Hi marie, i read with insterest about your daughter, and now being a widow of a diabetic and going through a ton of things when Al was in the hospital i have to agree with Agnespuffin. although i live in canada, in a large northwestern ontario city with a doctor stortage over 30,000 people where i live are without a doctor and must use the er or walkin clinics (we are lucky in this country as there is no or very little cost, only the rich pay). One of Al's doctor's did not have hospital visiting priveledges and so he had to see a new doctor at the hospital, this doctor changed all his meds around and he was on rapid-nova insulin 3 times a day and nph at night and this was given on a sliding scale, which i had to give him every day of hislife (we were married for 25 years last Nov.). i will admit that i was glad when his old doctor retired this new one was more up on new meds. we also have a diabet. northwest, which diabetic goes to school and can bring another person alone. you would be surprised what foods can bring the sugars up. also and i know everone is different but Al had a white coat syndrom which made his blood sugars go up when he sees someone in a lab coat! also if the nurses didn't give him the insulin at his usual times he would have a reaction. i feel sorry for your family and your daughter and wish you the best. ps agnes picked up joan hess and mary daheim at the library, the kichen will be there and so will the paint! debbie

What anguish I read these comments with. My beloved Maine Coon Cat at age ten gradually stopped eating after his requisite vaccinations. He gradually lost a third of his weight. I took him to the vet. Blood work was done. Palpations were done. He stopped eating, or, as far as I could tell, drinking. I was distraught, and, finally, on a weekend took him to the Pet hospital, where he is now. After reading many of these comments, I am very afraid. He is ten years old and we have had him since he was three weeks old. He is laid-back, thoughtful, and has command of much vocabulary. How can we get along without our beloved cat? He is to have an ultrasound tomorrow, and I shudder at what the news might be. . .

Hi Everyone, Wow, it's been a revelation reading your posts. I can commiserate. I've been dating a man for a little over two years. He has 3 children, and the 12 year old daugther (the oldest) is giving me problems suddenly. I have two kids, so we're talking FIVE kids here. Anyway...we waited a LONG time to meet each others' kids and introduce the kids. We all me last May, which was a year and three quarters into our relationship. It could not have gone more beautifully! We've gotten the kids together about 6 times since then, and we are always careful to be sure that we don't occupy every weekend we have our kids TOGETHER; it's important that my kids have alone time with me, and important that his kids have alone time with him. Last month, the sweetest thing happened....his 12 year old said "I love you" to me! It floored me!! She has always attached herself to me, wants to be in MY car to talk to me (rather than her fathers....heck, we have to take 2 cars with 5 kids!), and talks non stop about stuff with a lot of smiles. ALL OF THE SUDDEN..BOOOOOM! This past weekend I was at his house helping take care of his kids while he met a deadline (he's a tax attorney), and as soon as I got there I was met with coldness from her. I was kind of floored. She was misbehaving with her younger siblings, and he saw all of this. He tried talking to her a few times and she keps saying "I'm just tired". Well, finally he had it and they went in a room to talk. She started venting and crying about how her life has changed, she wants him to move closer (he's 30 minutes away). He handled it beautifully with her. I went in to talk to her at another time, as well, and just told her that she can always talk to me, even if it's about me, and that it's important that she get her feelings out and not bottle them up. I also told her that I understood if she didn't want me there that weekend because we've been seeing each other a lot lately, but I was only there because dad was in a pinch and I was helping. She told her dad later on that she "didn't want to talk to HER, because SHE"S the one I'm mad at!!!". I had given her some books as a gift, and she told him "Why did she even give me that? I didn't want it! I told her I didn't want it!". So, how is it...HOW is it that a month ago this little girl tells me she loves me, a few days prior she was telling me all about her first dance, and then BOOM...she doesn't like me? I'm really frightened that this will tear apart our relationship! THe divorce and ensuing time has been fraught with nastiness and bitterness from her mom, who never ceases to badmouth my bf in front of the kids (and in front of whomever happens to be around, even at PTA meetings...it's awful). My bf and I think (are pretty damn sure) that this badmouthing has now been about me, as well, and GOSH only knows what she would be telling this child! I can't control his ex (neither can he, apparently, which is also driving me nuts), and I certainly can't control his daughter. Tonight when I asked him how she could suddenly not like me, how could she have said "I love you" just a month ago, he said, "well, maybe the i love you was just a reflex because she's used to saying it before she says goodbye to people". I was just hurt by that....it feels like he took that away from me, dismissed it as a 'mistake'! And, he couldn't understand why I got hurt! Any advice? I'm at the BEGINNING of this stuff that you guys have been through already, and it sounds like some of you have gotten through it with your relationship in tact. My bf is a wonderful person, and I don't want to lose him, yet I feel rather hopeless. After all, this is the 1st of 5 kids who will all become teens and go through this stuff! With the ex having the kids the vast, vast majority of the time and able to influence them without conscience, I feel like he and I have yet one MORE mountain to climb. It's bad enough dealing with the ex and her antics. Advice....please?

She's 25. I'm not sure we can even begin to understand the pressures on a woman in her mid to late 20's in 2008. Pressure to have a solid relationship, pressure to still be having fun like she did in college, pressure to be wonderfully successful in her career, pressure to always look good because that's what our culture expects; it just goes on and on. I work with a few women in their 20's and they can be delightfully fun one minute and crying the next. And it's almost daily! They are smart and professional - and emotional basket cases. Any advice I could give them would be 30 years past it's relevance so I never do it unless they specifically ask about a work situation. They don't want it from me and they certainly don't want it from their mothers. They all (yes, all) tell me they feel like failures compared to their mothers! They see Mom as someone who has a long term relationship (usually), successfully raised kids, and has enough money to live comfortably. They don't have any of that (yet). Plus, they are exhausted all the time, especially the ones who travel like your daughter. Try to just love her without judging or advising (or hovering). For you, those things equate to love, but to her it probably doesn't feel like that at all. When she shows up at your house she's probably already decided that her life isn't measuring up to what you expect, that you are going to say something about it and that she'll end up feeling terrible. She's already gotten to that emotional place before you say anything! The next time you want to tell her to cheer up, or get professional help, instead tell her that you know she's smart and creative and that you know she'll work it out. You can even admit to her that you would like to be her friend, but you're not sure how to stop being a mother all the time! I bet it will make her laugh and help her to understand where you are coming from when you do slip and start to hover. :~))