Not so sure about gifts to make. My 9 and 11 year old boys like to make stuff, but we don't call it crafts. They don't want anything made by me. Both boys love duct tape and love to make their own duct tape wallets or use it to do other fun stuff I loved the hooded towels for my kids when they were little. My kids loved photo albums even when they little. They loved looking at pictures of themselves and other family members. My oldest child took his to daycare. You could put togther some of the really inexpensive albums for the little ones to carry around. You could do something a little nicer for the 10 to.

How does your husband feel about taking in just the kids? My BIL and SIL are bipolar. We've seen so much with them! As long as your daughter is NOT taking her meds, she'll never have a "normal" enough life. She'll never get her life back on track. My first priority would be my grandchildren cuz they're too young to help themselves and have no choice but to live this life of hell. Maybe talk to your husband about taking in just the kids for awhile until your daughter gets her life together and starts by helping herself first. It must be really hard for her to do so with 2 kids. That's if she WANTS to help herself! My brother and his wife have full custody of their two grandchildren (3 and 6), been almost 2 years. Their son is a drug dealer (the father) and the mother is a bipolar drug addict. They are not together as a couple and never have been. The youngest child was born a crack baby. The son doesn't do drugs, just sells it. My SIL fought tooth and nail to get both the mother to sign over parental rights. The family has been through hell and is still going through it because no matter what the mother does to screw up her kids' lives, the law is on her side. The father, however, can only have supervised visits cuz of the way he treated the mother. He slapped her once to "snap her out of a fit" while she was high. He has "straightened" her out several times but she keeps going back to drugs. Fast forward to today.... the father is a good father to the kids (actually the oldest is not his bio child but he loves him like his own) and does everything for them. They are spoiled rotten! The mother calls the oldest and tells him lies about his grandmother (my SIL) and tries to get him to spy on them for "ammunition against them". My SIL then tries to explain to him why his mother is acting like this but that she still loves him. The poor kid is so screwed up emotionally that he wants to talk to a judge cuz he says he doesn't know who to believe anymore and knows a judge wouldn't lie. He's had counsellors before too but the mother is just damaging him so bad. So much so that just yesterday, in fact, my SIL went to court to get a court order for the mother to have "no contact" with her kids. She didn't win cuz she didn't have enough evidence. She has appealed. I told my SIL that she should have the oldest talk to this judge so she could see for herself. With Children's Aid, the courts, etc.... it seems that they protect the mother more than they protect the kids. Which is a real shame! It seems that Children's Aid, the court, etc., seem to "forget" that the youngest was born a crack baby! The mother has more drug charges then the father, including other charges, and still the law is more on her side! The only reason why my SIL and brother got full custody of the kids was because my SIL found out that the mother was using someone else's urine for her mandatory drug tests. Just before they were to enter the court room, my SIL's lawyer requested a drug test (hair) right away. Test proves positive and her lawyer told her she'd lose the case so make it easier and sign away her rights. And she did. All the best to you! Check out these sites. It might be helpful. http://www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com/ http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Grandparents.shtml

Popi--if this were your son, you'd be wise to be fearful of your retirement and your safety. I told you what happened to my MIL--that girl started out the same way--stealing little bits, then oh-so-tearfully apologizing (oh, so insincerely!) The thing I didn't mention above? because it's always so painful to think about? She almost surely was involved in her father's death, because she was so intent upon getting her hands on the money (and he was in his right mind, unlike his wife, so he was an impediment to her). Look, I don't dispute the fact that the father may have gone off the deep end a bit, but when you have someone that dangerous in your life, you DO have to cut them loose. I'd have done it differently, but that child would still have been out of our lives--and really do the fine points matter that much at that point?

As far as we know, she is not attending college. DH found her after an extensive search a couple of years ago (the mother would move everytime DH found out where they were!) and at the time she had no intentions on going to college, she was barely making the grades to pass HS. Anyway, we live in AL, the case is thru LA, and the wires always seem to get crossed on who is supposed to do what....could our local agency help us with it? like you suggested? or do we continually have to try and get some kind of info out of the LA office? We are just in a mess with all the confusion these workers seem to bring into the picture! No one wants to give us any answers, we can't afford an attorney! I'm so angry with the way the system works! Not to mention, he also has 3 kids here that he has custody of, their mother wife#2 hasn't seen them in 2 years and is not made to pay a dime in support or medical and will not ever pay if she can help it. The way the system works, she never will! But, of course, if they had to try, that would mean that they would have to take time away from their manhunt for all the so-called "deadbeat dads" of the country to even begin to fathom the idea of there being a deadbeat mother out there! Heaven forbid! Sorry, just so disappointed in the way things are going with our situation right now! We have no money for an attorney, so I am trying to find out all we can do for free, which is: stop current CS and get the arrears paid, get bio-dad of the child he has legal guardianship over to pay CS, get the mother of all 3 to pay CS, get them all to help with the medical or something, geez!!! He/we raise them, emotionally and financially, the BM#2 (and bio-dad of the girl for whom we are legal guardians) are allowed to come and go and call as they please, but they want nothing more than contact, no obligations and so far they have not been made to have any! Ooops, this has turned into a horrible rant, I apologize.