Disengaging, disassociating, disgusted...
silversword
12 years ago
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popi_gw
12 years agosuzieque
12 years agoRelated Discussions
Seller making this purchase a nightmare
Comments (66)I typed up a lengthy reply, I must have not hit submit message. Long story short, no checks, had to threaten to send cops to her house to get mailbox key and STILL don't have key to pool/basketball court/etc. She wants to bring keys to me on Monday when she knows I'm moving in. My best translation: she wants to see how I'm decorating the house. I blew my cool over the mailbox key and at that time stated she was not to come to MY house at any time for any reason. I'm not saying anything about the other repairs, as far as I'm concerned this is done. I'll contact the HOA and tell them she refused to give me the pool key and get another and I'll pay for the other repairs if I have to....See MoreNeed help - marrige is falling apart becuse of SD
Comments (7)Chris, Your relationship with your SD is a reflection of your relationship with your wife. Your SD issues are secondary issues. Your primary issues are with your wife. When you say you love your wife, what specifically do you find so lovable about her? Is there something there that's got you hooked & or stuck? It would serve you well to discover what's keeping you hooked & or stuck in a marriage that's no good for you. What's so lovable about a wife who allows for her husband to be mistreated, manipulated, disrespected and USED? What's so lovable about a woman who does not take personal parental responsibility for raising her own child to play by the rules of civil society & instead enables & fosters her child's character deficiency? How lovable is that? Marriage is 100% give & 0% take. But your GIVING 200% & your wife is TAKING 200%! I regret to say you are in a BAD NEWS marriage. There's nothing but heartbreak for you in this marriage. Unless your a masochist then why would you stay? Do you feel like your dying inside of you or like your being murdered from inside of you? If that's how you feel, then you've been reeled in by a Grade A Narcissist. She may play the 'helpless' feminine but you can rest assured she knows exactly what she's doing. Your buttons are being pushed. Your being played by a Master! I feel for you because I've been there & now again 2nd marriage around I'm back there. It's not easy to get out of a Narcissist's clutches. Sociopaths murder Truth, Psychopaths murder People, Narcissists murder Souls. aka Antisocial Personality Disorders These are the three severest & most dangerous personality disorders known to medical science. There's no therapy, no medicine & no cure for it. There are four outcomes for those of us who are the Victims of those who have Antisocial Personalities: the Lunatic Asylum, Prison, the Morgue or the most well formed outcome - RUN & DON"T STOPPING RUNNING UNTIL THERE"S NO WAY WE CAN EVER BE NEAR THEM AGAIN!...See Morehelp with future step daughter
Comments (3)I'm in your shoes and the problem is coming from the both of them, but your partner is the one to blame here because he is her parent and the adult here. He is allowing this behavior and by showing her you don't matter he is giving her power over the relationship and to drive a wedge between you. Read my post (that is also long and received few replies as well) about husband feeling like he's being made to choose. I didn't go into detail about particular incidents of things she did, but she came to live with us 3 years ago and the alienation of my opinions started right away and gradually increased. Every time that he did nothing drove me further away and caused me to not respect him- in fact I'm disgusted with him. Now she rules the house, says and does whatever she wants. Heaven forbid she doesn't get her way because she will bully her Dad until he gives in. I didn't fully disengage until she lied about me to get her way and in a separate incident two months later she embellished a story heavily to gain attention for herself and to make me look bad. She trash talks me (like she did her mother before moving here) with lies and half truths. Luckily for you, you only have to deal with her during visitation. Don't ever agree to her moving in full time or you will regret it. You need to talk with your partner and tell him how you feel. Hopefully he will work on it. You and he should be the team. Not the kids. My husband always cried about being in the middle (but he consistently put himself there) and I recently told him that if we had been the team we should have been there wouldn't have been a middle! He needs to quit playing into her games. It's too bad that some girls have to act that way and sadly, they usually learn it from their mothers. This post was edited by tjlo on Fri, Jun 28, 13 at 7:08...See MoreTrying hard to feel 'Merry'
Comments (32)SamKaren I find this so true and have learned from it. Dolly danielle barone BellaOnline's Family Health Editor Dealing with toxic people Toxic people. If you are experiencing this in your life, let me share with you what I have learned. I think I can help you to feel better. * Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries. * Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so. * The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience. * Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing. Rely on your instincts, they never lie. Train yourself to move away from what hurts you and move towards what feels good. This is one of the smartest life skills you can learn, and also one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself. * Toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, narcissitic, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible, selfish, and abusive. They can be criminally minded, mentally ill, or just plain evil. Toxic people are also the ones that abuse alcohol or drugs and then hurt other people. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time. They cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are not hard to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, but don't worry that is the true mark of being with a toxic person. Remember this so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person. That is the first step towards eliminating one from your life. * Know that when a person is toxic it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues can consist of mental illness. Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you. In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do not. Realize this and you take back your power. * The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do that by being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach. Detachment is a process of not caring. It is something you do for yourself. It is a mental skill that takes some time to learn at first, but once it is mastered, it can help you to become stronger mentally and physically. Detachment is a necessary skill for preserving your own mental health. Detaching from people and situations that are not good for you is healthy and can help you to feel better. Begin detachment by repeating affirmations. Affirmations are powerful because over time, the mind believes what we program into it. The following are some good examples to help you, but feel free to make your own that speak to you personally. I do not care about ***. I will not allow *** to hurt me. Detaching from*** will help me to be healthy on many levels. I control my own life and decisions. I am strong. I feel good about the decision to detach. Detachment is healthy and necessary. * When dealing with toxic people remember that exercise is your best friend. Exercise relives both mental and physical tensions. It helps the body to produce healing chemicals that will repair your body and help you think more clearly. Exercise also encourages the release of endorphins, chemicals that relieve pain and help you to feel good both mentally and physically. * Most importantly develop supportive relationships with your life partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. There is strength in numbers. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you, can help you to overcome the negativity of toxic people. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you. Loved ones are a good defense against toxic people because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life....See Moresilversword
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