For only children & parents of only childen. (kinda long).
TaraWafer
22 years ago
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trekaren
22 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Birth order of Children (kinda long but good)
Comments (3)Three boys for me... all of it true! If only I knew now what I knew before #1, I could have saved so much money and time... Such is life......See MoreEducation programs....I need to vent! (kinda long...)
Comments (14)I've taken some classes at the local Community College, since they transfer to my current 4 year school and are much cheaper and closer to home. While the classes themselves have been wonderful - great professors, good texts, lots of support, great schedule, dealing with the administrative process is a NIGHTMARE. Seriously, no one in administration ever picks up a phone or returns a phone call or email. Ever. Even when I go there in person, unless you get the rare staff member who knows what they're doing, there's a good chance something will be screwed up. I just sent in a letter to try and get transcripts sent somewhere and I'm sending all the positive thoughts I can that this will go smoothly. I may double order, just in case. Even the information desk staff is rude and grumpy. At the 4 year school in which I'm also enrolled, staff is a dream. Very helpful, kind and completely competent. I've also taken online courses, one from a school in Utah - Weber State University. It was a biochem class with lab and it was outstanding. Great class, and while the registration process took a little navigating, it ended up fine. Thankfully, I'm almost done with this process. So, yes, I feel your pain. In a big, big way. AM...See MoreIs it too early to be worrying about this?(kinda long)
Comments (9)I do know someone who has never been forced or even pressured but really was let to come at the skill at their own pace (teaching, support, and opportunity were freely available and occurring). Basically, that child became really consistent and 100% 'trained' overnight when they started school. In general it's easier for a parent (or older person) to 'force' or pressure younger children. Once children can express preferences, and agreement or disagreement and have a kind of logical understanding 'force' can be counterproductive. Children who are at your daughter's age will need to explore their new imposed situation (this whole potty thing). From the adult perspective you're waiting to see what happens, and making sure to ask her if she has to go and probably being consistent with whatever the routine is. From her perspective, she has this whole new thing to worry about but she learns that when she says she has to go, then she sits on the seat (and you give her any help probably, and encouragement). She may not yet have connected her urination with 'having to go' though. That can take some time, and learning. That's where you can exert some influence usually if you want by making her experience on the seat end differently when she does go (adding a reward of some kind), but keeping the general routine as predictable as possible even when she doesn't actually 'go.' It's easy for an adult to be automatic about what the different urges feel like, and what to do when they occur. Children have to learn and become familiar with where to go and what to do. This whole flushing thing, and whoah what weird seats, and there is special language and phrases to be used. If she's getting used to the idea of the place and the sitting and the special seat, but not actually 'going' or seeming to have connected all the dots quite yet, then try to grant her (and you) that she is in fact learning. Also, the repetition of the rituals is important to reinforce for her that she knows and can know what will happen (and that things are predictable for her). probably, social pressure and wanting to do well in school would have her up to speed instantly if she had seemed slow in this area; but, as it is she's probably still becoming acquainted with the basics in a meaningful way even though she's not quite trained yet...See MoreFor only children & parents of only childen. (kinda long).
Comments (8)Hopefully I can give you a little bit of insight into both sides of the debaate. Untill I was 11 years old, I was an only child. Psychologists say this psychologically makes me an only child! I loved being an only child. I was very creative and friendly, I was very curious and intellectual. I loved to sing with my dad and do crafts with my mom we loved nature and the three of us took long hikes and camped alot and travelled. I am very musical, my parents were able to support me in piano, violin, brass and voice. But more than anything else they were there for me emotionally 100%! I loved being an only child! When I was 11 years old my parents had another daughter. They have often said to me and other family members that they regret having another child, not that they don't love her, it was just very hard and very different raising her. There were complications at the birth which led to my sister having a conduct disorder. She is a very self centered, manipulative and mean person. And I am not saying this because I am jealous or anyother hidden agenda, I am just stating a fact. It was so hard on my parents being in their late 30's and starting all over again and all of the trials they had to deal with, still are dealing with at age 21! Two years ago my father passed away, trust me it was not my sister I turned to for support, but my husband and friends I have had for many years. Onlies create surrogate siblings; one of my best friends is an only and two of my cousins that are close to my age I view as my family. We have the same relationships siblings have. With my family now it was a heartbreaking decision to go from one child to two, but in the end we decided to have more children, and I thank God we did our second child is sweet and loving and kind. That was my greatest fear, that we would hurt our first born by having a second child, but their mother's history has not repeated itself! My husband has 5 siblings, and his stories and relationships are amazing! His mother has 8 siblings, and you should see Christmas, what an amazing celebraton of life and heritage! When we got married I told my husband, either we have only one child or four! I think the key is having them really close together, shared history and growing through life's joys and struggles is what makes siblings gel and become interlinked! As a child I didn't know this was something I was missing, as an adult I get to experience it through my own children! Best of luck! Trust God and he will guide your family!...See Moredarkeyedgirl
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