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plumbly22

Holidays when you don't live near your family

plumbly22
15 years ago

We have this 'issue' every year, although to be fair this is the first year that it is only with my family, as my MIL passed during the last year...

We live 8 hours by car from my 'family' home and another 8 hours from there from his 'family' home. We are the only ones in either families with younger children (until the nieces and nephews started having children with in the past 2 years).

Every year it's the same thing... why can't we pack up our kids and all their assorted stuff and presents (santa included) and spend Christmas with the family? (take your pick in the past, both sides did it) This year my mother is being especially bad about it as she was recently hospitalized with a minor heart/lung problem (which btw she IS not doing what the dr's have told her to do to change her lifestyle)... this year she's tacking on 'this will probably be my last Christmas'.

Every year we go through the same thing, mom... Santa needs to come to our house... and some years we have packed up a day or two later to go vist one or both families... but this year DH and son are taking a trip together for 10 days starting on the 28th and the 16 YO daughter has to work on the 27th and 31st... so technically we could drive there for 8 hours on the 28th and then return for an 8 hour drive on the 30th so she could be at work... but really we'd be there for all of a day plus... is it worth it??? And no, she can't get off work, tried already... she works at a resturant and those are very busy nights... and jobs for 16 YO's that are typically only on weekends and not interfering with school are not easy to find...

So... my brother calls today to say.. .hey are you coming here after Christmas??? mom said I needed to be ready for you and the girls to stay with me for a couple of nights... wtf??? I told her no... so I say...um that's wishful thinking on her part... no we are not coming... I've told her that... he and I talk a fair amount and he says well that's what I thought and when she said it to me I thought gee I was just talking to her this morning and she didn't say her plans changed, but I didn't want to get into it with her so I figured I'd callyou...

I guess this means now she's decided she'll indirectly pressure me by telling my siblings I am coming and then I look like I'm backing out... she's making me crazy!!

So... I asked her how would she like to come here, I'll bet her a plane tiecket and all she needs to do is get to and from the airport at her end, I'll pick her up her and drive her back... OMG NO... she NEEDS to be home for Christmas... well gee mom, so do my children... including the youngest, who is on what is most likely her last year of Santa... we are staying here and not coming up at all due to schedules... get over it...

Now I am once again the bad daughter... I can't win on this.. it is so much easier for one older person to transport themself to my family than it is for me to disrupt my life and that of my children at the holiday... and for some reason I can not fathom my mother just can not understand this...

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