted), girl (7, very theatrical), girl (5, gifted) and boy (3, who lives in his own little world). My oldest son has a near photographic memory, is excellent in math, but is on the immature side for his age (which is the main reason we don't want him to skip a grade). I find it very frustrating sometimes. While he has been tested, his is not ADD or ADHD, but he's impulsive and has difficulty with higher language processing. He blows the teachers away with how quickly he grasps things. I've told them all they had better have extra work for him (either in sheer volume or in scope/breadth) because he will become a discipline problem by being restless, chatty, etc. He is also the kind of student that can be doodling, while looking out the window, while playing with a shoe, while turned around in his chair...and be the only one in the class who can answer all the questions asked by the teacher. We're in a private school and we keep getting told they'll give him some enrichment, but it never happens. I don't know what else to do.

    Has anyone heard of Kumon? I had the older three in Kumon for a while for enrichment. They loved it. And it was all at whatever pace they wanted to go. But we've since moved and we are too far away from a Kumon center now.

    I guess I should just keep pushing at school. ???

  • browntoestoo
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    There are some online classes for gifted kids that I recently learned about. My kids have developed specific interests now so I don't have much luck pointing them in the direction of additional classes anymore. My son has shown a talent for theater and gets involved in the plays at school. My daughter has given up gymnastics because of a back injury and is now spending all her spare time at the barn.

    Stanford

    Hoagies

    CAGifted

    PennGifted

    The Stanford link is to classes. MIT publishes their course material online:

    MIT

  • lythonde
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Its interesting to hear how many parents describe their gifted kids as ADHD....I know some children really are afflicted with ADHD, but I wonder if many more who get labeled ADHD are just really bright kids who are profoundly bored by the standard pacing of the world around them? Not trying to get a big ADHD thing going (I.e., please dont flame me-LOL!), just thinking that maybe a lot of smart, underchallenged kids are getting stuck with a label they might not truly deserve? But then again, I'm the first to admit that I have no personal experience with ADHD, I just grew up with a lot of very gifted, very percocious kids who would have been dubbed ADHD in today's environment. I can't speak to raising a gifted child, since my little girl is still 3 months from joining us on this side of the womb, but this thread is just great. I hope in a few years I can add more personal anecdotes to the follow-up threads! :)

  • SandiD
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Luth, I think it's that we, as parents, are more educated now and that our society is more open to Learning Disabilities. When I was growing up, you never heard of Ritalin, Adderal or any of the other meds out there. (I've talked to my own mom about this & my siblings and I were all probably ADD/ADHD.) Actually my nephew is ADD & his psychiatrist told my sis that she was ADHD, just by watching her behavior! I remember my sister having problems concentrating during school (K or 1st grade) because it was boring to her (she later skipped a grade). When our little bro's IQ was tested, it was just a few points from genius. But he's killed all his brain cells now with illegal drug use. Maybe if the resources available now had been available 30 years ago, things would have been different for him. (He did & still does fit into almost every category for ADHD.)

    I'm the parent of two tween girls. My oldest was diagnosed as being ADHD when she was 4 months into Kindergarten. She had severe behavior problems at school (climbing on the tables, under the tables, talking over the teacher, much more). After she began treatment for ADHD, there was an apparent difference. We (her doctor, her teacher & I) had a very good relationship though it all. She had dealt beautifully with her ADHD for several years & then WAM! Puberty! Actually her teachers last year didn't even know that she was ADHD until I mentioned it. (She's not currently on a 504 plan.)

    She's always had an extremely large vocabulary. By the time she was in 2nd grade she was reading on at least 5th grade level. She's now in 7th grade & is reading on 11-12 grade level. She's always been exposed to as much as I can expose her to. She's been taking music for the past 4-5 years. (She started on piano, but also taking clarinet & is 2nd chair on her Junior High band.) They both have picked up some foreign language too. (I took German a few years ago & they practiced with me. I've also had to purchase French tapes for them.)

    Now, my little one (age 10) is quietier than her big sis, but she's also got a HUGE vocabulary. Her school tests reading comp every 6 weeks & hers was 1026 on the Lexile table this past week. She's been reading above 9th grade for the past 2 years. Her teachers last year told me that she would have been in the Gifted/Talented program except that she's TOO quiet! She's taken violin since she was 5 & decided this summer that she wanted to learn flute too.

