I agree with Popi's post. Our relationships with our adult daughters is quite a dance. We have so much loving advice to give them, and we want so much to help them all we can. Sometimes it's easy to forget that our daughters need to feel free and confident to find their own way and make their own mistakes. I'm assuming your daughter is a good mother. If so, then think about what you're saying in your post. We have advised her of keeping her daughter warm arriving in 17 degree weather with no jacket or hat .She started saying I'm just going to the car but all we wanted was to keep her daughter warm. Each time any thing that is said to her about taking care of her daughter she gets very defensive and angry which makes us feel incompetitent. Probably you are making her feel incompetent as well. You say, "each time anything that is said to her about taking care of her daughter", but are you considering that each time you are telling her she isn't taking care of her daughter the *correct* way, you're telling her she's incompetent to make that decision? I told her you make me feel like a irreresponsible teenager. Probably she feels the same way - that you make her feel like an irresponsible teenager. When your husband calls her husband lazy, he's basically calling your daughter incompetent to choose a husband. And of course she's going to tell her husband what her dad says. You mentioned in your post that you are overprotective. I think most mothers would sympathize with you about being overprotective. Our daughters are so precious, and we love them so much and want to protect them as we raise them in safety and love. I think a lot of us, if not most of us, could be called overprotective. I was raised by overprotective parents. If you were an overprotective mother, it's quite possible the dynamic you've set up all these years between you and your daughter has a lot of bearing on how she relates to you. Some of us daughters of overprotective parents have our adult boundaries set in stone. Mine are. My daughter and I had a rocky road together during her teenage years. One thing I did was to take her to lunch once a week at a place she liked. That was our "safe" place. There in that place I bit my tongue off. We talked about what she wanted to talk about. I tried not to give advice or criticism or ask questions about anything she didn't want to talk about. Sometimes when a relationship gets rocky, it helps to have some healing time when you just enjoy each others' company. The other advice I would give is to try not to mind so much about some of the things you mention. Not mowing the grass is not the end of the world. Mowing the grass is VERY important to me and it would annoy me and grate on me to have one of my children chronically not mow the grass. Trust me, I feel your pain. But it's not the end of the world. If he has a job and loves his wife and daughter, not bringing in firewood or mowing the grass might be small potatoes to her. And it's her opinion of him that counts. Not having a coat and hat on the baby - maybe that's small potatoes, too. My son got hot easily as a baby. Older people frequently said something to me about not keeping him warm enough, but the pediatrician specifically talked to me about not keeping him too warm. If I was just going back and forth to a close parked, warm car in 17 degree weather I probably wouldn't have put a coat and hat on my baby, either. Not letting a dog owner keep a baby - there are a lot of mothers like that. I hope you can work something out with your daughter. Sometimes it's hard to work out those mother/daughter relationships.

I think some kids of divorce hold on to slights (real or imagined) forever. My daughter and son were 9 & 7 when their father and I divorced. They are in their 40's now. Despite our best efforts, one rolled with the punches and the other one to this day still has little flashes of resentment. It sounds like your husband -and you too - stayed very involved in her life, making the best of a situation he chose to be able to make a living. You always hope that once kids grow up and start looking at life through grown up eyes, they'll realize things are not always the black and white of their youth. So at 29 years old, if she still suffers abandonment issues, it's way beyond time for her to own them. It may be that she's sensed your husband guilt in this regard and is playing on it. The fact that you still have family vacations is wonderful. But the fact that a 29 year old woman feels that EVERY vacation you take needs to include her, IS unnerving. I can see how that would be disturbing to you. It's like a spin off of Arrested Development! You can't really control what she thinks or says or does. You can only control how you react to it. And I think the less reaction, the better? She is likely just trying to call your bluff, but If she is silly enough to go to the same place on her own, just tell her you can probably get together for dinner one night and leave it at that. Fortunately it seems your husband also finds her behavior odd. Think how whacked out you'd be if he was agreeing with HER all the time!!

Try "Chinese Cinderella," a memoir written by Adeline Yen Mah. Her story takes place mostly in China where she lived with her father, stepmother, numerous siblings and extended family. Her own mother died giving birth to her and she felt largely unwanted and rejected during her youth. In our local library, this book is shelved with adult non-fiction but my own pre-teen and several of her friends read it and found it fascinating. Another good choice would be "Secret Girl" by Molly Bruce Jacobs. Another memoir, it covers Jacobs building a relationship with her mentally retarded sister living in an instituion. Jacobs' privileged family essentially warehoused the sister in a state home, igngoring her and only telling Jacobs of the sister when Jacobs was a pre-teen herself. This book, too, is considered an adult book but I did allow my daughter to read it. While I don't have a specific book in mind, your daughter may enjoy reading about the Romanov family, especially Anastasia and her sisters and brother.

I bought some at hobby lobby for $5, some at Walmart for about that. I ordered the Angie Grace from Amazon for around $9 I think. And I got some on eBay for between $4-5. I need to check out the below 5 dollar store. What brand are the ones from there?