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Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Posted by popi (My Page) on
Mon, Dec 18, 06 at 2:22

I went to a family lunch, yesterday, and my neice, 15, refused to get dressed, and spent the day in her pyjamas. When asked by her father to go and get dressed, she said "no". I asked her why she didn't want to get dressed, and she said "Its Sunday".

I was intrigued by this behaviour, why do you think she would insist on doing that ? I know its all about control, but she looked silly.

Also, do you think its okay for her to do this ?

Teenagers, sure are odd sometimes !

I would be interested to hear what others think, and how you would handle this child ?

Popi


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Wow, you can sure tell who the boss in that family was can't you.

You hit it on the head..It was her control issue. It is funny though, I don't know how I would have handled that issue because my kids would have been mortified to be seen in their PJ's in public (except the bottoms, that is OK in the US right now for some reason - depending on the bottoms of course, some are "made" to be worn in public).

Sometimes it's the "Pick your battle", that may be where the parents were at. If they're haveing other issues with her, the PJ's may have been the least of their worries.

I really do have to say I am SOOOOO glad I am out of that stage, I truely hated the teen years...late teens 14-19. I'd take a nasty 2 year old any day!!!

Vickey-Mn


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

I don't think it's OK....
But she has obviously been allowed a "jammie day" in the past and sees no reason to change now...
My grand kids are allowed a "jammie day" now and then...but it means they can't leave the house and no one comes over...
I think it's good for a kid to have a nothing to do day on occasion....most seem so over programmed now...
Obviously this is not a church going family....
Linda C


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Vicky I think she had those pyjama bottoms, you spoke about, maybe that's why she thought it was okay. She had bottoms on, and a normal top on. Mind you it was a hot day, so she would have been roasting !

Yeh, a two year old is a breeze, at least you can pick them up and "place" them out of the way ! LOL

Popi


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

It's hard to make a judgment on this because we don't know the whole picture. I pretty much agree with Vickey; the parents might be picking their battles, and if she wanted to look silly, then ok. When you compare this with other issues like general behavior, grades, type of friends, etc. it really isn't that important.

I was lucky and had wonderful teenagers (boys) and would never have traded either for a 2-year old.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

>> When asked by her father to go and get dressed, she said "no".

I think that's they key. When ASKED by her father? Some families ask their kids to do everything, accentuating "please". Seems that sometimes there should be no asking, but telling.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

""Seems that sometimes there should be no asking, but telling.""

Perhaps an even way to get them to do things, rather than telling, is making a statement.

Perhaps like "It's time for you to get dressed." or "I need you to put on some pretty clothes."


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

I see teenagers in the malls with the bottoms of their PJ's on, I don't quite understand it.

Must be a statement of some sorts.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

I am no teenager, but I would wear flannel pants and a t-shirt to the grocery or McDonalds. Think sweat pants. I dont think of them as my pajamas b/c I do not sleep in them. I put them on like sweat pants, which I don't wear. I think that is popular way to wear them, much more so for younger people. So if sweat pants are appropriate, I think the flannel pants are, too. But if sweats aren't right for the occassions, neither would flannel pants, IMO. In my family, we have some of both kinds of gatherings.

However, more to the point, if I asked my teen to change I would expect him to. I would (and have) said "That's not appropriate for today, you need to change." I get a sigh (b/c I so clearly do not understand anything) but the clothes get changed to be appropriate for the occassion.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Stephanie

Do your flannel pants you wear to McD, resemble pyjamas ?

That fashion hasn't taken off in my part of the world, however after NYE...the fashion of very short dresses and boobs falling out seems to be very popular, now that is a worry!


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

One of my girls from work got called into the office at school for wearing jeans that had holes in the knees. She went out to her car and got a pair of pj bottoms to put on. That was acceptable. Go figure.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Stephanie,

I am another one that will wear jammie pants and a t-shirt when I am out and about. I started doing this in high school and still do it. Who cares what you wear, keep in mind it isn't like I am wearing a nighty and running around town. These days some jammie pants look better than the crack showing pants some girls wear.

Stacie


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

I wouldn't care about the fact that the teen was wearing PJ's during the day. It's not a big deal. They wear PJ bottoms to school all the time. The concern to me is the fact that she said "no" when asked to do something. (I have no problem asking my teens to do something and saying PLEASE after.-"Darlin' can you empty the dishwasher,please."-,and it gets done. I'm polite when I ask non-family members to do something. I don't treat my family members less polite then I do strangers.) When I ask the kids do it. Period. Our teen years have been great. Hardly any problems at all. Trade for the terrible twos...no way! NancyLouise


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

I agree with the saying "NO", but I don't agree with the wearing of pj's.

I Australia people certainly don't wear pj's anywhere outside the house. A curious fashion trend ! I get dressed to go down to the letter box to collect the paper, in the morning !

Popi


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Wearing pajama pants outside is no different than wearing any other kind of pants!

Pajama pants are made of cotton or flannel (solid OR prints) and have an elastic waist. Nothing revealing, nothing scandalous.

