Luth, I think it's that we, as parents, are more educated now and that our society is more open to Learning Disabilities. When I was growing up, you never heard of Ritalin, Adderal or any of the other meds out there. (I've talked to my own mom about this & my siblings and I were all probably ADD/ADHD.) Actually my nephew is ADD & his psychiatrist told my sis that she was ADHD, just by watching her behavior! I remember my sister having problems concentrating during school (K or 1st grade) because it was boring to her (she later skipped a grade). When our little bro's IQ was tested, it was just a few points from genius. But he's killed all his brain cells now with illegal drug use. Maybe if the resources available now had been available 30 years ago, things would have been different for him. (He did & still does fit into almost every category for ADHD.) I'm the parent of two tween girls. My oldest was diagnosed as being ADHD when she was 4 months into Kindergarten. She had severe behavior problems at school (climbing on the tables, under the tables, talking over the teacher, much more). After she began treatment for ADHD, there was an apparent difference. We (her doctor, her teacher & I) had a very good relationship though it all. She had dealt beautifully with her ADHD for several years & then WAM! Puberty! Actually her teachers last year didn't even know that she was ADHD until I mentioned it. (She's not currently on a 504 plan.) She's always had an extremely large vocabulary. By the time she was in 2nd grade she was reading on at least 5th grade level. She's now in 7th grade & is reading on 11-12 grade level. She's always been exposed to as much as I can expose her to. She's been taking music for the past 4-5 years. (She started on piano, but also taking clarinet & is 2nd chair on her Junior High band.) They both have picked up some foreign language too. (I took German a few years ago & they practiced with me. I've also had to purchase French tapes for them.) Now, my little one (age 10) is quietier than her big sis, but she's also got a HUGE vocabulary. Her school tests reading comp every 6 weeks & hers was 1026 on the Lexile table this past week. She's been reading above 9th grade for the past 2 years. Her teachers last year told me that she would have been in the Gifted/Talented program except that she's TOO quiet! She's taken violin since she was 5 & decided this summer that she wanted to learn flute too. Good luck with your soon-to-be little one.

Plastic .....welcome back :) Did/does your sister see what she was/is doing is wrong or does she believe her own lies and Bull? In what world is it ok to make yourself feel better by stepping on others. I am having a very hard time with this. Tired of being berated by children who are repeating their mother. Hubby said today we were much happier when she only took them one day a week ... I said yes because it was only one day a week she could poison their minds. Now its constant. Ok so as long as you cheated on your spouse you can infect your children with poison about the spouse? Came to a decision today .... attitude walks in the door I will say " I do not want to hear what your mother says about me to you and I do not want you to repeat it to me ... You have no right to hurt my feelings. Because I am tired of being hurt and angry because of stuff your mother says to you." Conversation last night .... mommy said if you didn't marry daddy we could all live together again .... we have been married for 2 years. Court today.... continued new court date again..... Judge "warned" not to discuss anything related to the proceedings with the children. "it would not be in her best interest". late and rambling will add more tomorrow.

I'm a stepmom of 2 kids... an 11-year old boy and a 14-year old girl... who live with my husband and I about 80% of the time. I have to say that I'm blessed - they are kind, loving and very respectful kids who have always treated me well. Even given that, I have to admit that I STILL find being a stepmom very challenging. I think like most stepmoms, I came into this situation with the desire to create a happy, harmonious environment for me and the man I married and his children. I still do. I care about these kids, and I want them to be happy and set up to have a successful life, emotionally and in every other way. But over time... again, even though my stepkids are such good kids... I have STILL found myself surprised at the amount of resentment (and sometimes even anger) that has built up in me. It's the result of a few factors I think. A big one for me is that I resent the fact that their own mother doesn't do more. I shared with my husband a few months back that he and his ex need to split the driving duties and other parenting responsibilities 50/50, while I only help out occasionally, versus me doing 70% of all of the pickups and drop offs for school and other activities. (Just because I work from home and have a flexible work schedule doesn't mean that I'm an on-call chauffeur for the kids.) Another big one is that my husband is happy to have his kids around all the time (of course, he's their dad!) while I really need time away from them where it's just the two of us. No matter how nicely I may share with my lovely husband that I need more time with him (i.e. on the third week in a row that their mom wants us to take them during the weekend when she is supposed to have them) on some level he'll always hear it like I am rejecting his children. This has caused major friction in our marriage. His children, their mom's lack of care for them and him making me feel like I need to fill the gap (or I'm not being supportive) is really the only thing we fight about. Before you call me evil, let me explain: So much of being a stepmom is holding your tongue. I really care about the emotional well being of my stepkids, and I don't ever want to say or do anything that may cause them pain or make them feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in my home. I'm not a jerk or anything, I'm a pretty kind person I think. But the amount of stuff that you may want to say out loud that you don't... about the kids, their mom, whatever... it's a lot. On some level, I feel like I'm always monitoring what I do and say. It's tiring. I have to admit that it's nice when they go to their moms, so that I can "turn off" so to speak and just BE in my own home. So I look forward to that time. It also gives me a chance to miss them and appreciate them even more when they come back! I see so many comments attacking stepmoms, and I'm sure there are some majorly s***ty ones out there, but there's also a lot of well-meaning ladies that really do care for the kids in their care. But guys, I'd just ask you to remember that these ARE NOT our kids. Everything we do for them, we do out of love for you. And it can be very draining. A mom gets fed by the unconditional love that flows effortlessly between her and her biological child. A stepmom does not. She gives a lot and really doesn't get a lot back. Overtime, you can start to feel like the hired help, a guest in your own home, and the lowest person on the totem pole. My advice for the original poster? If you're not willing to change the kids' schedule, then offer an alternative that she can work with - hiring a nanny. Seriously. I don't say that to be an a-hole, but really, it sounds like your wife is stuck in what's called a "double bind." She wants to support you by helping you with your kids (she LOVES you, after all) but at the same time, she really doesn't want to be doing most of what she is doing... but by not doing it, she feels she would be letting you down. It's a lose lose. Add on top of that the pain of losing the baby, and she is growing to resent the lot of you. Take the burden off of her. Look into hiring a nanny to carry most of the load. Yes, it will cost you some money, but hiring a nanny is much less expensive than paying for a divorce. Also consider setting a date night for just the two of you once per week that you don't break (and when you do go out, don't talk about your kids!). Much love to you and your situation x

Oh gosh. When I read the title of this post I was wondering what comments were going to be made.....I didn't move out until I was 26! I started work right after high school graduation, worked a year there, then got a better paying job, bought a house when I moved out at 26, and retired after 30yrs. You know I'm always hesitant to let people in on the fact I left home so late. I think the suggestion to SAVE money should be right up there at the top. I didn't make much money at either job and the last one not for years, but I wished I'd put a little away. It would have helped so much. You get tired of eating lima beans and rice every night.