Kids only wedding reception dilema
stronglily
16 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (50)
plasticgarden
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agolabmomma
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
My Tomato Harvest Stars in My Wedding Reception
Comments (31)> I'm trying to tell my girls that I need emerald green, the color of pastures and fields. They think I should be "pastel". Pah. What do kids know? That pastel thing does seem to be something we go through and grow out of. I guess it takes a real woman with a certain experience like thee and me to handle strong colours! Do you know, a jewel-like green was what I had originally in mind when I went fabric shopping before I fell for that red.... >> I love the way you did just what you wanted and made your wedding your own. There's aplace for tradition, I suppose, but we should all make our own traditions as we feel comfortable doing. Indeed. And we did follow many traditions. But for us it was important to think about the origins of them --- why they got to be traditions and whose traditions they are. In many cases some things that people think of are long and important "traditions" turn out actually to be pretty recent, at least in the context of how long folks have been getting married! (The white dress thing was started by Queen Victoria, for example. And the couple processing *together* as we did turns out to in fact to be a very old tradition; in fact, even the current official Catholic ritual (don't know about any other denominations) gives several options, NONE of which calls for the groom waiting at the altar while the bride's father "gives" her away. But I LOVED exchanging rings --- the symbolism of eternity in the circle is lovely. And we had a unity candle, a lovely newer Catholic tradition. We wanted a toast (who couldn't use all the good wishes anyone can offer them?) but R. doesn't like champagne that much and a good one was beyond our budget, so we toasted with the local apple cider, available in both alcoholic and non-alcoholic versions. And so on. >> Elery thinks we should write our own vows. I wonder if "you're only second in my heart to my horse" is appropriate. (grin) After all, he IS working on that number one spot..... Hee, hee. Well, I think it is very good to keep him working on it! After all, he who is #2 tries harder. ;-) Vows are one place where we surprised ourselves. I am a professional writer and editor, and assumed that of COURSE we would write our own vows. But as we looked at the standard Catholic version, we found that it said pretty much everything we wanted to say. So we did end up going with "tradition" there, though I have heard some very lovely and meaningful own-written vows, too. We did draft a few words for when we exchanged rings, for which DH's first suggestion was [deep, menacing voice] "I have you now, bwah hah hah hah." I think he was a bit startled when I called his bluff and started to write that down.... ;-) I know you will do things just right for YOU, when the time is right. (Wondering if you can involve the backhoe somehow....?) ;-) Zabby...See MoreNeed help with DIY wedding reception
Comments (44)Italian Beef Sandwiches. Very juicy, (read sloppy!) but so easy and delish. It's cheap, too, if you buy chuck roasts on sale. You braise the beef with garlic and onions, bay leaves, salt and pepper for several hours until the meat shreds, serve it hot with all its juices on Italian rolls or other hearty rolls. I'll be more precise with the recipe if you'd like, but that's about it. I guarantee a hit!...See MoreDestination wedding...reception after we return
Comments (21)luvmytbear, are you reading the posts people are putting up here for you? If I understand correctly, the Disney World trip was already planned before you decided on a Barbados wedding. Even if it wasn't, it is harder than you think to reschedule, especially for a large group, and more important, I think mammavan makes an excellent point about the perspective of the others. Read it carefully and try to see their point of view. Look how many posters made the observation that (without special circumstances) a destination wedding says "we value a fancy setting more than we value your presence." You can have a destination wedding. For that matter, you can refuse to send thank you notes. You can cut your sister out of your wedding party. You can put "cash please" on the invitations. You can invite the cousin you like but not his brother. You can have a reception with music that everyone but you and your pals hates. You can do whatever you want! It's Your Special Day!!!!! But you can't insist that everyone feel the way you want them to feel about it. Your new family feels excluded -- well, they are. Trying to explain to them that they should prefer to spend their money and vacation time on YOUR idea of a vacation, not theirs, is not going to work. As Talley Sue wisely points out, your family probably feels pretty much the same way about this plan; they are just being better sports and more polite about it. Consider that their disappointment means that it is important to THEM to share your wedding with you -- I doubt you would want them to feel relieved, not disappointed, that they can't come. Your original question was: "Is it wrong to just go with our plans? Or should we try to do something local so that his family won't alienate him? I feel so torn!" Well, although it would solve some problems to have the wedding locally and save Barbados for the honeymoon, it definitely isn't "wrong" to go ahead with your Barbados plans. What would be wrong would be to refuse to accept that some people will feel hurt, to insist that they see it your way, to dismiss their plans for a family Disney World trip, and to blame THEM for making YOU feel guilty. If you feel guilty, maybe it's because you really aren't as comfortable with your choice as you wish you were. I'm sorry this sounds so harsh. Having a destination wedding is not a crime. It's disappointing, but not unforgivable! Your future relationship is what's important, not the wedding. You won't ruin it by going to Barbados, but you might by trying to tell everyone else that their feelings are unimportant and that they are cheap and hypocritical. Just do it and let them get over it. Oh -- and if anyone in the famiy someday has a destination wedding, I don't care if it's on MARS -- GO! :-)...See MoreOnly one not invited to wedding
