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How to cope with life's difficult times....

Posted by believer (My Page) on
Mon, Nov 17, 08 at 14:56

Part of this is a parent issue, part of it is a human issue. Both situations are heart issues and giving me a real run for my money.

My first heartache is for a little boy that is dying of a cancerous brain tumor. He is the son of our former principal of the small, private school that my DS and SS attend. When you are involved in a small school you get to know the faculty and their families. With my DS having learning disabilities I was visiting with this principal quite often. He and and his family moved at the beginning of the year so that he could take a position in a different school. Since his 3 year old son has battled cancer at 10 months old and then again is currently the family has kept us all updated on the young child's progress. They have done all that is possible for him and now are just having to watch him make the journey from this life to the other. He can't walk, has a hard time eating and can barely crawl. My SD was in class with his sister so they all pray for him, Kaden, in class. The entire school is in touch with his situation and helping the family in many different ways.

I can only imagine what they must be going through and it breaks my heart. I don't think about it all of the time but when I do I have a very tearful time of it. They have said that they are trying to make as many memories with him as possible and do not expect him to make it until Christmas. My heart is just breaking for this mother and father and their 3 other children.

My other issue: DD20 comes home last night and is in quite a state. She and boyfriend of 2 1/2 years have broken up. I was not excited by this relationship when it began. He is 11 years her senior and although he has been pretty good to her and very nice to us I just didn't feel in my heart that he was "the one". I have had the most loving mother to daughter talks with my beloved DD, trying to pass on motherly wisdom without pushing her away form me or butting in too much. I have let her know my concerns but also that I do not know who God has chosen for her so I will not assume that I do.

This man comes from a past that would make even the hardest heart ache. His mother committed suicide when he was 7 and his father was a monster. When CJ was 8 his dad beat him so badly that his arm was broken. A farmer found him in his field, the next morning, where his father dumped him. He was in the foster care system until he was 16. He was on his own after that. He made some poor choices along the way but now is doing fine. He has no family.

I believe that DD daughter has made a choice that was deeply difficult for her because she truely loves him. She said that she knows that just because you love some one deeply doesn't mean that you are suppose to build a life with them. It is just not working.....many difficulties that I won't ad at this point. She came home from his place last night..about 1 am....I woke up when the phone rang...she was walking is just a few blocks from where we live. DS was up then too and when she got home the 3 of us sat and talked and cried and it was quite a Hallmark moment.

With the Holidays so close my heart breaks for this man, knowing all that he has been through and that he will be alone. Adding this to Kaden's situation is giving me a really difficult time.....I think I'll hop in the shower....take a walk later and try and shake this tearful state of mind that I am in. Sometimes it seems that I weep for the entire world. What does a person do.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: How to cope with life's difficult times....

Unfortunately you can not do much else than just weep. Those are both heartbreaking situations. My heart goes out to all involved.

RE: How to cope with life's difficult times....

It sounds like you are doing the best things that you can...pray, care and offer support, love deeply without demands, leave it all to God and cry.

That you are tuned in to the need for love around you and cry for the pain others feel even as you are caring for yourself means you are fully alive. (That warm bath is sometimes the very best thing to do.)

Continue to serve others as you do with your care, prayers and support, enjoy those 'hallmark' moments. They are really 'Godmarks'. We are sometimes most appreciative of our loved ones and the gift of being alive when they or we are hurting.

Bless you, Believer.

RE: How to cope with life's difficult times....

mom2emall and organic brice....thank you for responding. I am having a better day today. Getting enough sleep and planning projects around the house and yard are helping. I am having to hand it all over to God. I can't changed the world...I can pray for it though. My daughter is spending time with friends and has deleted former Bf's number from her cell. I am trying to attend to her creature comforts and making sure that she is still working on her house keeping issues (She is the daughter who is the slob that I posted about before) She is afraid that former BF is going to call me. I told her not to worry that I could handle it. I hope he doesn't though.

I appreciate your kind words organic. There are many hurting people in this world and doing some thing to help is such a meaningful thing to do. I am signed up to ring bells for the Salvation Army several times between now and Christmas and am donating some things as I clean out the house. I was volunteering at the local crisis pregnancy center and think that as soon as my pain is manageable I need to get back there.(chronic sciatica) Shopping for some baby clothes would be fun! Doing these things is good for me also.

Blessings to you both and thanks again....;o)

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