Teacher told daughter she hated X-mas
velma
22 years ago
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LYNN3521_aol_com
22 years agoamygdala
22 years agoRelated Discussions
x-mas deer to topiary
Comments (16)Linda, I'll have to check that out.. Kylie, I hardly ever find good construction stuff..hubby brings home nice wood n stuff..he never lets me have any..greedy, lol. I made out like bandit about 2 months ago, I found a mother load of PVC..you can bet your butt, I took it all, lol. In the middle of making a cold-frame with some, and I wanna use some more of it to make shelving for plants on my back porch. F4F, wow you musta got alotta stuff there! Wish I had a place like that around here. Today was pick-up day in my town, was cruisin after dropping the kids at school, but noone has anything out except xmas trees. I took advantage of this amazingly warm weather we are having and painted the candy cane arch today..not so bad lookin I guess, lol. It will be SO much better when there's beautiful plants growing up it. This weather is SUCH a tease!! Gonna be about 70 here today..was 68 yesterday. Just insane. Anywho..I'm gonna plug it in 2nite and see if the lights shine thru good enough with 2 coats of paint. Also be interesting to see what color it lights up as with green paint. If it doesnt look good, I'll just pull the lights out....See MoreTeacher problem advice
Comments (19)My child was an excessive talker and fidget-er. It was not until 4th grade when his teacher somehow helped him chanel this energy constructively. This year -5th- his teacher allows him to move and fiddle and raves about his effort and success being quiet. He answers and participates freely. All of his teachers have encouraged him to be himself, but have also worked with him to focus on control. That being said... I am an elementary librarian for grades Pre-K through 6th. I am astonished and very aware of the fact that the majority of children today cannot be quiet. I am not talking about regular childhood chit chat, but literal diarrhea of the mouth...noises, comments, and continued side conversations after you have expressly said no talking. The major part of my lessons are spent asking students to stop talking so I can teach. It is a common complaint among teachers and one most people cannot even imagine because they aren't there to observe it. I have one or two students in every class that constantly and consistently just keep going no matter what I try, do or say. Are they bad students? No, but they do set the tone for the entire class and when they are absent it is heaven. Do I single them out? No, but they can be exasperating and even the other students often get irritated,mainly because the talking is NOT usually related to the material at hand. Honestly at the end of the day, I feel horrible because I had to get on so and so's case again! I'm sure there are a few kids who think I don't like them but I do,I just wish THEY would get with the program. I would hope any teacher would not squash out a child's thought process or creative intellect and is only trying to give the child skills they will use throughout their life both personally and professionally. Excessive talking in the classroom is much like the neighbor,co-worker,or family member that just doesn't shut up and you dread being left with them for any amount of time. It can be very disruptive and frustrating in the educational setting especially when expectations and consequences are clearly defined and it affects 20 other students class time. I would hesitate to jump to the conclusion that she is being stymied from having opinions and self-worth. I'd like to think the teacher is helping her set and understand social boundaries and norms. But in regards to the OP's situation, her daughter, like my son, has learned and mastered the expected classroom behavior and can now participate and add constructively to the class being taught. Children make amazing leaps and bounds throughout the school year and all progress, socially and educationally, should be celebrated. =D The issue seems to be on how to establish or re-establish a working connection with the teacher for the rest of the year. I would request a conference with the teacher one more time. Perhaps explain that you are concerned because when you read her e-mails they seem to come across as hostile and sarcastic. Nicely add this is a matter that you didn't want to bother the principal with because e-mails are hard to read because they can be interpreted so very differently than the writer intended. Is there a problem that needs to be cleared up? It gives the teacher a chance to explain or puts her on notice that her attitude has not gone unnoticed, and she has a chance to rectify and change the situation. A very wise woman told me as my first child entered school that my child would not like every teacher, and every teacher would not like my child, such is life. =) So true and so liberating to both you and your child, and isn't it the truth? It helps us teach our children that everything is temporary and they may need to persevere through some trials for a time that they cannot change. This same thought is also applicable to the wonderful high points of life, they don't last forever either! HTH!...See MoreI hate my step daughter
Comments (31)Black Susan, I want to thank you for being brave and expressing your true emotions. Those judges who have not walked in your shoes should be banned, but I guess that makes a forum. I am living your life! I have a BPD SD 18....when I hear her voice, I cringe. She is so evil and devious. Her mother was also BPD and just commit suicide in March. I too love my husband but can also envision my life far away from them. I sometimes feel trapped in hell. I stumbled upon this form because I was in search of Daughter/father odd relationships. A friend brought to my attention that the BPD SD is probably jealous. She is also 95% of the reason we fight. Whenever a fight erupts, SD is right by her father in weird ways. When we are not fighting, she does what she can to get him alone. We have four children combined (all teens) and none have this issue. I once had serious concerns but watching carefully, it was SD who was trying to be more than close. I've been with them for 12 years now. The stories I could tell!!! I'm either weak or gluten for punishment. I have tried so many things. I've researched BPD, gone to therapy, family therapy....Just recently in the past year, people have seen the real monster. Just after her mothers suicide, things are making more sense to my husband. I too am on other forums, specifically for BPD....so much compassion for the disease!! These parents take a beating over and over. This is not my kid and I should be able to place boundaries, yet I am stopped and MUST tolerate because of her illness and because of the guilt her father feels. The bio mom sexually abused her and she was in foster care 3 weeks before released to her father. Uggh! So much to say...I'm sure you all have similar stories. I've had it! I know why you had an outburst. I've been there. The lies, the deceit, the con artist is enough to drive you crazy! For the past few years, I record anything that has to do with HER....she lies so much and I am always on defense. I used to just stay quiet when family would ask about our situation. I flat out give the truth and I don't care anymore. One of her goals is to go live with a wealthy aunt. (she was there a year and screwed that up). She has literally threatened me that if I tell her the truth of what goes on here, she will make my life more miserable. Entitlement!!! You earn privileges!! She graduated from a dump school and feels she gets a big party.....I refused to be involved. My house is invaded. I would love to hear from all of you who are experiencing this pain. I understand the anger, resentment and frustration. Krystal...See Morestep daughters mom died and now she lives with us........
