Some flowers you like, some you don't. I imagine for some parents if it were ok to say they didn't like their child, they would say so. I certainly see some unlikeable children. Unlikeable adults also, for that matter.

We have been taught to love our kids no matter what and I think most parents try. It is very difficult at times. During those difficult times I think talking with a parent who is going through what you are, will remind you, it's not you, it's your child.

Rasing kids is much like being married. Both are very, very difficult at times.

Ginny

I remember worrying aloud to the male principal about my middle one. He assured me, "He will turn out just fine. He knows he is loved." And he was right.

And do let me clarify one point--though we love our kids, we disciplined them too so that they would develop good character and self discipline.

Keep at it. It does pay off. And be your kids' best example of a truly good person who knows how to enjoy life and how to work hard too.

Our 3 kids have been good kids, average to good grades, who helped us immensely on our midwestern farm. The older two were more studious in school than our youngest who is far more social. I think I see the social trend reversing as the older two get out on their own--they've developed some very close-as-family type friends. It was harder raising our daughter since she was young for her class and there are such social issues and hormones and sometimes girls can just be nasty to each other.

Our oldest is 23, out of college, has an excellent career job and recently purchased a condo in Seattle. Middle daughter will start her senior year of college and plans to go on to law school. Youngest is still in highschool.

I used to be a constant worrier about how they'd ever make it, but they've learned some valuable lessons from the experiences they had growing up and the mistakes they've made along the way. Sometimes it's the mistakes the kids make that upset the parents the most but those same mistakes turn out to be the most valuable & beneficial learning experience to the children. So take a deep breath, say and prayer and enjoy the journey.

They are 13 and almost 15 and have very different temperments. I like them both. My son, the oldest, is sweet natured, kind, and very smart, but not very driven, so I have to light a fire under him from time to time. My daughter is focused on success in everything she does but sometimes lacks empathy, so I work on reminding her to think of others.

I encourage them both to do as much for themselves as they are able to do (as opposed to being the enslaved mom).

They aren't setting the world on fire, but they aren't burning it down, either!

I'm going to be a grandmother in 2 months - I can't wait, and I can't believe it. To see another generation in our family - I'm awestruck.

Responsible? Yes
Self supporting? Yes for the 3 older "kids".
Happy? 3 of the 4 are.
Personable? YES!
Law-abiding? Pretty much so. (minor run-ins with the law, no felonies. *S*)
Generous? Yes
Kind? Yes
Can they think for themselves? Yes
Are they supplying me with adorable grandchildren? 2 of the 4 are.

I've probably missed listing some important characteristics, but all in all, they've turned out as I'd hoped they would.

Even though it was some time ago, thanks for asking the question, BniceBkind, it made me stop and realize how lucky we've been.

I want a growth chart for the emotional/personality stuff. We have check ups with docs and dentists, eye exams, even before we think something is wrong. Even teachers conferences and standardized tests to tell us they are learning the academics they should be learning, or if intervention is needed.

So I think it would be very helpful to have check ups with a counselor of some sort. Not therapy exactly, just a set of questions, a test of sorts, to say yep, they are on the right track. To know that self confidence, responsibility, ambition, compassion... those sorts of qualities... are developing normally. It is so important to how kids turn out, but how do I know for sure it's happening along the way at the rate it should be??

I want that sort of check up. I'd rather their personality be straighened out that their teeth. But it's easier to find out their teeth are crooked. It's hard to be objective about the emotional stuff, so I need a chart.

I'm only half joking. If there is a chart, I seriously want it!

I am enjoying your posts! I also wonder if parents whose children...I am possibly referring to parents of girls) know when their daughters are the girls at school that are so mean to other girls. Do you think they have a clue?

I have found that the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. The "mean" girls often have mother's with similar dispositions.

Barnmom, I hope that is true! If my fruit falls close to my tree, my kids might be slobs, but they'll be nice people. I want them to be open-minded, to put their responsibilities a little ahead of their rights, to like themselves.

Sometimes I have a "parenting moment" when I come out of it thinking "I'm good! That went SO well!" and really feel like I did the right thing, even if I've got a mad kid for a while. But often I feel like I'm rolling the dice, hoping for the best, and just have to wait and see if it's really working.

Each of my children (19, 21 and 25) has personality traits that to this day I really do not like. Smoking, "better than you", secretitiveness, etc. But I cannot control them, so I have to accept and go on.

Vickey-MN