Not something I would do... but I have no problem with them being seem in public.

"I Australia people certainly don't wear pj's anywhere outside the house."
I recently saw a photo of a bunch of kids in Sidney... and there were pajama pants being worn!


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

A friend was telling me that she say a full grown man in a pair with a sportcoat on the top, and these pajama pants on the bottom. What was he thinking?


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Did your friend actaully SEE him or did she see this photo on Yahoo news...
those aren't PJ bottoms though... they are LEGGINGS!

Here is a link that might be useful: Milan Fashion Week ... for men


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

She saw him out shopping. She said he was wearing those flannel pajama bottoms with a sportscoat. She also said the guy was in his 40's...well dressed from the top up, and then those goofy flannel PJ bottoms on.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

I had a problem with getting one of my Dd to school.She wouldn't get out of the car when we got there (she has behaviour and learning difficulties).We resolved the issue only to be met the following day with her refusing to get dressed.Rang the school councillor who told me bring her in her pajamas she'll only do it once, wrong on the third day she just got dressed and went.
On the other hand as a reward for completing a Reading Challenge youngest dd's school had a whole school PJ day.They had breakfast at school and guest storytellers,it was such a happy colourful event.
BTW I am from Australia too and wouldn't consider going out in my PJS either.I would probably get asked if I were going to a fancy dress party!


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

While *I* wouldn't go out in my PJs, I know my daughter's generation isn't so....proper, for want of a better word. When she and her friends were 16-19, they often went places in their pyjamas- to the local Chinese take out, McDonald's- she and a friend even came up to visit me at my then workplace (a skydiving facility) in their pyjamas, which I found a little embarrassing at first, but all that happened was that some of the older skydivers good-naturedly teased them a little and the younger set didn't seem to notice.
Pyjamas cover up more than bathers most times so I guess they're not so bad, all in all. At least they don't look like."ladies" of negotiable virtue... :-)


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Getting in on this conversation a little late but to me, it isn't the issue of whether the pajamas are ok to wear in public or not. The issues are:

Do the parents feel it's appropriate for the situation?
When the parents want their daughter to do something, does she do it or refuse?

My kids wear t-shirts with all kinds of stuff on them all the time. Perfectly fine to wear in public. HOWEVER not appropriate in all situations. When we're going out to a nice restaurant or to a family event where I care about their appearance, I tell them, no tshirts with writing on them. They change. Period.

Now, not being there or knowing these people, it's hard to evaluate the situation. Maybe the dad asked her to change but didn't really care that much if she did or not. Or maybe what dad wants carries no weight with the daughter. If it's the former, then all's well. If it's the latter, well, then, as vicky above said, Wow, you can sure tell who the boss in that family was can't you. And that would definitely be a result of how she was raised -- with parents who ASK and PLEAD for their kids to do things instead of telling them, and executing consequences when the child refuses.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

A highschool senior I work with came into work the other day and immediately started peeling off pj bottoms.. jeans underneath. I asked her what she was doing and she said it was called "dressing out". Apparently, pj bottoms are fine for PE class and she used them to cover her jeans rather than actually dressing out. *LOL*

Another time, one of the other girls I work with had jeans that had tears in the knees. Torn jeans are not allowed in school so she put pj bottoms on instead. Go figure that one!

I learn so much from these girls and it scares me to death. Love 'em, though. They really are good kids. :)


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

It was family. It was in her home. It was a warm day so would it have been ok with everyone if she wore shorts and a belly shirt instead? Was everyone else dressed up or casual? I think her wearing PJs is an extremely "mild" form of rebellion if indeed it was that. Let it go.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

Stephanie_in_ga nailed it--pajama bottoms are the new sweat pants. My son's high school actually sells them at the school store--school colors with the school's name printed down the leg, exactly like the sweats they no longer sell because they didn't have enough orders for them. And really, what is the difference between pajama bottoms--a pair of flannel pants--and sweat pants?

Seriously, if you think wearing pajamas as daywear is rebellion, god help you. (no offence... but come on!)


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

My eyes nearly fell out of my head, as I saw a teenage girl, in the local shopping centre, walking along, wearing pyjama bottoms (long ones) and SOCKS !

I had a chuckle about that one.

Seems like the fashion has caught on here now.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

My mom always taught me that first impressions can never be taken back. Don't get me wrong. I was a teenager once too and i tried to "push" the boundries. However im glad her teachings have stuck with me. Whenever i see a person (especially an adult) wearing the PJ bottoms im thinking "Glad you made it out of bed today!"(LOL)
The teenager and the parents are being discussed and the fact that the teenager said "NO." It is the parents job to correct her bad and disrespectful behavoir.


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RE: Pyjamas all day at family lunch.

While my younger sister was still living at home and when we celebrated a holiday with turkey, ham and all the trimmings, she would eat a bologna sandwich. We lovingly teased her a little, but let it go. It didn't last long, so ignoring it when it's only family might be a good idea.


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