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Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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Posted by teaka123 (My Page) on Fri, Nov 3, 06 at 13:08
| My daughter has become friends with an exchange student, Maria, who attends high school with her. Maria has spent a fair amount of time at our home and we all like her very much. She has confinded in our daughter that she is very unhappy with her current host family. I know she is dreading the holidays. Another girl that was staying with the same family has transfered homes already and I have spoken with that host parent. From all accounts it is not that the students are homesick or unsafe, but that the host parents want to provide sleeping quarters, but nothing else. Maria's current host family do not have a high school student, they smoke, keep food to a bare minimum, and have a dog that growls and bares its teeth. The host dad is rather a hermit spending all all day and evenings on a computer - maybe work. Wednesday when I picked Maria up the host mom didn't say have a nice time she said ''Oh good I don't have to fix her dinner.'' When she arrived here in the states they stopped by the mall on the way home from the airport and basically left her there saying they wanted to shop for a bit and would meet up with her in two hours. She was left to her own devices - it was overwhelming to her. We are 95% there in our decision to ask to become her host family. A role I will take seriously (attending her gymnastic meets, knowing where she is, etc.). She can also have her own room. What I would like to hear from you is if you have hosted before and would you do it again and any advice you may have. Thank you
Signed: carol zema1@msn.com |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: Advice on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| I should not type and talk on the phone at the same time. Please forgive my spelling errors! |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| As a former exchange student, let me just say THANK YOU for considering taking this girl in. I wonder what her host family was thinking, and why they even bothered? If I recall, the host families don't get paid... I can't speak for what "everybody" would want, but it does seem like Maria wants more of a "family" than she has now, which certainly won't be hard. I was a very independent teen, so access to the metro station and city bus were great for me. Opportunities to travel - they needn't be fancy! - would be also great, since seeing the US is why she's here. Road trips, weekends, typical 'American Family stuff' is the best thing you can show her. Not to mention how great it will be to spend wholesome time with your own teen... |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| I'm a former exchange student as well as a host "sister". My family took in an exchange student midway through the year because she was unhappy with her situation at her first family's home. Is Maria in the country under a specific exchange organization? If so, her first step should be to talk to her contact at that organization and see what they can do for her and what the process is for changing families. One wonders how well the organization screened the host family to begin with, and why the host family decided to host a student given how they've acted so far. I agree that it sounds like the best thing for Maria would be to live with your family. Hosting a student can be the start of a lifelong friendship. It can be incredibly rewarding, but you only get out of it what you're willing to put in. Carol, you would probably have an excellent experience. |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| How long will Maria stay for ? You sound like you are keen to do it and that you would take good care of Maria. Find out who runs the program. Its a big thing for a person to go and live in another country for a while, where is she from ? I applaud you for taking a caring role for this girl. Popi |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| Post this on The Kitchen Table. There was some discussion about this earlier in the year. One lady didn't like her exchange student, but it looks like you would be in a totally different situation. |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| Thank you all for your responses. After reading your postings, speaking with the school counselor and a host parent that took on another exchange student who had been in the house we have decided to have her transferred to our home. After she is officially transferred to our home and care I plan on putting my concerns in writing to the program that placed her. A former exchange student who was temporarily in the home confirmed the host family's behavior and more. Even food is a concern with Cup of Noodles and Gatorade are available for breakfast, lunch and dinner. However, milk, fresh fruit and vegetables are rare. She is a lovely girl and I know my husband & I and her parents will all sleep better knowing she is happy, safe and wanted. Thank you, Carol |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| Carol Good news...I think you are doing the right thing allerting the original program that placed the girl..perhaps those people are only doing it for the money. My DD is on an exchange at the moment, so your post is close to my heart. Good on you for taking action. Popi |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| I'm the lady that adellabedella was talking about. *S* First I want to say that host families do NOT get paid for this. Perhaps the original host family felt pressured to take in a student. In my community there are many host students that do not have a home by the start of the school year and there is some pressure/guilt to take a student. My own experience was not so great. Our problem was just the personality of our student - she didn't make friends easily (in fact, most of the kids thought she was mean), she never really bonded with my husband or I although she did get along most of the time with our teen daughter. Not once did she thank us for a meal (at home or out), she never asked what my DH or I did for a living or showed any interest in us...basically never spoke to us unless she wanted to use the computer or the telephone. I would host again, but would be more careful in selecting a student. I don't regret hosting at all, my DH and I did a lot of "touristy" things we wouldn't have done otherwise, we attended band and choir concerts, went on a Christmas vacation...enjoyed a busy and interesting schedule. Just wished we had had a different student to share it all with. Since you've already met and enjoy this student I don't see a problem with you hosting her. Best of luck to you and enjoy the experience! |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| Hola! Thank you for all your responses. I thought I'd follow-up and let you know that Maria has been with us since the end of November. We are very pleased to have her here and it is working out wonderfully. She and my daughter are good friends and very much alike. My daughter's group of friends has welcomed her into the group. She has a brother my son's age and has enjoyed seeing all his college age guy and girl friends. The school has asked why so many students transfer out of the home and they will do some follow-up. I know that that family is already working on getting a student in January who will be here through the summer, but they are not planning on her going with them for summer vacation. Sigh. We know as parents we did the right thing by this student and will miss her when she leaves in June. |
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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| Another good source of information is the Host Parent Forum. It give you a chance to talk to peoplw who have been host parents. It's new so it may be a little slow starting. See www.hostparent.com |
Here is a link that might be useful: Foreign Exchange Student Host Parent Forum
RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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RE: Advise on Hosting an Exchange Student
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So, what? They want a free house sitter? They should be reported to the hosting organisation and not permitted to host any more unfortunate interchange students. I feel sorry for the kids.
Well done for rescuing Maria! |
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