Kids only wedding reception dilema
stronglily
16 years ago
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plasticgarden
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agolabmomma
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Daughter's Wedding Reception- please help me!
Comments (13)Please don't take this the wrong way, but here is another very strong vote for having a caterer do this for you, even if it means much less expensive refreshments. It sounds like you don't have a whole lot of cooking experience (you wrote, "I don't know how to prepare anything"). With all respect, a wedding reception for 120 is NOT the time to learn -- even if it weren't your own daughter's wedding. This would be a daunting job even for those with lots of cooking and entertaining experience. I think even -- perhaps especially -- the most experienced would be inclined to get a caterer for a group this large, especially as mother of the bride. You will have so many other things you'll have to attend to, and even more than that that you don't want to miss. Do you really want to be refreshing the buffet when your daughter and son-in-law are having their first dance? If I were in your position, I would call a few caterers, tell them your budget -- and tell them it's FIRM -- and ask what they can do for that money. You may be very pleasantly surprised. If it's still out of range, consider ordering platters from a food store or inexpensive restaurant, and perhaps hiring a few servers/cleaners. You can supplement the latter and probably even the caterer option with some dishes you or friends and relatives make ahead and have the caterer serve along with his/her food. Your peace of mind, not having to worry about this in the months leading up to the wedding, is really important, too, along with being able to enjoy your guests on the big day. To me, that is worth some money. So if I were in your position, I'd cut way back on everything else if necessary: liquor (certainly a fountain is unnecessary), decorations, types of food, prom-y stuff like limos and favors, and even fancy wedding clothes if necessary. Being able to be a relaxed hostess who can enjoy her guests is more important, in my opinion, than fancy arrangements. Everyone is different, but that's just my experience. Congratulations to you all!...See MoreStepdaughters Wedding Reception
Comments (12)Whew! It's over! Husband called today and said all went well. His daughter had asked him before the reception about having pictures taken with her and her mother and he told her he would rather not do that since they weren't married any more. She understood. When he arrived at the reception his ex-wife came up to him and offered her hand and said "Thanks for coming". He said he almost laughed because it sounded like it was her party. But I told him that was a nice gesture and really set the tone so that people wouldn't have to hold their breath anticipating fireworks. My last words to him before he caught his plane were to take the high road in any situation and to NOT follow their Jerry Springer drama. Pictures were fine. Mom with daughter/s. Dad with daughter/s. Mom and Dad with daughter/s and extended family such as grandmother, aunts/uncles. The aunt that had been stirring things up before the reception was pushing for a picture of Mom/Dad/Daughters until the bride's twin sister told her to "back off". She later told her Dad that she was sure the aunt would be made at her for that. My husband was very surprised. He saw friends that he hadn't seen in the 17 years since the separation. It was a nice time for him and he's glad it's over too. Thanks to everyone here who helped me think this through and offered support and advice. You're a great group and I'm glad you are here. Maybe something in this thread will help someone else googling "stepchild wedding" which is how I found you. Best to all!!...See MoreWe invited people to the 'wedding party' and not the wedding.
Comments (5)One of my daughter's friends had done exactly something similar to what you are planning. Her wedding ceremony was on a dinner boat cruise on a river and included only the wedding party and immediate family (and spouses/significant others of the bridal party) during late morning through mid afternoon. Maybe 40 people max total. She wore a formal wedding gown and veil, but she and her sister (bridesmaid) wore jeweled flip flops for shoes! The groom and father of the bride were also attired in formal tuxedoes. But after that, everyone cut loose! Her reception was an outdoor, beach themed reception which included inviting a lot of other friends and extened family. I think there were about 100 people at that reception. Everyone changed into casual clothes - shorts, Hawaiian shirts, etc. and they had leis as favors. They had a casual BBQ dinner. I personally was invited to both events, and I recall that her inviation was in two parts. The main invitation stated something to the effect that "You are cordially invited to a reception following a private ceremony of the marriage between....blah, blah. Then, for the people who were invited to the private ceremony, there was a separate small card enclosed with the details of the ceremony on the boat. It was a a unique and fun wedding and reception!...See MoreOnly one not invited to wedding
Comments (10)There is a woman in our community who has been complaining and badmouthing us for not inviting her to our daughter's recent wedding. It wasn't a small wedding, but it wasn't huge, either, and it was mostly out of town family. As our son-in-law's family live overseas, none of their family friends could come, so our daughter asked us to keep our list as small as possible. There were maybe 20 local couples. But that meant that there were several more that we really would have liked to include, people who were right on that "rather awkward not to invite but I guess they will just have to understand" line. Like I think you are in your situation, Karen. But all of those others have been totally lovely about it. They congratulate us and say that they hear it was beautiful and fun, without any implication that they should've been included. In the very few instances where it would've been more awkward than not to avoid saying something like, "We really wish we could've invited more of our friends, but Daughter asked us not to as her in-laws' friends couldn't come" -- they don't even usually let us finish before assuring us, "Of course! Don't worry at all. Everyone has the same problem, so everyone understands." Anyone who has ever had to make a guest list really does understand that there are always going to be some you would love to invite, but you just can't. Except for this one immature woman. She has been giving me the cold shoulder publicly and even made a point of calling our best friends and complaining about it to them. Best Friend said, "They really had very few local guests," and Immature replied, "Bull! What about the Smiths?" BF, who was really getting angry about this, resisted the temptation to point out the the Smiths were not only among our closest friends, they had hosted a shower for Daughter in their home, and instead just said, "I didn't realize you were that close with the Gellchoms." We like Immature and her husband just fine, but we aren't especially close with them and Daughter certainly isn't. Other than 4 couples that Daughter specifically requested because she loves them, the only locals included were the officiants and people who hosted parties, housed out of town guests, made hospitality bags, baked, decorated, or helped in some other way. But although we like the Immatures enough that they were in that would-love-to-invite group, they neither offered to help nor are close with Daughter, so that was that. (They were invited to, and did attend, Son's wedding 3 years ago; you'd think that would tell them something!) The point here is that even though Immature thinks that EVERYONE but her was both invited and similarly situated to her, she's wrong. The criteria for the guest list seems as obvious to her as this one does to you, but you really don't know. I mean, it was the daughter's wedding, not hers; that bride, too, may well have said "Only the neighbors I have a relationship with" or something. And the even more important point is that even if she were correct, she is making a real fool of herself over it. You are entitled to your feelings, and you may in fact have been slighted -- how would I know? But I am confident that I am giving you good advice when I tell you to be a lady about it and not complain or criticize to anyone, because right or wrong, you will be the one who looks petty and childish....See Moretegwyn
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