|
| I need help dealing with my boyfriends spoiled 19 year old daughter. She is an only child and raised by her father, The problem is she doesn't know how or wont deal with life. She wants to be an adult but acts like a child. If things don't go her way she starts to cry and have fits all the time. He caves to her just to keep her happy. He is not helping her by doing this in anyway. He let her boyfriend move into the house with her just to keep her home at night. He knows that if he didn't let this happen she would be sleeping at a different place every night because the boyfriend has no place to live. The daughter nor the boyfriend have a job and my boyfriend supports them both. The daughter does go to college part time but does nothing else. She is always asking her dad for money and he gives it to her just to keep her happy.The problem is she is starting to come between his and mine relationship.I have 3 kids of my own ages 22, 18 and 14. My 22 year old has been on her own since she was 19 my 18 year old works and my 14 year old is a A student in school. I look at the way his daughter uses him and it drives me crazy. I don't know if I should say something or just go with it and hope that one day she grows up. She tells him all the time that he never does anything with her and that makes him tell me that he has to do something with her but as soon as she gets money from him shes gone. Any help with how to deal with this mess would be helpful. |
Follow-Up Postings:
|
| You have a full life bringing up your own children. How important is this man to you ? It is tricky territory casting criticism on another's parenting techniques. Words have to be chosen very carefully. You could deal with this "mess" by changing your reaction to it. In reality why does it bother you ? In 5 years it won't be an issue. Children grow up and move on and all those stresses cease, perhaps you could just wait for that. Failing that you could have a little chat with your BF, offering some constructive comments in combination with working out a firm plan on how you react to this girl. It is a tricky age and I don't envy your situation. Good luck. |
|
- Posted by dreamgarden (My Page) on Sat, Sep 15, 12 at 13:11
| It doesn't sound like you like the daughter very much and I could hardly blame you. If this were me, I would keep quiet about her. She has been his daughter much longer than you have been his girlfriend. Regardless of his poor parenting skills, I'm sure he feels he has done something right..... I wouldn't move in with him or allow him to move in with you while this 'problem' exists. I'd keep your options open and maintain separate residences until 'baby girl' grows up. You don't want her to be able to affect your kids or have access to anything valuable so long as she is dating a loser. Best of luck to you. |
|
- Posted by ScreamingHurt (My Page) on Sat, Sep 15, 12 at 20:43
| I heard this quote recently: " The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children." I suppose you could add, by our "lover's children." IF you LOVE HIM, REALLY LOVE HIM... like you think he and you have a long future together... |
|
| I'm sorry--this isn't what you want to hear--but how he raises his daughter, the ins and outs of their relationship...are really none of your business. You need to decide whether you can tolerate the situation as is, without butting in, or if you need to leave--those really are your only choices in this. He has every right to raise his daughter as he sees fit--you wouldn't appreciate it very much if he started telling you to start treating YOUR children differently than you do, would you? Make a true effort to be empathetic here, and I think you'll be able to evaluate the situation from a different point of view |
|
- Posted by LuAnn_in_PA (My Page) on Mon, Oct 1, 12 at 9:53
| I agree with azzalea! None of your business. |
Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum. If you are a member, please log in. If you aren't yet a member, join now!
Return to the Parents Forum
Instructions
- You must be a registered member and logged in to post messages on our forums.
- Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review the contents and make changes.
- After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
- It is illegal to post copyrighted material without the owner's consent.
- HTML codes are allowed in the message field only.
- No advertising is allowed in any of the forums.
- If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
- If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.