skip to main content

Breaking up

16 years ago

Hi. I have been dating my boyfriend for the last two years, one of which we have lived together with his now 6 year old daughter. We are very much a step-family aside from the legallity of being married. I have developed a very strong relationship with her and we both are struggling with how to tell her we are breaking up. I don't want her to feel like it is her fault, that I am leaving because I want to, or that her father wants me to. We both agree to maintain a good friendship and that we will still all see each other. Does anyone have advice on how best to tell her this and how we can both help her through this?

Sort by:Oldest

Comment (1)

mom2emall
16 years ago
I am sure that you both have good intentions of staying friends and all seeing eachother, but it is very unrealistic. If you got along so well I doubt that a break-up would be necessary. I think that you should make sure that the daughter understands that this is not her fault, but I think that it is better for you to just fade out. As you and he begin to date other people it is very unlikely that others will be okay with you two continuing this "friendship".

When my son was young I was with a guy for a few years and my son became very fond of him. When I broke things off with the guy and he was out of the picture my son would ask about him. I would just tell him that things did not work out. My son eventually stopped asking. He and his father have a close relationship, so it was not like my bf was the only male in his life. Does your bf's daughter have her mother in her life? Kids can be more resiliant than we think.

Good luck!
Related Discussions
How to break up manure piles on pasture
Q
Comments (11)
I'm fortunate to be in Oregon, so my problem is less with poopsicles and more with poop soup, but... The consensus among those on Chronicle of the Horse Around the Farm forum is that frozen manure stuck to frozen ground is a lost cause and best left until spring. One great (although not cheap) option is to create a sacrifice area separate from your pasture(s), laying down geotextile and then several inches of gravel to create drainage, prevent mud and ice, and allow manure removal, even in the icy cold. (Of course, with snow, you'll still have poopsicles, but it's better than icy mud.) You do have to remove manure every day, or you will be back to square one.
...See More
help me break up this sea of beige!
Q
Comments (139)
Yeah for team work ! Had this kitchen info: Rufty Custom Built: Cabinets are "Alabaster" from SWilliams. Ceiling and trim are "White Dove" also from S-W. Walls are "Pale Oak" from Ben Moore.
...See More
How do I break up the oppressive roof in this 80s contemporary?
Q
Comments (3)
Nothing to be done with that unless you're willing to hire an architect to do an overhaul. If it bugs you, don't buy the house.
...See More
Redoing bedroom after break up!
Q
Comments (17)
These are colors in the rug … I think it would look nice to find a coverlet or blanket in the salmon or blue colors and use on your bed with the comforter/duvet folded down. This coverlet is $63: Remember — your white duvet would be folded down: Bringing in blue: So even if you don’t like every single thing, I just wanted to show bringing in some softness, color, and depth. If you don’t care for the salmon or blue, you could bring in more grays or whites with my first mock-up above. I’d get rid of the dark gray colors in the room (rug, pillows, curtains). And have more than one lamp so you never have to use the overhead light. Your inspiration picture here would be very easy to do — Rugs USA has similar rugs, you could find inexpensive white curtains (Ikea, Ama.zon, Target, Overstock, etc), and then accessorize. Rug and pillows:
...See More

Related Stories

MOST POPULAR The Polite House: On ‘No Shoes’ Rules and Breaking Up With Contractors

Emily Post’s great-great-granddaughter gives us advice on no-shoes policies and how to graciously decline a contractor’s bid

CEILINGS Break Up a Bland Ceiling the Modern Way

Banish a boring drywall ceiling by using these techniques to create architectural interest

GARDENING GUIDES 4 Ways to Break the Rules in Your Garden

By Benjamin Vogt / Monarch Gardens

For a more creative landscape design, take a different approach to planting

DECORATING GUIDES 11 Area Rug Rules and How to Break Them

By Janell Beals - House of Fifty

How big should an area rug be? These guidelines will help you find the right size and placement

DECORATING GUIDES 7 Design Rules and Why You Should Break Them

By Toronto Interior Design Group

Think tile is only for kitchens and bathrooms? Art should hang at eye level? Time to consider breaking these old rules

DECORATING GUIDES Feel Free to Break Some Decorating Rules

By Becky Dietrich, Interior Designer

Ditch the dogma about color, style and matching, and watch your rooms come alive

KIDS’ SPACES 7 Kids’ Bedroom Decor Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

By Karen Egly-Thompson

Take an economical approach to decorating your child’s room with these DIY ideas

STORAGE Bookcases and Floating Shelves That Break the Mold

By Laura Gaskill

Linear horizontal shelves have their place, but you can also get creative. Here are some ideas to spark inspiration

HOUZZ TOURS Houzz Tour: A Jersey Shore Beach House Breaks Free

By Becky Harris

Shedding its dismal and oppressive rooms for a gloriously radiant outlook, this weekend home finds the light

LAUNDRY ROOMS Laundry Makes a Clean Break With Its Own Room

Laundry rooms are often a luxury nowadays, but a washer-dryer nook in a kitchen, office or hallway will help you sort things out

Sponsored