Comments (10)There is a woman in our community who has been complaining and badmouthing us for not inviting her to our daughter's recent wedding. It wasn't a small wedding, but it wasn't huge, either, and it was mostly out of town family. As our son-in-law's family live overseas, none of their family friends could come, so our daughter asked us to keep our list as small as possible. There were maybe 20 local couples. But that meant that there were several more that we really would have liked to include, people who were right on that "rather awkward not to invite but I guess they will just have to understand" line. Like I think you are in your situation, Karen. But all of those others have been totally lovely about it. They congratulate us and say that they hear it was beautiful and fun, without any implication that they should've been included. In the very few instances where it would've been more awkward than not to avoid saying something like, "We really wish we could've invited more of our friends, but Daughter asked us not to as her in-laws' friends couldn't come" -- they don't even usually let us finish before assuring us, "Of course! Don't worry at all. Everyone has the same problem, so everyone understands." Anyone who has ever had to make a guest list really does understand that there are always going to be some you would love to invite, but you just can't. Except for this one immature woman. She has been giving me the cold shoulder publicly and even made a point of calling our best friends and complaining about it to them. Best Friend said, "They really had very few local guests," and Immature replied, "Bull! What about the Smiths?" BF, who was really getting angry about this, resisted the temptation to point out the the Smiths were not only among our closest friends, they had hosted a shower for Daughter in their home, and instead just said, "I didn't realize you were that close with the Gellchoms." We like Immature and her husband just fine, but we aren't especially close with them and Daughter certainly isn't. Other than 4 couples that Daughter specifically requested because she loves them, the only locals included were the officiants and people who hosted parties, housed out of town guests, made hospitality bags, baked, decorated, or helped in some other way. But although we like the Immatures enough that they were in that would-love-to-invite group, they neither offered to help nor are close with Daughter, so that was that. (They were invited to, and did attend, Son's wedding 3 years ago; you'd think that would tell them something!) The point here is that even though Immature thinks that EVERYONE but her was both invited and similarly situated to her, she's wrong. The criteria for the guest list seems as obvious to her as this one does to you, but you really don't know. I mean, it was the daughter's wedding, not hers; that bride, too, may well have said "Only the neighbors I have a relationship with" or something. And the even more important point is that even if she were correct, she is making a real fool of herself over it. You are entitled to your feelings, and you may in fact have been slighted -- how would I know? But I am confident that I am giving you good advice when I tell you to be a lady about it and not complain or criticize to anyone, because right or wrong, you will be the one who looks petty and childish....See Moretegwyn
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoninos
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agocarla35
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyborgal
16 years agofreezetag
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agocarla35
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agolabmomma
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agocarla35
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agogellchom
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agocentralcacyclist
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agopopi_gw
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agotrekaren
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agolindac
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agogellchom
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoplasticgarden
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoeandhl
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agolindac
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agosc_gardener
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoplasticgarden
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyborgal
16 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoyborgal
16 years agopopi_gw
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoJonesy
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoworkoutlady
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agodirtdiva
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agogellchom
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoacey
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agolivvysmom
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agostronglily
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoninos
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agosc_gardener
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoamyfiddler
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agosweeby
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agodally099
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agosweeby
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agokkny
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoimamommy
16 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Related Stories
WEDDINGSHow One Couple Got a Perfectly Intimate Backyard Wedding
Vintage pieces, natural materials and close family and friends are an ideal combination for a Pittsburgh couple
Full StoryWEDDINGSHouzz Call: Show Us Your Backyard Wedding!
Did you say ‘I do’ at home? We want to hear and see everything about it. Share your photos and you could be featured in an upcoming ideabook
Full StoryMY HOUZZMy Houzz: Farmhouse Style in a Virginia Bed-and-Breakfast
A country home includes gorgeous grounds, whimsical spaces, a barn as a wedding venue and chandeliers throughout
Full StoryLIFEStop the Toy Takeover by Changing the Way You Think
Make over your approach and get gift givers onboard with your decluttering efforts by providing meaningful toy alternatives
Full StoryGARDENING AND LANDSCAPING9 Ways to Make Your Yard More Fun for Kids
Draw the younger set outside while keeping grown-up spaces and style intact. Some of these ideas don’t even cost a dime!
Full StoryGARDENING GUIDESHow to Get Your Prairie On
Have a field day with your landscape, even if you've got just a few modern containers on a paved path
Full StoryHOUZZ TOURSHouzz Tour: From Olden Church to Soaring Modern Marvel
Pray join us on this trip through an incredible home in Melbourne that's a real sanctuary
Full StoryHOUZZ TOURSMy Houzz: A Modern-Day Homestead Brings a Family Together
Their 5-acre Washington property, with sports court, swings, pizza oven and gardens, is a labor of love and communal playspace
Full StoryREMODELING GUIDES8 Lessons on Renovating a House from Someone Who's Living It
So you think DIY remodeling is going to be fun? Here is one homeowner's list of what you may be getting yourself into
Full StoryKITCHEN CABINETSCabinets 101: How to Choose Construction, Materials and Style
Do you want custom, semicustom or stock cabinets? Frameless or framed construction? We review the options
Full StorySponsored
azzalea