    Good luck with your soon-to-be little one.

  • browntoestoo
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Sandi, so sorry to read about your brother. It's likely he is AD/HD. AD/HD folks often self medicate with cocaine, crack, and other stimulents. You are probably right, earlier treatment could have made a lot of difference in his life.

    Lyth! Nice to see you over here! ADD/ADHD is often found in combination with high IQs so I can understand your confusion! Is really is a disorder characterized by certain behaviors that seen all together point toward a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD. If you are interested in checking it out I am posting a link to CHADD, a national organization for AD/HD. Most people don't dig too deeply into the topic until someone close to them is diagnosed. Misconceptions abound. This link is to the diagnosis page.

  • cupajoe
    20 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Years ago I moved from a state with a fairly decent school rating to one of the worst school systems in the country.Down here my child with straight A's had to take an I. Q. test to get into any higher programs. After a six month wait, my older two were finally tested and classified gifted. Meanwhile I went to the local library and read as much as I could find about gifted children and learning.
    Interestingly enough, the classes here are designed to teach the same curriculum as a regular class. The difference is in teaching technique.Because gifted children use different parts of their brains than non gifted, they are the children who are most at risk of dropping out or becoming behavior problems. In fact, statistically, though the people with the highest I Q's should be more sucsessful than the rest of us stupid slobs,they are more likely to fall off the edge of society than the rest of us, hence the emphasis on programs that keep them interested in school.
    Of my three, the one with the highest I.Q. is most likely to lie about having done his homework.The one with the lowest I. Q. is a little worker bee because he understands that no matter how much he knows that the work still has to be done. The child who was right on the line of being gifted is just persistent enough to be unable to accept poor grades. She is in her last year of undergrad and going on to med school(God willing).
    A disadvantage to being ahead of the reading and writing of a given school grade is that the child gets to do all the teacher's errands, write all lessons on the board, and tutor all the stupid kids in each class. My kids were bored out of their minds with this type of work, and it does'nt teach them much of anything. If you choose to allow your child to work intelletually above his group of peers, be prepared to step in on the other end because they are going to need stimulation and interest that the teacher won't be able to provide.Most American public school classrooms have a high ratio of students to adults in addition to all the ADD and FAS children in each class .The students who are most disruptive get the most attention.The smarter kids get to coast, and the rest of the class gets taught a curriculum that moves at a snails pace because of all the challenges the teachers are given.Oh yeah, didd I forget to mention the two students in each class that speak enlish as a second language? Anyone who doubts this needs to volunteer at their local elementary school.Sandy

  • wichitarick
    17 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    hi

    after doing a search on here and reading most of the "gifted kids" stuff was wondering if any of folks are still out there and if any one uses an active site or forum or chat room that deals with this issue ????
    I have an 8 yr old daughter that is "gifted" and has very high I.q.test scores and is in public school and blessed with a homeroom and a gifted teacher that split the day and has been in this type of classroom since kindergarten so does,nt know different.
    I have done tremendous amounts of reading on the net and libraries on "gifted" and excelled and all the other terms out there but still don,t know much and am always looking for more imfo and opinions and an active web site/forum.
    would like to have bumped all these threads just to see if any one is still out there . I also understand the a.d.h.d talk that was just here. I am 43 and just a few yrs ago found out I am the poster child for this and now constantly watch her for signs that point this direction although I won,t know what to do because the "auto mat" type treatment here is to give full meds then talk about it ??? nah I have 12 yrs sobriety for a reason because I know this is not the answer.
    I was extremly gifted and was most often told to sit down and shut up because of hyper activity.
    But am very interesested in discussion on gifted kids hope there is still some folks around thanks Rick

  • asnmdirteha
    8 years ago

    I think that when you find your child is gifted/talented the first thing you should do is figure out their learning style and what interests them. You don't want your kids to lose the momentum of learning, sometimes it is really difficult to pick back up that desire to learn. For my students I like to keep them engaged so I use a variety of websites and workbooks that I can get my hands on. Since I'm actually on a budget I can't really purchase every book I want so I resort to whatever I can find online. So far my favorite is Beestar which gives me a lot of access to the worksheets for math and reading. They also have a special section for GT math which is really helpful to my students. It makes me so happy when they learn new concepts and are accelerating at such a fast speed.

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