redroze, I had my first son at 32 years, my second son at 35 years and my daughter at almost 40. I'm glad you decided to begin the journey : ) Careers can't compare to family. There's so many ways to have both these days anyway. When I had my first I was working as a sales rep with yellow pages advertising. I quit when my son was almost 2 to start my own business, a childcare center. The business afforded me the opportunity to be an entrepreneur while being with my kids. Once my kids were too old to be at the childcare center, I arranged it so that I didn't have to be there every day (I have a staff of 20 teachers plus a director and cleaning service). This arrangement gave me the freedom to drive my kids to their after school sports, rehearsals, lessons, etc. Now one son lives in R.I. and the other is in college in Boston. And I drive my daughter daily from CT to NY and back for pre-professional ballet classes. And as our lives have evolved, my schedule has been able to accommodate it . . . I've been very fortunate. My only regret is that they grow up. I'd give anything to be able to do it all again from the beginning. I'm jealous that you're just beginning. I hope to someday have grandkids swimming in my new tub : )

Sassy, I understood in the posting you asked this question (poor smashley must think we're both the rudest people possible by now) and I did ask. I actually asked 'is it just you she won't use manners with'. And yes, I asked how often it is expected. You reacted to my question on 'how often' (without answering it) and tuned out the rest of where I was going with my post. And it was your choice to today focus on the part of the previous posted thread of the part you either didn't like and/or get the points I was trying to clarify. I'm 50 years old, sassy, I was 5 when first thought there was a problem as it was once I entered Kindergarden I did not like sitting still listening to the teacher droan on or had problems slowing back down and getting into learning mode right after recess (unconstructive period). I never had problems with the please and thank-you, I never had problems with learning school work, but I had a consistent *teacher/s* (one mom, one dad, one home, no divorce issues, no stepsiblings, a quiet setting to be taught in on a consistent basis) and it truly makes a huge difference . In one of your posting you also said drs were looking into other issues on your SD and her behavior. Which was where I was trying to go in the post you took offense to by my questioning. I like to clarify, that part comes from years of working with grievances and contract lanuage issues (it's what I do)but when I moved in to ask direct question of you, you chose to blow off where I was going with it. Which of course, did not bother me, but as you decided to bring up what you *think* I was saying/meaning here today in this post...well, here I am again and this time *you* are at least hearing what I am/was saying even though we've stolen smashley's thread. Your stepdaughter has from the sounds of it, many different issues, not just ADHD, and she has many different *teachers* (you, dad, BM grandparents) all pulling this girl with different lessons (different homes, different consistency, different environment settings from place to place). The grandparents are not helping this child, and frankly the grandparents should be set down and told exactly that. They'd get a choice from me (your husband and BM in your case) that they have two picks 1) they sign up for group setting ADD/ADHD guidence classes and be willing to attend indivual counseling sessions on how to work with and deal with their granddaughter or 2) visitation will have to be limited as they are hindering any progress that might be being made with the child. And sassy, as I said, you can't compare one child and their case to another child and their case (yours). I have ADD and have actually been able to put it to use in my adulthood as I can do multi things in multi directions and never miss a beat (unless one counts my typing, the fingers and thoughts don't always co-togehter). My sons have ADD, both function every well as young adults and have lots of responsibilty in their career choices, neither is medicated. My little girl has ADHD and it was a first for me, that 'H' is a whole another story. She's smart as a whip, absorbs school very easy and excells at her work, but she takes Adderall during school hours. When she visits grandma's house, my mother handles her and teaches her very while, but then my mother dealt with me all those years ago. My little one gets away with nothing that is expected and routine for other children, no crutches for her, but it is an on going thing. It does not bother me to tell her (and repeat repeat repeat) what chores ect. she has or what manners I best be seeing because they are not optional. Her school teachers have always made a point to tell me how well behaved and sweet and polite she is at school. But it's not been easy or quick to get these things installed in her. At home sometimes she's struggles on 'free time' and I have to repeat, encourage, repeat, and at times she's just being a stinker that has nothing to do with her ADHD. It's my job to see and know the difference. I don't think I have suggested to you that you 'excuse' your SD's behavior or that she not be accountable because she has ADHD, but I am suggesting that you acknowledge the fact that the girl has a challenge and it takes a lot effort and understanding on the *teachers* part and in your case you have it extra hard as the girl is dealing with more than just ADHD and being bounced around with people who have decided to let the child be 'excused'. I think you've got to work on getting all the *teachers* on the same program before any real progress can be made. I really do wish you all the best.

Socks- thank you! This fall I will have 3 in school and only one at home. I have already started mentally preparing myself for that. That and the fast approaching "none at home" stage that is quickly approaching! Thought I would share a pic of her cake. She FINALLY told me what kind of cake she would like, 2 days ago. She requested Elmo and chocolate cake. I made her an elmo cake in red velvet with cream cheese icing. She was happy with the cake. Here she is inspecting and giving her "approval" (Notice those curls of mine that I previously mentioned my daughters inheriting). Here is the cake itself. Not too shabby I think, considering it only took me 20 minutes to decorate it!

Vee, I loved your description of those female presenters. They do tend to flick their long hair. Part of the job requirement, long hair, is it? I do learn some new facts from them but the content seems to be rather lightweight and they do some reconstructions in a way that makes me wince! I second your description of the British rissole. I think an egg was added to the mince to bind the ingredients. My grandmother made mince by hand grinding the leftover Sunday roast through an ancient machine clamped firmly to a kitchen table. A crust of bread was the last thing pushed through to help clean the mechanism and add bulk to the mixture.