Ibelle I know what you are going through. When my DD was 15 her behaviour mirrored what she saw on TV. She watched a lot of shows where the young people were so disrespectful towards their piers and the adults. I could see that was how my DD was behaving to me. In my corner of the world, my children did go to a school that had very good discipline and they set a high standard of behaviour, one thing that impressed me was the boys had to stand back and let the girls through the door first. My DS is still at this school now. So a big proportion of the students are there because their parents seek out that sort of school. I think the suggestion of your daugher asking people over is a good idea. Just talk to her, ask her about her day, be her good role model. I know its very hard, particularly when they just really don't like you ! Its like tip toeing through a mine field. You never know when the mine will go off, and you don't know what the damage will be. And of course we are punching bags, like one of those blow up clowns that you punch and then they pop back up ! Sorry about all tha analogies ! I am sure things will get better, I think she is over the worst of it. All the best to you. Popi

"... Anyway it's a balance between having some empathy for a fellow human being... vs. excusing behavior that should not be continuing or exonerated regardless of where it stems from. It's a bit odd to think of it this way, but I imagine this is the dilemma many well-meaning step-parents face with their SK's who have various behavior problem." I think you're right!! A very fine balance. And I agree that SP have this kind of issue when dealing with SK. And bio parents with kids too. Yes, you've been hurt and are damaged, but it's still not ok to __________. My SM's father committed suicide and her mother is even worse than she is. I call her Maid Marian. We visited her once, and SM says to my daughter, this is your great-grandmother. And Maid M. says, who is a great grandmother. And SM says, you are mom, I am ________ SM, and her daughter is my granddaughter, which makes you her greatgrandmother. And MM says, no I'm not!!!! Wow. Talk about an eye opener. And this is in front of my four year old. I didn't expect a s-grandma at the old age of 18 when they met, have never gotten presents, etc from her, and don't begrudge her not wanting to be my grandma, but to say that in front of a little girl!? At least my daughter wasn't really paying attention. So my SM grew up with a toxic BM. And my SM was kidnapped and psycologically/physically tortured in her early 20's. And and and. I do feel sorry for her. But the balance comes in, because i didn't have a perfect childhood either, but I don't drag it along behind me in a gunny sack. My SM does the same thing as your SM (it sounds like it anyway). She pulls poor me and manipulates everyone into falling into her "I'm so damaged and mistreated so I deserve to be treated like a princess" trap. Then whoever calls her on it is automatically cast in the role of big bad wolf.

This thread reminds me of Aristophanes' Plutus. Kierkegaard quoted from this play when he wrote "Either/Or"; Vol. I: THE ROTATION METHOD: "You get too much at last of everything, of love, of bread, of music, and of sweetmeats. Of honor, cakes, of courage, and of figs. Ambition, barley-cakes, high office, lentils." (alternately spoken by Chremylos and Karion; Karion made the food references) Kierkegaard went on to talk about how people always want change and tire of what they already have. I think this is part of the reason that people always want something new and are not interested in keeping possessions from their parents. I was more interested in what my grandparents had collected, but today I do not think millennials are as interested in what their grandparents have. If you want to read more of Kierkegaard, I recommend the anthology edited by Robert Bretall, as it has the best translations. I have no heirs, other than my younger brother, and he also has no children, and so we are not sure what will happen to our possessions after we are gone, but I am not particularly concerned. However, we do have a large collection of art and paintings - mostly done by my brother - and so I think nieces and nephews might be interested. We also have some mid-century furniture that we have collected that someone could easily sell at an estate sale if they did not want it. In fact, we bought our dining set at an estate sale down the street.

Wood floors in a bathroom are NOT a good idea. There is far too much moisture. If anything splashes or leaks it could ruin the floor. However, there are many luxury vinyl plank options that look like wood and are waterproof. There are some that are glue down which can be sealed more and some that are click lock. My friend got clicklock ones and the toilet overflowed. Water went under the boards but he borrowed my dehumidifier to dry up the room before it could do any major damage. I believe if he had sealed around the perimeter of the flooring, the water might not have gone under, but am not certain. What size are the individual linoleum tiles there? If they are 9"x9" there is a chance they could contain asbestos. As for a freestanding tp holder, you could place it between the toilet and the window if it doesn't stick out too much. You could put a towel ring at the same horizontal placement as the current toilet paper holder but move it up more. That spot of missing paint on the wall might be a good place for it. Are there any electrical outlets near the vanity? By code there is supposed to be at least one GFCI outlet within 36" of the vanity.