I received a request for money from a "cousin" that said he was in Houston and wanted me to send him money. I ignored it, and to this day, I don't know if it was real or not. LOL I had no contact with him from childhood, and only rarely then, until a few years ago after I made contact with his sister-in-law, the wife of his deceased twin. He mostly worked overseas, and he was obviously a heavy drinker and liked to call me to talk about family when he was three sheets to the wind. One day he called just to tell me he had found out I was Mormon (like that was a secret), and how he felt about that. Well, you can attack me on a lot of battlesfields, but if you're going to try that one you better bring a big gun and be armoured up. LOL He would call about once a month for a couple of years. The last conversation, he said he had cancer and asked me to prayer for him. (Who, me, a Mormon?) Of course I did. When the msg came, there was no explanation, nor anything to indicate that it was really him. My husband said, "Send it if you want to". I said, "Not in this lifetime". I still don't know. Was it him? Did he really need help? Did he die and some one got the info from an obit or on-line. It wasn't his normal way of contacting me and he wanted the money sent Western Union to an address I had never heard of. Although he lived in Texas, I don't think he lived in Houston at the time. Who can you believe? Maybe very few!!

SPAM

Still going through over 20 pgs of small-type print, but I wanted to drop in to clarify a couple of points really fast. 1) DD has no "problems" socially. She tells me often about how people react with disbelief at the fact that 1) she's really smart even though she wears mascara and straightens her hair (quiet laughter on my part here--such a HUGE change from last year!) and 2) she homeschooled up until last year, because she 'seems so normal' (makes her laugh every time). We learned through our years of homeschooling that stereotypes are powerful and can be powerfully misleading, and often say more about the person who's making the assumptions than they do about the person who's being stereotyped. She's made many people reconsider their stereotypes and pigeonholes. It's eerie how quickly and easily she slid into complete comfort at this mega-size school, but I give lots of credit not only to her but to the atmosphere the school creates - so far, people seem to fall over themselves to say sweet, supportive things to each other. She's got a wide circle of social friends and a good tight circle of close friends. She's got no fear at all, and is happy being id'd as a 'music nerd' since the music program at the school is big and high-profile. In fact, the one time some of the 'popular' girls tried to do a 'mean girls' thing to her in science class, she laughed at them and acted it right back at them (at least I did my homework preparing her by having her read all the 'Reviving Ophelia' and Queen Bee' -type books--thanks, Amy!!) so hilariously that they ended up inviting her to their table and have become good friends (I've seen it corroborated when I pick her up from things). Those aren't the kids she prefers to hang out with, but I mention it to show that she's got social skills that people may not associate with the stereotypical 'homeschooler'. Our world-learning wasn't stereotypical, either -- I hardly taught her anything, actually -- I was more like the concierge who found resources to facilitate her exploring her interests, and chauffeur to her various classes/activities. She's also comfortable being in advanced classes, has no problem with it, and she'll be doing AP classes next year and IB after that, and there are always options to take more advanced math at a local CC or state U. My only problem is that she's now letting the institution determine how curious she is about something--if she does enough to meet an assignment, she's done. No more investigating something for its own sake. It's *sad* to watch that really exciting drive in her life extinct itself (or more hopefully, go dormant). Which leads me to 2) A couple of years ago, I started volunteering solidly back in my field, and I'm gearing up to try to find paying work in it, albeit at a much lower level than before. I love what I do, I'm *thrilled* to be back in it, and I'm seriously not a stereotypical 'helicopter' mom. So not. Since she was about 10, I've actually tried not to be too involved, so she can have her own space in her activities. A somewhat extreme example: DD keeps asking me to be an orchestra-mum in the city orchestra she's in (you sit through all rehearsals and do volunteer work), but I just won't do it. The vast majority of those are stage-moms who make my skin crawl--the ones I think I talked about in another thread who seem to think that nonstop bragging is the highest form of conversation, and I don't want to be around them because they feel toxic to me. I want to relate to her orchestra in a positive way without all the drama. So I take her there and pick her up but don't prostrate myself before the altar of the conductor. We did arrange to have DH's company match our donation to this group, though -- the first time an employee had donated to the group at all, which is really strange, considering my DH's company's dominant position in the area. So we give in the way we feel most comfortable without hovering or pushing. I'll let moms who want to do that have the face time with the conductor. So I hope these further details maybe clarify some vaguenesses or misconceptions. I also hope you all know how unbelievably much your thoughts and support, and individual stories you've shared mean to me and my DH. He's reading the printout too and we'll have more specific thoughts later. The folks who come to this forum are gems, every one. And beyond that, the web is phenomenal, and not at all just a replacement for RL relationships; as you have pointed out, it offers opportunities and resources that RL just can't, sometimes. Anyway, I lerve you all : ) (oh, and the Greece thing -- I realize it may sound like she was sitting in a closet coming up with plans for the world, but it was actually for Model UN and is documented in her position papers as Greece's "Environmental Minister" (LOL) from last year. She actively participated in MUN with her resource center's team last year even though she was only an '8th grader', but this year at the huge/high school, MUN is overenrolled, so only Juniors and Seniors actually get to go to the event. There's an example of a very tangible difference in activities/involvements available to homeschoolers and to public schoolers...: ()

yes, the oldest has add... which I work with to upteenth degree. We actually already have the homework rule... ours is more like even if you dont have homework you have homework... you have to review what you did in school that day to make sure that you understand everything. Which, is why I find it so frustrating that he or rather they lie about having homework. It is not like they get out of doing work, they just end up in trouble for lieing and not doing their homework. It is ridiculous in a lot of ways ... why spend an hour reviewing everything from the day when you could have spent 15 minutes doing the assignment the teacher gave you. They are just playing every angle that they can and unfortunately it's working on a lot of fronts and I am exhausted. For example: the kids were at their moms house this weekend. The oldest had a report to do. I meet BM at 6 monday morning to take kids to school and oldest didnt do his report. I asked if BM knew and he said "well I asked her if I should finish at your house and she said I guess so" Ofcourse I am highly irritated because we had a very specific conversation on satureday about what he needed to do. And, ofcourse, I make him sit there and do his report. But, to top off the entire deal I show DH what he didnt do... he gets onto oldest ss about it makes a big deal. But then I have to go to school that same evening (report did not get finished before school which I made sure DH knew) and I dont get home until after 9 and he didnt do the first thing on the report and DH says that he didnt realize what he needed to do. So, I end up staying up with ss until late late to make sure the report got done. And then, the next morning DH gives the grounded boys doughnuts even though it is his own rule that when grounded you dont get treats. I don't know... I feel like they are doing it to test me sometimes. It's not like anyone else is holding them to right and wrong and doing what they are supposed to do. (well I suppose that is unfair DH does back me up but i feel like if I didn't say this is the problem it wouldnt be brought up) Really, I honestly feel like they are testing how far they can push and I will still stand strong... but then I feel like maybe they are starting to have an attitude of you arent my parent that has never really been an issue before because they weren't teenagers. i tried to disengage tonight and just let DH handle everything but that sooo didnt work... it is not in my nature. I tired to busy myself in my room organizing... I didnt ignore them, I helped them with homework and answered questions but my goal was to make sure that DH made sure they got their homework done and made sure they werent just wandering around doing nothing... but i couldnt help it... I couldnt just watch oldest ss playing with the girls knowing that he had a stack of homework on his bed... ugggghhh it pretty much boils down to I am frustrated!!