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Expanding Our Family
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Posted by KerryClem (My Page) on Mon, Dec 10, 01 at 13:51
| We have an 8 month old dd and have talked about when to expand our family. We have talked about starting to try again when dd is about 1-1.5 years old (I am on Depo....). My next shot is in february, and I am considering making it my last one.... what, based on your experiences, do ya'll think? (dd will be one at the end of March....). I just really want to start thinking since I'm doing the shot and am locked into 3 months of it each time.... TIA! |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: Expanding Our Family
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| One of my friends was told that it would take her 2 years after she stopped her depo shot to get pregnant. This was 3 months ago and she now just found she is expecting. She is thrilled but at the same time she wanted to have a little more time. You could not get the shot and use alternative birth control such as charting or condoms until you are ready to start trying. Good luck!!! |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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I liek the 3-yr, dh likes 2.... I am just afraid of it taking awhile and there being more than 3 (like 4 or 5)years between them.... If I took my last shot in Feb, we would be out of the running to try till the end of May, beginning of June..... Just trying to get some input.... I really don't know, and appreciate any and all views on this!
Condoms are great - I just can't use them, and I took the classes on NFP as part of marriage prep and know taht I just could not do that - too lazy/irresponsible/inflexible, whatever..... :o) |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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| I'm thinking if you guys want to wait until 2-3 years, then do whatever you plan. What I mean is maybe plan like you are thinking now and it will happen when it does. If you get pregnant earlier than you wanted, then it was meant to be and if it takes longer than you want, same idea. I just know when my son was 8 months old I wasn't planning the 2nd one yet. I wanted to spend time with him and be with him and get through the terrible two's first. Now it's time and within the next month we're trying from #2. I'm glad we waited this long. Shane will be 3 in April. ~Leslie~ |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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| If you are wondering about what amount of time does someone think is a good range of time between two children, then my opinion is 3 to 4 yrs. Actually closer to 4 yrs. I had read this, and also my sister-in-law , the first in the family to have children did this. What I read is how important it is for a child to have lots of attention in Life the first 3 to 5 yrs. And spacing your children with that much time in-between can allow you to spend a lot of time with each child. Plus when I had children the time spand that ended up equally 3 1/2 yr. nearly 4 allowed me to have my older child toliet trained and out of diapers before the second child came alone. Also I did have a lot of time with my first child. About the time I had my second child my first child could more understand that the baby needed attention. Today grown they are very close. I think it you put too many year in-between the children never get to know one another. Of course it can not be guaranteed no matter how you plan the years in-between births that your children will be close to one another as growing up or adults.
I guess my sister and I really thought about my sister-in-laws time span betweeen her children because we both expanded our families putting around four years between the birth of our two children. Just think everything through before expanding your family. Of course you can't always know exactly how things are until you experience them-but really think how you want your children spaced.
~Lynn~ |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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| There are benefits and drawbacks to any situation, I imagine. It might be dificult to have two kids at very needy stages at once, but if two is your limit you'll be able to get alot of that baby stuff (like diapers) over with once and for all. Close together in age, your children would share alot of the same kinds of interests (developmentally) at near enough times. Since they would have more in common, they might end up being closer to each other emotionally - a gift that could extend beyond your own lifetime. Two year olds don't seem to be the best age for handling the change in their lives that a newborn might bring, but by the same token, they grow up not really remembering a time before their younger sibling. As a practical matter, spacing would also be influenced by how large a family you intend to have. If your going big you better get 'em in while you can! If two's your limit you have a bit more leeway. Whichever spacing seems best to you, just remember not to take this kind of stuff for granted. You could have twins. You could have trouble conceiving. If you fall into the trap of trying to explicitly control these kinds of things, you may just set yourself up for disappointment. "Best laid plans..." and all. Similarly, you could spend a lot of time worrying about which would be best, only to find yourself without a choice in the matter anyway. Whatever happens, you'll still have a wonderful family. If your children are spaced two years apart, you will learn all the joys of that spacing. If they are four years apart, you'll learn the beauty of that spacing. I guess my point is: --It's all good-- |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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| As the previous posters mentioned, it is all up to you. I wanted to wait until my oldest was in school before having the next one because I thought that would be ideal. Neither one would be in high school or college at the same time. My plans failed. I got pregnant the 2nd time when my daughter was only 14 mos. old. My son was born exactly 4 weeks before her 2nd birthday. Even though she was potty trained before he was born, as soon as she saw me changing his diapers she wanted the same attention and started wetting again. My kids are now 22 and 20 and they have rarely gotten along. The only good thing is that they ended up going to different high schools because the boundary lines were changed after my daughter was already in high school and she opted not to go to college so we're only paying for our son. |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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| I have 3, there is 3 yrs and 2 mos between each of them. I like the age span. I had a couple years with the first one alone. Yet #1 and #2 are close enough that they play together (and fight together :o)) well, as do #2 and #3. I even have a litte time with #3 alone when #1 and #2 are in school. #1 was 6 when #3 was born, that was very helpful. But even when the next in line is 3yrs, they are verbal, close if not completely potty trained. It worked very well for us. However, someone pointed out that I will have them in high school, middle school and elementary at the same time. Now I am expecting #4 in early June. This will be 2.5 yrs younger than #3, a little close, but we weren't really planning this (just not very diligently planning to avoid it either). We'll see how different this is. I won't have as much time with #3 and #4 alone, but I don't think they'll mind. Of course, the year #1 starts college, #2 starts high school, #3 starts middle school and #4 will be in 4th grade (I've had some time to think about this). That sounds more stressful than the early years! |
RE: Expanding Our Family
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There is never a clear answer to this question. It depends on what you want to do and how you feel about it. Me, personally, I did not want two in diapers at the same time. =)
When I had my son (11yrs ago...lol) we did not "plan" him. The Dr told me I would have a hard time getting pregnant. Well three months off birth control and I was pregnant. We were DISCUSSING the IDEA of having another child when Christopher turned three. Well I guess discussing it works....Rebecca came along when Christopher was 2yrs and 9months old. When I went to the Dr, he made a comment that may help in your decision....he said "oh great, they will be just about three yrs apart....perfect age span". I am not sure about "perfect" but they go to the same school, have the same group of friends and are close. (they do argue like they should as well...lol) But they are very protective of each other. So I recommend that age span.
I also remarried and have three daughters from my husbands first marriage and the age span is similar. I have three girls in high school...ACK. But all in all....the age range is great. side note....
don't have them too far apart. I am one of three. I two brothers---one five yrs older and the other five yrs younger. We grew up seperately and independantly. I love them dearly but am not as close to them as I would like. We are three completely different people. And my older brother has nothing in common with my younger one and it makes it hard for them to "connect". My mom tells me all the time how she thought it was a great idea to have one start kindergarten and then have a new baby....but now she regrets having us so far apart. just some thoughts
good luck |
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