Please help me!

9 years ago

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years. He has a son and he's 4 years and I have a daughter and she's 5 years old. Throughout the relationship we have had many ups and downs which have most likely cause me to become bitter. In the beginning of our relationship it would feel like because of his son he would make his ex a priority. At some point of our relationship we even agreed to him getting back together with her for some closure and to show his son that he tried with his mother. This only lasted about two weeks but I believe this is what caused my bitterness. After that he has done many things to show me that Im probably not that significant since Im just his girlfriend. I know I am not perfect as I have made mistakes as well but never in regards to my ex who is the father of my daughter. I used love to be around his son. Lately I havent been very happy around him. His son is misbehaved. He speaks to me in a bad way and doesnt really show me respect. My boyfriend occasionally corrects him but not all the time. I am also pretty mad about the fact that when i buy something for my daughter I try to also give to his son. My daughter doesnt get the same treatment from him. He doesnt treat her bad but everything is always and only for his son. I feel neglected and it makes me jealous of his relationship with his son. I am annoyed at the fact that I even feel this way. Im not sure if this means that maybe its time to part ways. Please help!

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Comments (7)

jewelisfabulous
9 years ago
Your boyfriend doesn't prioritize you in his life, he treats you like you're not significant, he allows his son to disrespect you, he doesn't treat your daughter the same way you treat his son, you feel neglected.

So.......WHY haven't you left him yet?

Life is far too short to be treated this badly. There's no reason for you to be miserable -- move on.
sylviatexas1
9 years ago
I'm so sorry.

This guy isn't treating you right, hasn't *been* treating you right, hasn't been straight with you...
& he's told some whoppers to keep you in place 'just in case'.

You agreed for him to get back with the ex for "closure"??

He was manipulating both of you, keeping both of you on the hook, not treating either one of you the way a decent person should treat anybody.

& that little boy is learning from somewhere that you aren't worth respect.

Please throw this one back & go have some fun.

I wish you the best.
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jewelisfabulous
9 years ago
If you're feeling conflicted or are trying to justify his actions or have decided to give him more time, here's another perspective for your consideration:

Your daughter is watching you. By your actions, you are teaching her about relationships.

Do you hope, dream, and pray that she'll one day have a boyfriend/husband who treats her like your boyfriend treats you? Of course not.

Show her, teach her, lead by example in your life so that she grows up valuing herself and expecting nothing less than a partner that values her also.
western_pa_luann
9 years ago
" Im not sure if this means that maybe its time to part ways. "

Seriously?
Doing that looks like a SURE thing to me!
nancylouise5me
9 years ago
I would have been long gone the instant the jerk decided to get back with his ex! You didn't really go along with that idea did you!?? Come on, you answered you own question in your post...but I will state the obvious for you. Yes, it is time to move on. He is definitely not the one for you. For all the reasons you mentioned in your post. You may also want to NOT date for a while. Concentrate on your daughter and you. NancyLouise
popi_gw
9 years ago
There is a clear message that he is not good enough for you.

Your priority is your daughter.
Karen10125
9 years ago
If he went back with his ex for any amount of time while he was already with you, he's definitely not a keeper. I'm sorry he did that, it must have hurt you tremendously. For your daughter's sake, and for yours, move on.

That said, in the future understand that any relationship you become involved in where there are children, is not going to be easy. Everything is not going to be fair all the time. It might sound silly but before you even contemplate a serious relationship with a man who has children (or doesn't), sit down and set ground rules for EVERYTHING. My children and my stepchildren were late teens when my husband and I started our relationship and per the advice of someone who had already been through this, and successfully, we had agreements and compromises on everything. Example: weddings, cars, loans, Christmas presents,etc. So when daughters starting getting married, we had agreed on a set amount to spend for all of them; that doesn't mean they're always thrilled with what we decide but we can always say later "this is what we decided" so they understand that we're on the same page. He wasn't going to buy one of his kids a car while mine were working to pay for one, or vice versa. I'm not saying everything has to be equal all the time, because it's not, but there has to be some mutual understanding. This is very important and will prevent many arguments and hard feelings later on. We have friends who didn't plan ahead or make any rules beforehand and at times their lives are a living hell because of it.

Please help me!

Comments (7)

jewelisfabulous

sylviatexas1

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