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missstella_gw

How to deal with son's friends (10 year old)

missstella
15 years ago

My son has two friends who obviously don't value their friendship as much as my son does. Lately, there has been a lot of hurt feelings on my sons part because he has had great relationships with both of these boys for the past 5+ years and this year the two have teamed up against him and seemed to constantly tease or exclude him at school, at parties, etc.

I recognize that my son is probably more sensitive than he needs to be and he does let himself be annoyed by things that are just typical boy things. And admittedly, he can give as bad as he receives. His friends do not react to similar teasing but they do seem to enjoy it when my son does. When teasing starts my son often ends up "telling" which does little to mend things in the long run. My son does well with each of these boys one on one, but when all three of them are together my son always ends up odd man out. These are neighborhood boys who basically see each other at school, scouts, sports. Our families are part of a circle of neighborhood friends and avoiding them would be near impossible.

Now, here is the greater problem. Next week they are all scheduled to participate in a school trip (3 days away) and each boy has been asked who they want to room with on the trip. My son chose these two boys and another friend. The two boys each chose each other, my son's other friend and a third boy (who is not a friend of my son, but teases him also). The third boy my son chose asked to be with the two boys and their other friend--so in this senario my son has been either completely excluded or included in a group of boys that will likely tease him the entire trip.

Does any one have any suggestions on how I approach this either with my friends (the boys parents) or teachers (regarding the school trip). I have considered asking the teachers if they could place my son with his third friend but not the other two, but I would have to get this third friend to put my son his list to avoid the other boys on the trip.

I'm afraid the boys' parents don't see this as a serious situation since neither of their boys is the object of the tease/exclusion and my child is the sensitive one. If we avoid these two boys my son will be pretty much on the outside for the forseeable future and honestly this just breaks my heart and makes my really angry. My son wants to be friends with these boys but how can he retain the friendships and still stand his ground? Help.

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