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sad sweet sixteen

Posted by lbelle (My Page) on
Sat, Nov 3, 07 at 20:12

I feel so bad for my daughter. She turned sixteen a couple of weeks ago and nothing has seemed to go well. She was supposed to plan a party and then school work and activities that week got her bogged down with no time to deal with plans or invitations. Then, she was to get her driver's permit on her birthday, but the school didn't have the form she needed done . The party(someone else's) she was to go to that night seemed "too scary", so she didn't go.(that was a good thing, but still, who wants to spend your 16th on a friday night with your folks).

Then, she finally gets her act together to decide what type of party and when and handed out invitations to her 10 "good friends" for a sleepover. Well, granted, it was short notice, but my complaint and her tears are for 5 girls just not showing up. No phone call that am or the day before. She called them when they weren't showing up, and got lame excuses. I think it's just that this generation just doesn't know how to ask(or tell) their parents about their plans. And, also , they really have no idea what an RSVP really means.

Lesson learned.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: sad sweet sixteen

Yes I have to agree with you there.

I think its important that we teach our children the right social skills. At least they will know how to be polite and good reliable friends.

Its important to live up to your word, if you say you will do something then you stick to it.

You are right, all lessons learnt for your daughter.

Same thing happened to my daughter at that age, but she has learnt from it all. She has also learnt how NOT to behave!

Happy 16th to your daughter.

At least she had 5 girls turn up !


RE: sad sweet sixteen

I am wondering if some of these kids are not allowed to go to sleepovers, but they are too embarrassed to admit it. So they let things sort of hang, because they do not want to embarrass themselves, or hurt their friend, so they simply avoid it.

RE: sad sweet sixteen

lbelle, my DD's 16th bday was last year, in fact she just turned 17 and now has her driver's license. All of her friends at school had these catered affairs for their sweet 16. Many were at country clubs, catering locations, etc. I am from the old school, and I feel these parties are ridiculous. What are these parents going to do for these kids when the graduate or marry? Okay off soap box on that.

This age is a very difficult age. My DD has many acquaintances but only very few "close" girlfriends so obviously a party wasn't in the cards for her. DH and I took her to NY for the weekend last November and did all the things she wanted in the city. We all had a blast. I think it is too much pressure on these girls to do what the others are doing. I do understand the Latino Quincenera because that is a tradition for centuries, but this age of MTV My Sweet Sixteen, and the excesses I think has made these girls very competitive. My daughter enjoyed attending all of these parties and it put a major dent in my purse since all of these kids attend the same school, you can't wear the same dress to every party. She still feels the same way a year later, she wouldn't want a party that big for her birthday. She and 5 of her girlfriends went out to a dinner at a restaurant (not fancy) and enjoyed a nice meal. Her 5 friends gave her very nice gifts, but the best gift to her was the friendship shared over a dinner celebration of her 16th birthday.

My DD plays it safe. She only invites friends she can definitely count on. If they are unavailable it is not because they are blowing her off. I have tried to impart to her that you may have many acqaintances through life but very few life-long friends.

As for the RSVP. It is difficult enough to get an adult to do so, apparently the girls are following in the bad manners footsteps of their parents.

Any event, Happy 16th to your daughter. I have noticed that within the year between 16 and 17, my daughters good friend circle has increased by 2 and I am glad for that. I want her to have friends that she can count on.

Best regards.

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