Well dd fell in LOVE with an outfit from limited too, which I dont normally buy from however it was her one big thing on her list. Actually clothes were the only things on her list almost, and she doesnt have to have limited too either.

Anyway, she really wanted this outfit. I told her from the start I didnt think Daddy would go for it. Well the skirt is a black "mini" skirt BUT it had the black shorts attached underneath. Well dh and I discussed it, it came with a normal sweater. We took dd in and had her try it on to see how it looked. Because dd is TALL for her age anyway, short skirts are almost always a NO. Well it ended up we could go a bigger size up to get a little more length on it and still fit since it was elastic waist type thing.

Anyway, in the end we bought it.

Christmas day my sister AND my brother really gave me heck about it. Said it was too old looking for her, too short, too grown up. They just couldnt believe I bought it for her and that my dh had actually agreed to buy it also. The skirt is actually longer than most of her SHORTS.

Now I am second guessing myself and unsure. (something I usually dont find myself doing when both dh and i agree on something like this) Have we made a mistake????

I just dont know. Now I am worried.

What to do though???

~Leslie~

From what you wrote in your posting it sounds as it the outfit is decent and not risky looking so- I wouldn't worry.
Many styles for 11 yr. old girl's can look more like a teen style. But as long as they cover the proper areas and aren't too tight or short, you shouldn't worry at all.
Your daughter is just acting her age. She's at an age where she's not a teen, but feels she not a little girl either. So, of course she is attactive to teen styles.

I will have to admit there are some 11 year old girl's that dress risky...I though think dressing risky is not even appropriate for a teen, let along an 11 year old.

It is not the place of your brother and sister to criticize what you allow your daughter to wear.
The decision was made properly by you and your husband. Any criticisim from your siblings about your daughters outfit I would consider rude and it should be ignored.
~Lynn~

I'd discount that your siblings have to say about the matter.

Mommabear

From your description of the clothing is sounds like your family may have over-reacted. However, you may want to consider that if your family over-reacted, how many others will?

Sometime ago I read a short article and don't recall it verbatim but it may be helpful to think about:

A teacher showed her class a picture of a police officer and said, "Who is this person and what do they do?" The class naturally replied that this was a police officer, and they fought crime.

Then the teacher went on to show various pictures of people and continued asking the same questions--pictures of nurses, nuns, doctors, firefighters, garbage collectors, etc.

Finally she asked, "How did you know from these pictures who these people are and what these people do?"

And the students naturally answered, from their clothes and how they look. So the teacher confirmed, "Are you saying that you can tell what a person is and what they do by the clothes they wear?"

The class was uncomfortably silent.

The teacher then finally asked, "When you dress for school each day, or when you pierce your lip or dye your hair green, what are you telling the world about you?"

The fact is, people will judge you by what you wear. Not necessarily the brand name--but wearing a long skirt definitely has different connotations than wearing a mini-skirt. You might want to think about how short this mini-skirt is through objective eyes--and what it's saying to others about your daughter. Good luck.

Im not upset that my sister and brother objected or shared their opinions. It has made me question myself, after I thought I had already anaylized the situation.

What others perceive from this outfit is exactly my sisters and brothers point. Myself, I dont think the skirt is too short. It is 1 inch shorter than her school uniform skirt. However, because it is black and shorter, straighter, and more form fitting (NOT TIGHT) it gives an appearance much different than her uniform. So the length isnt really at issue, its the over all appearance.

I bought the knee high boots for her too, so she would be wearing the black knee high boots, the skirt and a normal sweater.

While the outfit is NOT provocative at all, my sister and brother point out that its too mature for her.

THAT is what I am questioning myself on now.

HOWEVER...my dd is on the verge of going into the JR. Miss sizes. My options of clothing in the jr. miss is even worse than the kids sizes. My dd at age 11 wears a size 7 1/2 WOMENS shoe,wide. She is VERY tall. All legs, and skinny. She has to wear larger size pants for length.

Anyway, thank you all for your advice. Im not sure how I feel. Something in me says if I am this concerned then I must surely already have my answer. My dilema is, I already gave the outfit to my dd, so I cant take it back.

Maybe I lost sight of my judgement with this outfit because she wanted it so much, even though it looks nice, maybe it does make her look 16 instead of 11. :(

Thanks everyone~

My eleven year old wears short skirts, heeled shoes and boots all the time and that includes to school. I know some people may have a problem with the way she dresses and I get the odd remark but what others perceive does not concern me.

Some people may for example disagree with girls wearing trousers, does that bother you when your DD wears trousers?

You'd have to get an idea of how your daughter will wear it, and what she looks like in it. It's sometimes the case that an outfit can look scadalous on one person, and on someone else with nearly the same measurements it looks positively prim. Get a look at your daughter in the outfit.

Ask her if she feels comfortable. With her in it you can address 'issues' image-related potential problems as you can see them. Ask her again how comfortable she is. Basically, you still get to decide and you can consider your daughter's feelings. And, if the outfit seems like it should be returned, work with your daughter to ensure that something suitable is found which can please you both.

P.S. Even if you already gave, it's one of the more fundamental inequities of life (at least as a child) that parents sort of always have the 'right' of editorial judgement in these kinds of things. But, you can attempt a good faith discussion and try to acheive a mutually tolerable solution. (The problem of an 11 year old looking 16 is potentially serious enough that making an exchange is probably a good idea.)

You describe a very modest outfit and I am really not sure what your problem is. Is it that it makes her look older? If so I think naure has played a part in that.

I think the outfit is probably more appropriate for a 15 or 16 year old not an 11 year old. I mean what exactly is the statement when a guy sees an 11 year old in an outfit like that? I think I lost sight of things for awhile or maybe because she wanted it so much and techically there is no skin or anything sleezy about the outfit. I guess Im just riding this fence on this issue as its coming up more and more with her and getting HARDER AND HARDER to find "in style" clothes that are still within our belief system as OK. Does that make sence? LOL

I have no problem with dd wanting to wear "chic" clothing, I was always into clothes myself. I do however feel young girls are dressing too old these days, sleezy, and too much skin.

Guess Im struggling with a little girl getting older and keeping the clothes fun yet appropriate.

Thanks again.

If you are second guessing yourself, maybe you just need to limit where she can wear it. Maybe not to school, but out with the family OK, or if you take her and friends somewhere, it's ok. And maybe a family gathering with grandma and grandpa is not ok because it makes grandparents more comfortable if she is conservative, being sensitive to other's feelings. Then you are teaching her to take responsibility for her choices and when an outfit is appropriate and when it is not.

I don't have a daughter that age, yet :o) But I think if you make a big deal out of this outfit, go back on your long thought out decision, you will make this a bigger battle than it needs to be. After all, by next Christmas, is won't even fit her anymore.

It might be possible to tone down the outfit just by wearing some patterned or textured tights and different shoes. Chunky mary janes?

Truthfully, I can't really invision the skirt/shorts combo so I don't know whether that would just be a ridiculous suggestion or not. Just a thought.

I am not there to be my children’s friend, I am not their buddy I am dad, period
What we say goes, temper that with love and physical affection, and yes hugs.