Comments (7)Well I think i can give you a different perspective. On Sd and they way she is, i understand. I lost my mother to cancer when i was 11 1/2 years old. So...looking back on those years now, i now see that i was also a very negative , angry individual. I felt that life was unfair and that i was jipped by my mother's death. I focused alot of hate on my own father and i wasnt' the most warm person when he tried to meet woman. My first SM was to me terrible. Not to me but to her kids and i was indifferent to her. My second was amazing. Why? She did'nt infringe on my space. Thought or physical.She let me go to her ...not the other way around. You said you spend money and alot of time to get to know her and fix her room....a bonding when she was no where near being ready to do that with you. I understand your intention were good. I dont think you are a bad person...but it was too soon for this year and she was just thrown into your house without the choice. Plus grandma sounds like a B**ch....So that didn't help you cause. Your husband. Is an *ss for what he has done to you as a friend adn partner in marriage. I would be more concerned with him. He sounds like my husband who didnt' want couciling either...so i basically told him that we are either on the same page or we are not. The day i see him taking his kids side over me , is the day we divorce. I made it very clear to him. The kids fall under the marriage. UNDER the parents. THey are not equal to the parents or more important. All the kids...bio, or step.. THe main issue to address is your husband. Speak to him and stand you ground with him to clear state you treat each child the same and his daughter will be no different. You've put time and effort and she hates you?? Normal, she has emotional issues. Sit down with hubby and tell him how you feel and tell him you were hurt by his comment. That sd is part of our family and will be treated the same...she should not be treated special because mommy died. .....Does she also have biopolar???? This could also be an issue of behaviour. Question...How was your SS with you ? Was it good? Was your husband at his defense when something came up divided or did he agree with you? Cause if he was fine with him , then you should remind your hsuband how he was with his son and you and that sd does not and will not get any special treatment. In the end , if he continues to act this way, warn him it will be the demise of your marriage. If he wants to do that its his choice but you know what, pull back from her and let her dad handle her. Take care of your daughters and when she mouths off to them, you defend them tooth and nail and take it on with your hubby. Go to counciling for your own piece of mind...you can't force you husband but you can put your foot down with him..and if he doesn't like it...sorry tosay...tell him to take the door. You are either a team or you are not. Yes its harsh..but i noticed that some men here are wishy washy with their daughters and need to have it put straight in their face without suttletees... I have a friend of mine , whos' friend at work divorced because daddy put their own daughter above the marriage..well....they divorced and dad has custody because mom doesnt' want her. Its sad..it happens...but its a crazy world. 1. Take a break from her and step back. 2. Go to counciling and see what they say. 3. Keep open honest calm communication with hubby for now. 4. Let him handle her. She views you with hate because she has alot of emotions to deal with....leave her have some space. Its important. 5. Concentrate on your girls now and leave her with dad...it will be divided for a time but it wont last forever. 6. Connect with hubby again and keep connected for your relationship.....because if that goes...its dangerous for the futur. Tell him you will back off on sd but that he must be responsible for her since she has issues with you. 7 . YOU: Expect nothing from her...no cleaning..no chores...her homework? your hubbies problem....expect nothing...Focus on your girls. Your sd is angry, hurt and still trying to get over the loss of her mom...she sees you in the 'mother' position and she hates that...not you personally. She is too young to separate the two. She'll be like this for a while...i know..i went through it. Give her space....See Moresomewhere_somewhere_com
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